Seeking Help for Getting My Son on a Regular Eating and Sleeping Routine

I found the book, No Cry Sleep Solution to be helpful. My daughter was still waking 2-5 times at night at 1 year old. Hang in there!

A., I feel for you. The two most stressful issues for parents are sleeping and eating habits. I found two books that saved my sanity for both of these issues. I didn't have the sleep one for my first born and I thought she was colicky. As I read it for my second child I realized that she was overtired! Anyway, the food book is called Super Baby Food by Ruth Yaron and the sleep book is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. They are both very easy to read and easy to understand. Good luck! D.

Maybe consider adding cereal to the breast milk. Start at one feeding only and see if it satisfies his hunger better.

You'll probably get a lot of conflicting advice on this, so take what works for you and ignore the rest of us. My 5 month old is on a schedule now. We started her at about 3 weeks with a very flexible 2 1/2 hour feeding routine during the day. 2 1/2 hours between the start of one feeding to the start of the next. Try to keep him awake for a while after he eats, between a half hour to an hour and then put him down for a nap. Crying it out will NOT hurt your baby, but you don't have to go to extremes on that either. We checked on our daughter every 10-15 minutes when she was crying for naps and eventually she learned to go to sleep all by herself. Look at the book On Becoming Babywise for some more hints, and if that doesn't look good to you, hopefully something someone else has said will. Trust yourself and know that it will get better. It's hard to believe when you're in the midst of the craziness, but it will get better!

Ok, I know someone already suggested this but read the book On Becoming Babywise by Garry Ezzo. Its wonderful and my daughter has been sleeping through the night (8 hours) since 6 weeks old. Now she is 8 months old and sleeps 12 hours a night and has a great nap schedule for the day. The book is all about putting babies on a good schedule for eating, napping, sleeping, etc.... and the advice I can tell you is just be flexible with it. Wake him up to feed him during the day maybe every 3 hours, then when he naps keep things bright and keep it noisy, (t.v,music, talking, whatever) then at night don't wake him to eat, but see how long he will sleep on his own. Also, have an awake time after eating during the day and then let him go to sleep. I highly recommend reading the book though, its very easy and you can probably read it in a day. Letting babies cry it out is not going to hurt them at all, just check on him every 10 minutes or so and see if he will go back to sleep. :) Good luck.

A.,
I have good news and bad news for you. The bad news is that this is completely normal and you might have some more sleepless nights. (I know thats not what you wanted to hear!) Especially since you breastfeed they need to eat more often as their body digests breastmilk so much faster. This is a good thing though! :) Also, 5 hrs is considered all night at my house! Good news - it will end, someday! :) I wouldnt worry about getting him on a strict schedule right now as he is growing and may actually need the food.

Quick tips:
1. Make a distinct difference in how you interact and the atmosphere between day and night. During the day keep lights on (not in bedroom of course), play, talk w/ your baby, etc. At night keep it dark, do not play or interact too much w/ baby as they will learn it is time to sleep and not play. I was told not to turn on the tv or anything else when nursing in the middle of the night...i did, otherwise i would fall asleep and wake up w/ a crooked neck and sore several hours later!

2. Bedtime routine. Bath, book, bed, etc.....

MOST IMPORTANTLY...HANG IN THERE! I'M SURE YOU'RE DOING GREAT! Trust me, I know exactly what you're going through..I have two kids under 2! :) You can do this!

Oh, and this is very hypocritical...but try to get out and spend some time with your husband....i know all you want to do is sleep, but i've heard it helps...again, i'm a hypocrite...i've yet to work this in...let me know if you do! :)

I never had major problems like you describe but here are a few things I did with my kids from about 2 weeks on:

~ Wake him up during the day to eat every 3-4 hrs. if you see he is starting to sleep past feeding time wake him up. If you wake him during the day (but not at night) he will begin to learn the difference between night and day.

