Seeking Help with a Toddler Sleeping Issue

I always suggest ruling out an ear infection or 2-uyear old molars. My kids only had pain when they laid down. However, for us, they would also fall asleep only to wake up in pain throughout the night. So you could try Tylenol and see if that helps.

But actually, it sounds more like what my 16 month old is currently doing. She won't rock and points at her crib and asks to be put down. She closes her eyes, and as soon as we close the door she bellows. If we even peek in, she is immediately quiet. It would be funny if it wasn't such a pain. My older daughter did a similar thing, and it seems to parallel some insecurity/anxiety things (right now, by daughter is afraid of trucks, planes, thunder, strangers, etc).

So, first, I sympathize. Second, I think it is a control issue. It's not that she is being naughty, she is just trying to figure out how to put herself to sleep and she is testing you, wants reassurance that you are still there even when the door is closed. She is just a smart kid who is thinking it through.

I don't have any specific advice. I don't believe in letting them cry endlessly, even at 2. But I do think you have to be "strict." Reassure her, but don't cater to her. Try talking through thte door "Go to sleep" or walk in and say "Close your eyes, night night." But don't pick her up repeatedly. I'm a sucher and will pick her up if I sense she is genuinely frantic. But ever since she was an infant, my daughter seemed to need to whine a little to get herself to sleep. Sometimes my presence is over-stimulating and actually keeps her up.

Son't know if any of this helps, but good luck.

I think she misses you when she is alone in her room and is asking for attention. But she needs to learn that she doesn't need it, because it will keep her awake! So, if she keeps asking for you, tell her that it's quiet time and if she keeps calling you, you will have to close her door tight for a few seconds. I like the checking on in 1, 3, and 5 minute interval idea -- I might try that myself, but the closing door reminder works wonders for me.

If you own your house I would put a dimmer on her light switch and put it at a low setting. Low enough she can fall asleep, but there are no shadows. Both my kids were afraid of shadows at that age. Also start making shadows with her using the sun during the day. Make it a game. Be consistent. Make sure she isn't watching a TV show that is making her afraid of being alone or in the dark (Author--has bad dreams in it and would cause my daughter problems).

The ideas of returning every few minutes works great with girls too. I would definitely try that too. I still use it with my daughter and she will be 4 in Sept.

Hang in there,
R.

She's two yrs old and this is the age where she realizes there is a choice being made about when and how and where she sleeps and well she wants to be part of that choice. She has yet to realize that the choice is not hers. You have to get her to understand that by not letting her have a choice. Stick to your routine. Don't move it a bit, it will take a while but she will come to understand that there are things you have a choice on but this isn't one of them and will give up and go back to her old ways. It may take a while i think my daughter took a few weeks but it's well worth it. She should now sleep well again for a long time with out dealing with this issue again. Good luck

When my daughter was young I would put her to bed and tell her I would be back in 1 minute and I would return in 1 minute. Then I would say I would come back in 3 minutes and return in 3 minutes. Then 5 minutes. I never had to go past the 5 minutes. She only wanted reassurance that I would return and she would fall asleep!

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She's testing. She calls and you respond and she listens to what you say because she sees you'll come. When you don't come it frustrates her, hence the cry. With my son my 'rule of thumb' was in once, out once, ignore. Meaning I would (and will - he's 4 and 1/2 now) go in once if he called me or cried. If he did it a second time I would call to him from outside the room, tell him I'm here but it's time to go to sleep. A third time (and any after that) I would not respond at all unless the cry was an obviously painful or sick cry (which is easy to identify). It works, he realizes if he really needs something I'll be there, but that I won't cater to him if he just doesn't want to go to bed.
Good luck.

I am surprised you didn't go through this with your older daughter. We went through it with our 3 year old when she was about 18 months and than she was fine until about a month ago and she is doing it again. I think it is just their way of testing their limits and seeing how far they can get you to go. The first night of this recent 'bout' she she screamed for an hour, than it has been gradually less till the other night it was one 'My mommy" and nothing. Last night we started over again because she was with a babysitter but I am hoping that was a one off. Reassure her that you love her and will be back in the morning and walk out. Each time you go back in she'll figure out you come back and will keep it up.

Good luck!

Hi L.,

You should have your daughter evaluated for medical issues. Until last week, my 2.5 yo was extremely restless at night for the past 1.5 years. Took her to the doctor and found out she has asthma. Started treatment and we've both slept like babies ever since.

Good luck you you!

L.,
She may be getting more and more aware of her surroundings and things going on and thinking that she is missing something while sleeping so she is fighting sleep. My suggestion is, to continue with your regular routine, and if she cries tell her you'll come back in 5 minutes to check on her. And keep doing 5 minute increments until she falls asleep. She might just need the reassurance that you are still there. Definitely go back in after 5 minutes so she knows you'll keep your word. I wouldn't change your routine except to add the 5 minute check in b/c she's really good at putting herself to sleep and you don't want that to change.

Nightlights can cast shadows which may be a little scary for her, if you think that is the problem, then can you put a regular light on a dimmer switch and leave that on? My hunch is that she isn't afraid of the dark, and she just doesn't want her fun times with you to end.

Best of luck!