Seeking Moms - Hopkinsville,KY

My son is 12 years old and has ADHD. He was diagnosed officially, after he started having trouble at school. He is on Concerta 54 mg now and I wish I had done it sooner. I am an RN and I dreaded putting him on medication. He is doing really well on it, especially at school.

I am a former teacher and taught preschool for children with special needs. Many of my students were diagnosed with ODD, ADHA, and autism. If you have any specific things you would like to discuss, feel free to email me at ____@____.com name is J..

My sons have ADD / ADHD and we are just starting to really recognize it and figure out ways to deal with it. Here are some things we are going to try or are already trying, non competitive , high activity level sports ( we are going to try swim lessons and ice skating lessons). We are looking at moving to the country with a lot of land where little boys can run, jump, and play without bothering anything or anybody. Hopefully they can also have some sort of tree house or place to get away from it all if needed. Organization is a key thing too,,charts, graphs, things which they can visually see what is expected of them and how they are doing. Remember to find something that you can do or give them that lets them know when they are doing a good job with something. We also homeschool which allows a lot more flexibility in every area. The big thing which we are doing is to put them on the nutritional supplement which I take ( I have ADHD too) and hopefully that will help with a lot of different areas. It has helped me tremendously ( as well as other ADHD kids ) so I have faith that it will help them too. Last thing find a support network for your family... whether its extended family, church family or something else, you need people who can understand what you are going through and will come along to support and help you in this adventure. Feel free to email me if you would like to talk more or just need to vent. After reading all the other posts.. I am wondering if there is a way to start an online forum/ chat group just for people who are dealing with ADHD in some facet or another. Anyone interested feel free to email or post and let me know.

I think many children with supposedly ADD (etc.) problems are really children acting out for individual attention they are not receiving. As a busy mom with 2 other children for your son to compete with for your attention, plus your attending college (another full time job), your son may simply need your one on one attention, approval and especially, affection.
Regardless of the reasons for his behavior, it should be considered worth the investment of your time to dig deeper (it always seems to be the mother's responsibility to give even more) and give your son more of your affection, time... etc. All children at one time or another, need more of their mother and they deserve to have it. Your son may have felt a lack for a long time.
I respect you are trying so hard, but your three should be the most important job to you, while they are young. Mamas' are still the most important person in their lives and part time just doesn't always do it. I wish you all well. ps

I have a 4-year old granddaughter with ADD and she is on medication. It's been changed once as the first did not work! She is HORRIBLE in Pre-K, disrupts the class every day, will not take a nap, has said NO to her teacher once, stands in her chair, steals, etc. I do NOT think this is all because of ADD but because of her upbringing (or lack thereof) before her mom and my son got married. It is very difficult. I have tried EVERYTHING - punishment, praise, taking toys away, giving her special toys, simply talking to her to explain things....but the next day, it's the same horrible behavior again. You didn't state what the age of your son was or what his problems are specifically...or if he is on medication. Perhaps you could share more specifics and we could correspond. All I can say is he WILL get better as he ages (my son - 33 yrs old - had learning disabilities associated with ADD) but it takes a lot of patience and understanding and probably special teachers who understand the problem. One thing I CAN say is he needs rules that you stick by, and explain EVERYTHING to him. ADD children do NOT like changes and need to have a regular routine.

P.S. - HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY - Treat yourself!!!!

Can you update me with your sons age? That makes alot of difference. Also, how long he has had these problems? I work in the MH field and may be able to point you in the right direction.

I strongly urge you before turning to meds is to clean up his diet. Eliminate soft drinks, excess of sugar, any foods with food coloring (read the label for ingredients), set a consisitent nightly bedtime so he gets plenty of sleep each night. Any of the things I have mentioned can cause excess energy, the hiper activity. His diet should be full of fruits, vegetables and make sure he is getting plenty of water throughout the day. Once you have done all of the above and he has been on a healthy diet and good sleep schedule for a month and you still do not feel he is much better, find in your town a person that does muscle testing. Check the health food stores. You probably will need to do some type of cleanse, too. This person could help you with that, too. Ask about an Ion cleanse. Simple and very effective in pulling out impurities. Good luck!