~ Don't tip toe around the house during the day. Keep the TV on, radio, laundry, etc... Keep the noise level similar to that if he were awake so that he will learn to nap regardless of the situation. During the night, put a nightlight in his room or something that puts off minimal light. Don't talk to him when he's up during the night, just change, feed, and put him back in bed. This will help him understand that it's not play time. To this day if my daughter wakes up I will rub her tummy/back, giver her a paci and walk out of the room all without turning on a light or talking to her.

~ Start a bedtime routine, ex. bath, lotion, bottle, bed. Kids thrive on a routine and his little mind will know it's bedtime. My 6 year old son still has the same bedtime routine that he had when he was just a few months old (with the obvious changes). My 7 month old daughter could be screaming but as soon as you put her in the bath she is as happy as can be becasue she knows it's bed time!

I hope this will help you a little bit. Best of luck!

i know some peole will reject this but is how i survived. i slept with baby. i learned to nurse in my sleep, not really but it worked for me with 4 of my 6 children. and those four kids i never had bedwetting poblems as they got older, and have been happy fairly well adjusted adults. youngest is now in university and we have good parent to adult thing going. i tryed to never let my children cry, i was not a hippie, but almost. we passed this on to our kids who alsohave a famiybed. and kids move out when they get friends and have sleep overs, this time is such a wonderful time for you and your young man. my mon had told me remember they came from a nice warm place and gradually moving into the world is really gental and nice. a 63 yr old mom and grandmother.

It's normal for your son to eat & sleep as he is. The best thing for him is to feed on demand. Not as convenient as a schedule, but I'm sure you're finding motherhood to be awesome enough to make up for the fact that it's anything but convenient. Try to think of things in terms of routine rather than schedule, it might help.

As for sleep, babies sleep in very short cycles to protect against SIDS. If they sleep too long, too deeply, they may have trouble rousing themselves. A good book for sleep is Elizabeth Pantley's "The No-Cry Sleep Solution." Crying it out causes brain damage on top of emotional/relationship damage, so it's a really bad idea.

I know the early months can be exhausting. If you're not co-sleeping, have you considered it? It can really help a LOT. Feel free to email me for safe co-sleeping ideas if you're interested.

Good luck, & hang in there!

My "baby" is 2 and I still feel sleep deprieved! ha ha!
Start with establishing a bedtime routine, like: bath, low lights and soft voices storytime, last feeding before bedtime, and makeit at the same time each night. When he wakes in the night to eat (and 2 months old still needs the nutrition that frequently, especially breastmilk) don't talk or get playful. Keep it as dark as possible and just feed and change and soothe him back to sleep. In the morning, be sure you give him the daytime clues by opening the curtains at changing time or turning on lights at those "meal times" and watch his cues to catch him alert for playtime. Some people do well on baby time and some need clock time schedules, but what matters here is for you to catch a nap when baby does for a while. Try to give yourself permission to leave the dishes undone for now or whatever so you can take care of yourself. You can't help your baby if you are too tired! And about the time you get the hang of this stage baby will be moving on! It's so exciting and stressfull and we just need to try and live in each moment with our children so we don't miss out. Carry him with you in a snuggli or sling while you do chores and then you can talk to him and get stuff done, too. When naptime comes maybe you can catch an hour or two as well. Enjoy him, A.! My boys are 7,5,and 2...if only I could carry them around all day just once more! :)
P.

Your son has his own schedule - that is the only one you can follow at his young age. Feed on demand - things will get better! Hang in there!

You have gotten some great advice. However, I feel the need to clarify an earlier post. Crying it out does NOT cause brain damage in a baby- what nonsense!! Having said that- your baby is too young for the crying it out method anyway. Babies are not usually ready for a full nights sleep without eating until 4-8 months old- I would not try crying it out until closer to 8 months (if it is even necessary, your baby might just beat you to it and sleep through the night on his own before that!)

