Seeking Help with Boundry & Impulse Issues for 4 Yr Old

You have gotten some great advice but I also wanted to add to look into an occupational therapy evaluation. OTs can help wit these types of issues.

Hi, I don't have much to add other than I agree 100% with the other Moms. My daughter has the same kinds of impluse problems and she just seems full of energy. Yours too, I bet. She is six and is in first grade now. Her teacher this year is wonderful and we did have Eve evulated over the summer so ADHD was not an issue. The teacher this year is much more understanding and she treats each child in her class accordingly. With my daughter is alot of positive reinforcement and reminding of proper behavior. Eve loves her teacher and is really starting to settle into to first grade nicely. Good luck with your daughter. I think as long as you and her teachers are willing to work with her she will be just fine.

Hi, I truly reccommend reading the book "The out of sync child" by Carol Kranowitz and see if that helps you find out more about your child. It sounds like she seeks out sensory input which may have to do with sensory integration disorder, which can be treated with occupational therapy or you can help her yourself using some of the techniques in this book. This book is great in understand children with sensory problems and it will also show you how COMMON it is for children to have these problems (especially very bright or "exceptional" children) but they are often misdiagnosed as ADD, ADHD, autism or other disabilities, or never recognized at all. And just be aware that some doctors and medical professionals DO NOT know about sensory processing disorder. The best thing you can ever do for your child, which you have already done, is admitting there may be a problem and seeking out help instead of denying it, because that will ensure your daughter will get all the help she may need to grow to her full potential. Good luck to you!

Hi K., I hope you get some helpful input. I watch my grandchildren and there is a little girl at the schoolyard who sounds like your daughter. She is 6 now but we have known her since pre-K. Most of the children don't want to be around her and the mom (very young) seems to not notice or ignores the situation. I feel sorry for the child. She is cute as a button, but does not know how to play. My prayers are with you. As a mother of 5, we want the other kids to like ours. Sincerely, Grandma Mary

My son is recently dx ADHD Inattentive which is what you are describing. He has always had small issues with personal space since he was very young and at 7 still does. Sometimes he has to put his hand on the person he is talking to or he can not stop telling you what he has to say until it is all out and he used to have to be in your face to say it. Now he is learning. Kids do tell him to shut up sometimes and sometimes that is what they need to hear too. Whether or not you child is ADD/ADHD I would say this is not unusual behavior for her age in general. At this point consistency. Reminding her of personal space and gently explaining why other kids don't like it when you stand so close to them. It is not something some kids understand overnight. It may take time. It is good that your are aware of the behavior. You may want to note these things to her pedi next time you go.

K. i have one phrase for you; "1-2-3 Magic!" by Dr. Phelan. it is THE BEST behavior correcting system. we use it w our very bright, verbal, explosive 3 yr old w excellent results. buy the book on Amazon and the video if you can afford it, and read it all the way through, follow the system EXACTLY as the book directs and you will get results in 3 days. everyone in your family should use the system, esp her day time caregivers. it will work.

good luck!
J.

I know that there is some type of ADD that relates to impulse control. My daughter isn't quite like yours, but she has a really hard time waiting her turn in class. She always blurted out answers without raising her hand and would run right to the front of the line and cut people off because she always wants to be first. I worked with the preschool and we ultimately got my daughter a SEIT (a classroom aide) through my school district (CPSE). They sat with her for 2 hours a day and just tried to reinforce positive behavior and, by the time she finished preschool, she is now much better with these behaviors. So I agree with the previous poster to work with the preschool and listen to the suggestions they give you. Good luck.

Dear K.,

I own a preschool and I see this all of the time. I am assuming that she is in school if you are working full-time you didn't mention it. If she is have you discussed your concerns with her teacher, or better yet have they approached you with concerns. I would talk to her teacher first and see if it is an issue at school as well or only when she is in new situations. It may be that she just gets so excited to see new playmates and really as you said has trouble controlling her excitement. When I first took over the school I now own, there were four children the former director suggested be tested for this same reason. I talked with each mom who were in tears and asked that they keep their appointments but let my teachers work with them and see what we conclude. With constant reinforcement about personal space and teaching the children to respect that, we have made major strides. All of the children have been tested and results showed no concerns. What I am trying to say is just work with her and have the teachers work with her. Before you go into a social situation when you have her attention get down to her level, have complete eye contact and explain to her in a very loving way that she needs to give personal space and that her friends may not want her to hug them right now. Maybe when she is not in the moment and calm she will understand what you are saying. When she is playing if she becomes excited just casually walk over to her and maybe whisper in her ear and remind her of you conversation. I think so many kids who are just being kids are unfortunately labeled with learning issues and it makes me very sad. Although there are true and unfortunate valid cases of ADD and ADHD, however some preschools make these testing recommendations just because they do not have the tools, or knowledge on how to handle the many different personalities of children. I hope this helps. I also commend you on noticing and wanting to help your child. If there were more parents like you this world would be a much better place. Good Luck!!!!

Hi K.,
ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) is characterized by impulsiveness and inability to control impulses. I think it's great that you are seeking professional/medical help. My daughter was diagnosed ADHD in first grade. She had trouble with the impulse control and some hyperactivity. Not severe by any means. And she could entertain herself nicely. But there were certain things that were problematic. We did behavior mods only, we did not use any medications, and she is a very successful 8th grader now.
She may need discussions before going into social situations with reminders of how to behave. Sometimes role playing can help. When she's in a social setting and is invading space, you (or other adult in charge) needs to step in and have the other child tell her how her actions are making them uncomfortable and you need to let her know how she should behave instead. Just telling them what not to do isn't helpful, they need to know what they should be doing, what the appropriate behavior is
Good luck!