Hi everyone. My husband and I found a bigger house for our family to move into. It is literally just down the road from where we are now so it will not be a very big or stressful move. My question/concern is this - our 9yr. old son says he is refusing to move! He wants to find something really sticky to literally stick himself to our present house and not move. This is not our first move with him but it is our first in almost 7 yrs. and this is our first home buy and longest residence with him. We were both in the Army when he was first born. Long story short, we have told him all the good things about moving into this new house (gets to pick his new bedroom, finally put the pool up, bigger yard, etc...) but nothing is getting him to change his mind about staying here, even if me and dad move!! We have both told him that we are moving so he might as well get used to it and he will be moving with us, like it or not. I just want to know if there is something else I can do or say to help him through this transition. Any advice /tip/tricks would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
Well, we moved! He didn't like it much at first but he spent two nights on the couch and then went on vacation with his grandparents for two weeks. When he got back we had everything but the carpet replaced in his room (it is done now!) and he loved it and now spends more time playing in his "brand new" bedroom then he ever did in his old one. He has adjusted to the new house and now loves it and all the yard we have now. He, and our dog, love to go out to the blueberry bushes and "pig out!" LOL! Anyway, thanks to all you great ladies out there who had some pretty insightful advice to lend. It helped so much.
Have you asked him why he wants to stay? Maybe if his feelings and thoughts are recongized and he opens up and talks about it he may feel better about it.
I have a daughter that hates change so I can understand. I think eventually he will adjust but to be patient and understanding is what he probably wants.
Good luck
M., You've probably already done this, but just in case -let him talk about his feelings about the move. Ask him why he wants to stick himself to the house. Then, acknowledge his feelings. Kids need to know that their feelings are heard and acknowledged, even if it doesn't change the situation. He is powerless to change the situation so help him feel like he has control in some area of the move. He'll come around eventually. My daughter has moved four times (different states and countries) in 12 years. Kids are resilient.
I laughed when I read your post. My 9 1/2 yr. old daughter is doing the same thing as your son! We are moving to the next town, which could be only a few miles from our current house. It took us 1 /2 yrs to sell our home so you'd think she'd had enough time to get used to this happening. Now we're moving out in 2 weeks and she's still arguing. I plan on just letting her talk while she helps me pack. She'll cry a lot when we leave. I'll also give her a camera and video to walk around and record her favorite thoughts/memories about places/rooms in the house and yard. I make scrap books so I'll include them in hers.
Anyway, Good luck!!!
If you are moving and he is keeping his friends, his current school, etc. then he shouldn't be acting like that. He is your baby and he is really pushing your buttons. I wouldn't even discuss it any further with him until you have too. If he says something negative, turn it into a positive. Or "Oh my your going to stick your self to the house, what do you plan on using? How are you going to go to the bathroom? Boy dad and I are going to have so much fixing up the new house to how we like it and we really need someone to help us pick things out!" Turn everything into a question so that he has to talk it out, he is at the age where he knows what is realistic and what is not. And you can add about what he is going to miss if he is stuck to the house. You certainly have your hands full!! Good luck with your move!
Hummmm...Who is the parent and who is the child. He's nine!, I hate to sound harsh, but, believe me, he will get over the move. This is a power play on his part, don't let him be the one with the power in the house, you are the parent, the leader. Stop begging him to accept the move. Your moving, that it!!!!