Hi A. - This is completely normal for 2 months and he may be going through a growth spurt. I have 2 kids and sleep deprivation lasted some time especially with our first. I even invented a software called Baby Insights that helps you keep track of sleeping, feeding, pumping, etc. It can help you gain insight into his patterns or cues or understand how much sleep he is actually getting. You can try it out for free at http://apps.babblesoft.com/TrialUserForm.aspx. It even works on certain mobile phones and PDAs. If you don't have a mobile, we have custom forms you can download from within the app to jot down info on.

You or your husband can easily set it up and he can help you review reports and graphs!

You can see how it has helped other new parents here: http://www.babblesoft.com/testimonials.php

Our company site is www.babblesoft.com.

Good luck!
A.

Hi A.,

Congratulations on your new little baby boy. I have 2 boys 5 and 14 months and I used Babywise for both. It really works. The basic concept is Eat, Wake, Sleep and being consistent everyday with your schedule. Start your day at the same time everyday. I started at 7 with my youngest and our schedule was 7, 10, 1, 4, 7, 10, 1. At 1:00 a.m. i did not wake him to eat I just let him wake up. At first he woke up every 3 hours but once he made it to 7 then I would start backing up his 1 a.m. and eventually he started sleeping from 10 to 7 and so on. Both my boys really did good. They had a schedule and were happy b/c they knew how their day was going to go. Another good book is Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child. Good luck and hang in there!!!!

K.

i have to say this is normal especially for breast feeding...i am nursing my son as well he is 9 months old when he was that age he woke up alot to...the only suggestion i can say is "Sleep when he sleeps"

baby cereal mixed with breast milk.

At his age, he is going through a growth spurt and wants to eat more. When I worked as a breastfeeding counselor, we would always tell new mommies that they would eat every 1 1/2 -2 hours. It is normal for them to eat more frequently when they go through growth spurts. His age is right when they go through their first one. Be careful about putting them on a strict schedule b/c their little bodies are changing so much, they may not always be hungry at the exact same time.

It is NOT reccommended to give water to them. They will fill up on it and not get the nutrition they need b/c their tummies are so little. I have exclusively breast fed my 5 kids until they were 10 months and never supplemented w/anything including water. My kids are very healthy. The first few months seems like forever, but trust me the time is really short and in a few months, your baby will be a year old and you'll wonder where the time went!

Also, I am not sure where you live, but when it gets hot, don't you get thirsty? Your baby will need to drink more then too. By the way, why are you pumping? Are you preparing for going back to work? If you aren't, you are giving yourself more work to do.

I was always happy when my babies slept 4-5 hours at a time. It is also normal for babies to have an "awake time." Personally, I was happy if it was before they went down for the night b/c it seemed like they slept longer into the night. I would suggest playing w/him to keep him awake a little longer during the day if you want him awake more. 30 mins is a long time for an infant that size. At his age, he still sleeps most of the time wakening just to eat and go back to sleep.

Enjoy him!!!! You won't hardly remember this time b/c it goes so fast! Congratulations!!!

If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask me. I not only worked as a breast feeding counselor, I have nursed my 5 kids for a total of 9 plus years altogether! My youngest is 19 months and the oldest is 9.

Blessings,
M.
Mom to 5 Wonderful Kids
www.4MyChildrenSake.com

Your sleep and your sons is very important for your frame of mind. I used "Solve Your Childs Sleeping Problems" and "On Becoming Babywise" for schedules. My children were MUCH happier as a result of following these principles.

L.

Sounds like he's pretty normal to me. Breastmilk is digested in an hour and a half or less. He may also be going through a growing spurt. At this age I wait to feed the baby until the baby is really crying. IF he's just fussy he MIGHT go back to sleep. IF he is really crying, go ahead and feed him. If you do this every night he should start sleeping 5 or more hours at a time most nights within the next couple of weeks. Every child is different, but this is what worked for me!

I learned how to nurse while lying down as well able to catch a snooze while nursing- that was a life saver!

