Seeking Help with Pooping on the Pot!! (4Yr Old)

I am going through a similar problem, so I will give you a little tidbit I learned today. I have an almost 5 year old who was fully trained but regressed when we moved. We just moved from San Diego, CA to Raleigh back in May. Anyway, an early childhood education major who is specializing in 4-8 year olds gave me a suggestion today. She said it didn't work for the younger ones potty-training, but 4-8 year olds respond very well to instant gratification- much like puppy training. :) Give them some instant reward every time they do what they should, then as the behavior becomes more frequent begin to back off with the tangible rewards and use more verbal praise. Still give the tangibles often enough to keep them guessing and wanting. At some point, the behavior will become a habit and they won't need the reward anymore. So that is the new trick I am about to try. If you want to give it a whirl, we can trade war wounds and see how it goes... Good luck to you...

My 5 year old son has the same problem. After a year,I finally went to my pediatrician and found out it can be a medical condition.
See the attached web -http://familydoctor.org/166.xml
I had to put my son on a fiber supplement after clearing his bowels with an enema. We are still working through the problem but it has gotten a lot better, now that we know how to help him. They hold their bowels, until they get constipated, then when they try it is painful, so they hold it more, their
bowels get stretched, they leak poop and don't even feel it. It's a horrible cycle. What starts as a behavioral issue, becomes a medical problem. After you get rid of the impacted stool and give the bowels time to come back down to size, you can start to retrain the behavior. My pediatrician says it usually takes about 3 months. We're in month two right now.

It sounds to me like your daughter is having leakage problems. She may still have an impaction inside. I would get a pedeatric enema (available at most drug stores) and get everything out of her. Then start retaining her to try to clipped a digital timer to my sons shirt to remind him. We still have an occasional accident if he goes over to a freinds and doesn't want to stop playing, but the accidents are not as bad a they were (4 or 5 a day). I also make him rinse his underpants out himself in the tub. If he makes the accident, they he needs to clean it up. We have come a long way.
Hope this helps.
God bless!!!! J.

I saw your post and had to respond. My 5 year old son has gone through the exact same thing. Potty training him was a nightmare, and he just never learned to poop on the potty. We reached a point of desperation several times. It seemed like nothing we did would help, rewards, bribes, punishments, etc. We tried them all. He'd go in his pants, or hold it for days. His doctor put him on stool softener as well. He'd go alot, especially if he'd been holding it awhile. Think about how much is stored up in there! Finally, last fall he was hospitalized because he didn't go poop for over a week.

The best advice I can give is this: Keep your daughter on the stool softener. She will poop nonstop for a few days, but regulate after awhile. After the hospital, he had to take it once a day for a month, and slowly drop down to every other day, taking it less and less. The other thing is, this is a chronic problem. My son is finally doing great, pooping on the potty, no accidents. But I have to constantly moniter him and if he misses a day or two, he gets a dose of stool softener. This usually gets him going.

Sorry to be so long-winded, but while I was going through this ordeal, it seemed like there was nobody out there to help. It's so frustrating, but hang in there, be patient and be vigilant!

Hi A.!! I went through the whole I won;t go thing with my son-now 5 and in Kindergarten. I origionally took him to the Dr and was told that he didn;t have a probblem that it was just his temperment and being stubborn. Well, my son continued to not poop and I returned to the Dr this time with the request for pediatric GI. My son went to GI with much hesitation from my Pedistrician-to find out that he colon and bowel were severly distended(4 times where they should have been!!!) Anyway-after six different medicines and a maintenence dose daily-he is doind great!!! He still has accidents from time to time where he doesn;t make it on time, but they are few and very far between. I felt like a heel though because he suffered with this for almost a year before it was taken care of. I hope that your son isn;t experiencing the same thing. The Ped GI told me that this was more common than you think, esp in boys because of thier anatomy. He is taking Glycolax 17grams daily and I increase if needed. Wish you luck!!!

I had the same problem with my son. At 3 he would use the potty to Pee but he refused to even try to poop on the potty. At 3 1/2 I was at my wits end and tired of changing poopy Pull Up's. I tried everything, I would refuse to put a pull up on him to poop in so he would climb on a chair to get them himself and then come and tell me to change him. He is VERY stong headed and it was a matter of control with him.

To break him I actually took off all of his clothes and gave him a suppository for the first time. He held it as long as he possibly could and then when he couldn't hold it any longer I put him on the potty and talked him through it. After he went the first time and he realized it was fine he never had another problem. She could be doing it for attention or she's just comfortable with a pull up and doesn't like the "change". My Dr. told me to take his power away and suggested the suppository. Worked wonders for me!

Good Luck!
L.
Mother of Noah age 4

My son was almost 5 and still pooping his pants. After trying everything else (including seeing the GI doctor) I told him I'm done touching his poop. You want to poop in your pants, clean it up yourself, I said. When he pooped in his pants again I took him to the bathroom, had him stand on some newspaper and take his pants off. I then held the wipes in front of him for him to use. This happened maybe 4 times then he decided he didn't like doing that and started pooping on the potty. I hope my experience was helpful to you. Good Luck!

If you are sure it's not a medical problem but a ploy for attention, then I suggest giving her what she wants, but only when she does the right thing. If she goes in her pants, just clean her up as quickly as possible with as little talking, touching or interation with her as possible. Of course, you have to clean her, but other than that don't give her any actual attention at all, not even to fuss at her.

But if she goes on the toilet (which I saw some suggestions from other Moms on how to start), then literally make it a party. Spend 5 minutes with her and only her just praising her, singing songs, dancing, whatever. You can even go so far as to give her a balloon or a treat. Call Daddy or Grandparents or someone to tell them what a great job she did. Even call one of her favorite cartoon characters (obviously this would be Daddy or someone pretending to be that character, but she won't know). I mean just go all out with the attention. Continue this every time she goes on the toilet for several days, then gradually make the "parties" shorter and shorter, finally turning into just a "Great job!". Eventually, she should just go without even involving you.

But once you get her to this point, don't forget to still spend some quality one-on-time with just her for at least a few minutes at a time several times a day. Or maybe give her a solid 30 minutes during your younger child's naptime or after she goes to bed. Somehow you need to give her that attention or it's possible she could revert back to going in her pants just to get the "party time" with you back.

What worked for me when my son was 3 was I had him clean his underpants and pants himself. He HATED doing it! He would cry and whine the whole time. So after 2x, he's never done it again. I got them some of them Kando wipes also so I don't have to stop what I am doing to go wipe them. Huggies now has one also that came out. What is nice is it pops up one at a time so they don't take a whole handfull and clog the toilet up! I told them do one wipe with 2 squares of the toilet paper then use one of theirs. Him and his twin sister do great! They just turned 5 yesterday.