K.,
My son is 9 and was diagnosed ADHD at 4. Last year it was changed to Bi-polar. Which explains alot of the things we have gone through. I would be happy to share any tips with you, if you would like to share some of your concerns.

K.,

Check out www.conductdisorders.com

You can email me too anytime.

L.

Hi~ my oldest child has ADHD and I as well have noticed tendencies, but never did the testing. You will want to creat as much organization as you can for your child. I have four children and I attend college as well. I study children! I am working towards my Elem. Ed. degree and have about 10 years in this field, set aside from being a full time mom. If I can help in any other way, if it is just to listen to your fustrations about the behaviors that your child is displaying, not a problem!

K.

K.,
I would love to get some feedback on ADHD children, I have tried to find some support groups, but not enough parents want to do it, I have tried churches and a YWCA. My name is V. and I have a 8 year old son, David. He got kicked out of preschool, almost kicked out of another, rough first 3 years of school. This is our first year of homeschool, hard work, but he is doing better. He goes to a local church on Tuesdays for classes with other homeschool kids, and we are involved in a great homeschool support group. But not many kids have ADHD. I am 43 years old, I live with my dad, single, and I have a 24 year old daughter about to get married, and she lives out of state, so it's like having an only child with just my son at home. I llok forward to hearing from you, be blessed, V. ____@____.com

Hi K.,
I am a mother of two, have a BSc in Psychology as well as an MSW. I have worked for 3 years specifically with children with behaviors challenges associated with ADHD and ODD as well as a few with mood disorders. What areas are you, your son and the rest of your family struggling with in relation to your son's behavioral challenges? Is it at home, in the school, or both? I would love to help and offer suggestions, just let me know what is going on. :)

I have a 5 yr old daughter who is ADHD and a 3 yr old son just diagnosed autistic. They are complete opposites and I'm constantly trying to balance our lifes. It's hard but no one ever said having kids would be a picnic. I have so many fears about not doing my best for them. I have found that the best thing for all three of us is coloring together. It's the simpliest things in life that are the solutions to many problems. How does a parent what they are doing is right? Just taking each day slowly and doing the best we can is the answer.

I am also dealing with this situation with my five year old son. I do not want my son to be placed on prescribed meds. I have committed myself to trying everything else before I have him placed on meds. I have an appointment for him to be tested for ADHD at the end of March. I have changed his daily supplemental vitamin to "Attentive Child" from GNC. I have also been keeping a daily log of his behaviors and food intake. At school, his teacher gives him conduct grades for each activity during the day instead of waiting until the end of the day. I have only done this for the past week and he had his best day of the year this Monday and has received positive conduct marks every day. Oh yeah. I did change his diet somewhat. I used to feed him a beef sausage patty and waffle with regular syrup and a cup of orange juice. Now he gets either oatmeal and a piece of wheat toast or a beef sausage patty and a slice of wheat toast with only butter. If anyone can give me some other ideas please respond.

I'm not an expert, but as a teacher/educator for a number of years, I've read several studies and seen first hand numberous situations with this. If you want, mail me a private message and give me more info. about your situation and questions.

hello my name is J. i have a son his name is david, that has all those but can't get a doc to gave meds. but my mom and i look everything up on the internet. but the best place i have had my son to is UT medical center in tn. my son will pull his hair out, scare his face,bite,scream,and hit himself. i know how u feel. It a 24/7 job with him and i have to other children to take care of. GOD BLESS YOU. would like to talk more to u anytime u want. we do a lot of 1 on 1 talks about how he feels, time-outs, and lots of big hugs.

K.:

Go to www.nami.org to seek a group in your area. In our state, families meet with each other, have guest speakers on these kinds of topics and can meet peers with similar circumstances. You may also be able to access counseling services for yourself at your college.

I have an adhd boy. he is 7. What do you want to know? He was diagnosed when he 5 almost 6. He is doing good but we have a time with the meds sometimes. Like right now he is having a very hard time getting to sleep at night, and it makes our mornings awful. But all in all you have to learn to acceppt that they have a medical problem, and you won't be a bad parent if you give your child meds. If anything you are a good parent for doing it so you child can reap the benefits of being a child not "the BAD KID".