S., mom to four girls ages 12 months to 5 years.

I don't have much advise but just wanted to share that I am going through the EXACT same thing. My son is 2-1/2 months old and I am also breastfeeding/pumping. He slept for like 5 hours at night 2-3 times since he was born. He also seems to sleep better through the day. I am begining to think it has to do with the noise. Maybe during the day with all the daily noises he sleeps better but at night it is so quiet so the slightest thing wakes him up...I don't know I'm just thinking that. I am thinking about trying one of those white noise makers to see if it helps him sleep better. He also has starting using my breast as more of a pacifier at night than anything which is very frustrating. He will eat just enough to get himself back to sleep and then if I try to lay him down he wakes up. I have tried waking him up fully before letting him eat but it doesn't help. Anyways I am just rambling but just wanted you to know you aren't alone out there. I am going through the same thing. My older son did the same thing when he was younger but did finally start sleeping though the night....I just wish I could remember when!! Good luck and please let me know if you have any luck getting him to sleep better cause I would love to try something!

I used a book titled "On Becoming Babywise" when my children were infants. It is available on Amazon.com. It was very helpful to me. My daughter had her days and nights mixed up. During the day, I would play with her with the lights on right after she ate. I tried to extend the amount of time that she stayed awake during the day. Just a little bit more each day after each feeding. I wrote down her schedule each day so I would remember what I did the day before. At night, I would feed her in the dark and rock her back to sleep based on the timetable suggested in the book. It has been 10 years so I don't remember the details too well. These first months are difficult but will be over so soon.

Ditto on baby whisperer. I wish I had used it when my daughter was that age. Yours does not sound unusual to me. Good luck!

At two months my son was still waking up all the time to eat. He was around 7 1/2 months before he started going to bed at 9 and now is 8 pm exactly. I think this was because he started moving a lot more and would tire himself out. Before then he was falling asleep around 11 or later and I would run to bed exhausted. So I think your lil' guy is pretty normal. Hang in there. I almost hesitate to write this (since we can't get him out of our bed now) but I learned to nurse him while lying down and we would sleep almost the whole night. Sometimes I would wake up in a panic about where he was and he would be right there nursing away so I could sleep pretty well. Just burp him if you do this.

A.,

the general idea is that for one: Babies who sleep five to six hours at night is considered sleeping through the night. Two: Babies usually do not sleep through the night until around 3 months. I know we've all heard about women who had perfect angel babies who sleep through the night at only a few weeks. I'm sure their memory is not accurate. Our daughter ate every three hours and she was formula fed. But magically when she turned three months she started sleeping for 8-9 hours at night.

I would just tell you to hang in there a little longer, it does it better.

Everytime I would complain about having to keep getting up, my husband would just remind me to enjoy it, because they grow up so fast and thinking about that did help. I would sit there exhausted, just watch her eat with her beautiful eyes closed and tell myself. These days fly by so fast. She'll be walking before I know it and that did make it a little easier to bear.

Good luck Mommy, you're almost there!!!!

I had the same problem and it turned out my son was not getting enough milk form breatsfeeding. His ped. told me to switch him to formula mixed with breat milk. Slept through the night the 1st time! Talk to his doctor and see what he says.

Hi A.,
I would recommend, "The Secrets of the Baby Whisperer," by Tracy Hogg. I read this book a few months ago, and my son ( 4 months 4 weeks) has been sleeping and napping so much better. It is a great book, with tons of great info. Sleep is very important, but I was doing things all wrong (the way my mom, and sister recommended).
I'm so glad that I read this book, and worked with my husband to work on his sleeping, and teaching him to be a self soother. You just need to teach him to put him self to sleep, and this is outlined so well in the book. Your son will soon be sleeping better, I promise!

