Seeking Mom of Teens

I do electronic restriction. Right now my son isn't allowed to play on his XBox until a B that he got (because he didn't do what he should have) is up to an A.

Also, his phone has to be docked at night - in the kitchen! No night time calls and texting!

www.loveandlogic.com
This is a good resource that might help. It teaches the kids to take more responsibility for their actions and you never have to yell at your kids again.

Its helped me tremendously!

take away cell phone!

My advice is to establish a contract with your 15 year old.
A good resource, and the one we are using , can be found at http://www.teenswithproblems.com/home_contract
It gives you a good way to start and lays out responsibilities, consequenses and privilege. After you have given some time to mull over what is most important to you then have a sit-down discussion with your child and negotiate.

Both you and your child have to sign the contract and you'll have sometthing in writing to refer back to for any disagreement over the consequences.

Good luck...my son turns 15 next month...isn't it a lovely age? They want so bad to be treated like an adult yet haven't matured enough for you to allow total freedom.

W. Q

Of course it depends on what you're disciplining for, but we found a great way to keep our teenager on the straight and narrow at that age - one week at a time! Our problem was grades, but I think this would apply to just about anything, because at that age, their social life is so important to them.

If our daughter had a good week (i.e. no zeros, no tardies, no bad attitude, etc.) then she got to have her weekend. If she screwed up during the week, her weekend was lost and she stayed home and off the phone.

This was much more effective than grounding for a long period of time, because it gave her a fresh start every Monday and it kept her motivated. It's a lot easier to get through a week than a month or two or whatever.

Once she was grounded for 11 weeks!!! After several weeks it was like the end was never coming and she lost any motivation to behave. But one week at a time was a breeze and it made all our lives easier...and her grades came up!

Good luck!

Taking away things they enjoy, such as video games and what not, and grounding to their room. I would say 2 weeks is a good start. If that doesn't catch their attention, then a month. This would be a good time to get them on track with doing homework correctly and neatly, not just rushing through it. Stand firm! They'll be mad at you now, but later will be glad you did.

I am not a mom of a teenager but am a high school teacher so am in tune to their habits, moods, etc. Ask away.

D.,
I have a 15 year old girl and we have tried many many types of discipline. Depends on the behavior that requires discipline as to the type of punishiment hand out. I have some pretty creative ideas that have worked with ours ~ feel free to email me if you would like to chat.
T.

I think it depends on what they did. Most important is for both you and your child to know what the consequences of an action are going to be before imposing punishment. Was it something minor or something serious? It's hard to say without more information.

I agree with moms who said to take things away, but what you take away - whether it's something long-term like a month of grounding or something shorter term, like the ability to spend one night with a pal - depends on your kid's maturity level.

Some teens still need "immediate consequences," rather than a long grounding. Having been through it with my first family, I learned that when you ground some kids for a long time, it seems like forever to them and they think, "well, I've already lost everything. What does it matter what else I do now?" and they turn around and do thing after thing after thing. Pretty soon, you've got them grounded (and ignoring it) for the rest of the year. You've lost your leverage.

Much better to take something immediately important away. Like, "Sorry, you can't go to the Mall with Jessica today because...." Or take a smaller thing away - grounding is basically EVERYTHING - like "come straight home after school" so that you have other things to take away if necessary.

Another thing I learned - if you haven't yet educated your child that your feelings and needs are just as important as hers' this is a good time to do that. Instead of just telling your daughter that her behavior is prohibited, begin telling her what you are afraid of. Begin talking to her as a human being with feelings and fears. This worked for me big-time. My kids started thinking of me as someone who had fear and pain when they disappeared with their friends for hours, failed to answer their cell calls, etc.

Good luck. This is the scariest and hardest time. My 22 and 24 year olds are human beings again, fortunately, but I have three more coming up behind, and I'm really not excited about it!

I am in the same boat and just took away cell phone and ground him indefinetely. Very Hard Argh!!!

If she/he rides to school with friends, then make her take the bus.
My parents did this with me and it really caught my attention. This didn't catch my brother's attention, so. . when he got in trouble they took a month off of when he could drive. My brother already had his truck and would work on it everyday after school. Then he messed up, and they told him he couldn't drive until one month after his bday. They wouldn't even take him to get his license. After that he really shaped up, he knew that my parents meant buisness!!
I hope that this helps, from experiencing this, I can tell you that it worked for my family!!