He is too young to go so long (overnight) without a feeding. He sounds totally normal! A baby's tummy is usually too tiny at this age to go so long without a feeding.
Why do you need to have him on a schedule? Says who? He needs time to grow bigger before he can do things like go for 8 hours a night sleeping/without eating or even think about a schedule. Have you read any Dr. Sears books? He is a pediatrician who has 8 children and understands how it is with little ones. Another book is by Dr. Paul Fleiss. Both should be available through your local library. Nap when your baby naps, he will adjust but he definitely is going to need time!!
I have 5 children, when they were tiny they slept in bed with us and nursed as they pleased. They are all healthy normal independent young people now.

Go by the book Babywise. My daughter is 4 months old and has been on the Babywise schedule since she was born. I promise it works. She has been sleeping thru the night since she was 8 weeks.

Along with doing Babywise, try swaddling.

A., this worked for me both times. During the day when he is napping, keep him out with you in a sunny room. Don't regulate the noise, keep the day going full-throttle. At night, no nonsense. When he wakes up, don't turn on the lights (keep a night light). Change the diaper in the dark, if you have to, no play time, not talking. Feed, go to sleep. Don't listen to anyone if they tell you that supplementing with baby food will help (or formula, heaven forbid!) I breastfed both of them for almost a year, but they slept 5-6 hours per night by 2 and a half months, because DAY IS DAY and NIGHT IS NIGHT, and they are different. It really worked!

Hang in there! The good news is that this stage is temporary.

Hi A.!
My little girl is turning a year on Sunday but it was just like yesterday I remember what you're going through.
Her pediatrician said every 3 hrs is normal for a baby, until she's about 3 months of age. My little one didn't start sleeping through the night til about 3 1/2 months.
Whenever your son wakes up, when it's not feeding time, give him water. He'll realize that the water isn't his milk and he'll lose interest in taking it til his normal time. But you have to keep the 3 hr schedule.
I kept the 6, 9, 12, 3, 6, 9 routine for at least 3 months. Then you can stretch it out to every 4 hours apart. And its common for babies to confuse daylight with nightime because he's getting the feedings he doesn't need at night. ONce my little one started sleeping through the night, I'd wake her up at 6am still, but wouldn't let her go back to sleep until about 10am and only for about 1-2hrs. Then she'd be awake til about 2pm and sleep til about 4pm and that would be the last nap until bedtime.
BUt like I said, you've gotta wait. He'll tell you when he's ready to sleep through the night. I, too, was irritable and cranky for those months and wanted the regular bedtime routine. BUt because they're so small, they have no concept of time, so you have to teach them.
Try the water when it's not a feeding time, trust me, it works.
The other thing, the big thing, is to start him on Rice Cereal..just a tbsp, that's all. Put it in his milk. It'll fill him up. BUt ask the pediatrician first. But that's what ours said. About the 3 months mark we started giving it to her, and she slept 6-7 hrs the first night. So it'll be touch and go for the first few nights, but once he realizes that he's getting something substantial at night, he'll be more apt to sleeping longer. And once it's okay'd by the Ped. start him with a tbsp of rice cereal in his milk in the morning too.
Hope this helps. I know I was all over the place, but all you need to do is get through the next month. Good luck and Congratulations on your new baby boy!

This is very normal for this age. Basically babies at this age eat, sleep, poop. Every once in a while they give you a coo to remind you how rewarding all the hard work is. Breast milk gets processed faster so they eat more often than formula fed babies (usually, every baby is different.)

Also, do not give a baby this young water. Unless your pediatrician advises you to.
The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) says, "Supplements (water, glucose water, formula, and other fluids) should not be given to breastfeeding newborn infants unless ordered by a physician when a medical indication exists... During the first 6 months of age, even in hot climates, water and juice are unnecessary for breastfed infants and may introduce contaminants or allergens."
Summary of AAP report on Oral Water Intoxication in infants. In recent years, hyponatremic seizures resulting from water intoxication have been reported in the United States with an increasing frequency that some have likened to an epidemic.1 Infants of parents living in poverty and uninformed of the risks of feeding fluids other than infant formula to their babies are particularly at risk.1 Young infants with vomiting and diarrhea are especially prone to developing hyponatremia if fed fluids lacking sufficient sodium, but even those who are otherwise well may develop symptomatic hyponatremia as a result of being fed excess solute-free water. Most often tap water, either in the form of supplemental feedings or overly dilute formula, has been given in excessive amounts over relatively short periods of time.1,13 Less frequently, water in other forms such as juice, soda, or tea has been implicated.12,16 This report includes the cases of two infants treated at our institution for hyponatremic seizures and water intoxication after being fed with the same bottled drinking water product marketed for use in infants. The medical records of all infants <= 1 year of age admitted to our institution over 10 years with the diagnosis of hyponatremic seizures were also reviewed.
Read more here http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/10...

I didn't want to say "you shouldn't do x" just because I say so. It is important to know the why's and when's.

This is a phase and it will pass. Nap when baby naps that is most important. And honestly if you don't have to pump then don't. If pumping gets to be too much, you aren't evil if you supplement with formula. If you are a SAHM (I didn't see that) it is not like baby will be very far from you all that often. Good luck.

Our pediatrician had us waking our babies up during the day and letting them go at night. We would keep a regular routine during the day (6, 9, 12, etc.) and it worked for us. My oldest slept 8 hour stretches at 10 weeks and our second slept through at 3 weeks. Yes, we did try the water thing with our second because there were a couple of nights that he'd wake up every 2 hours but all it took was two bottles of water and he was back to sleeping longer.

You're tracking how much your baby eats and that's great. Your pediatrician will let you know how much baby needs to eat in 24 hours so as long as he gets it, he's soiling the right number of diapers and he's gaining wait at a consistent rate, then you're ok.

Besides keeping activity levels different between day and night, you will also want to make sure you have a set bedtime routine. Our doctor said bath, reading, infant massage are all great. We would bathe them, read for a good long while, sing bed time songs and then put them to bed.

Hi A.,
Boy do I remember going through that. The good thing to remember is it won't last forever!
I recommend getting a book called "The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems" by Tracy Hogg. She is amazing! She has tips in there on how to get your baby into a good routine, that will help with feeding & sleeping. It's also good for you b/c you will feel a little more in control and know what should be happening next. I started my son on this when he was about 6 weeks.
I wish you luck - cherish this time, as it goes by so quickly!!!

Hi A.,

When our son was born (2003) we used a book called On Becoming Babywise. It really helped us with feeding and sleeping schedules. Our son was sleeping through the night (8 hours between feedings at night) by 3 months old.

I'm due in July with a girl and I plan to use it again.
Hope this helps.

J.

As someone else mentioned, try reading the book "On Becoming Babywise". It helped me to get all three of my boys to sleep through the night (10:00 pm - 5 am) by the time they were 9-10 weeks old. I think one of the keys is to keep your baby awake for a few minutes after feeding instead of letting him nurse himself to sleep every time. If you nurse him to sleep every time you are causing him to associate eating with going to sleep. The cycle should be sleep, eat, awake. I know it is difficult to keep a newborn awake after they eat, but start with 5 minutes and work your way up. The time you spend working to keep him awake will pay off in the end.
Good luck! Enjoy him as much as you can. This time will pass before you know it.

Check out the Babywise book, some people like it, others don't. I love it and started it when my son (now 6 months old) was a month old. The basic jits is: sleep, eat, wake, sleep, eat , wake. You have to be a schedule/routine person to do it (children love routines).
Sounds like your baby is going through a growth spurt, he will eat every 2 hours on a growth spurt. It is exhausting but you can do it! I stopped middle of the night feedings when mine was a month and he did fine. I fed him at 11:00 PM (nursed) and then again about 5:30 or 6:00 AM. It worked for us, but might not for you.
I tell ya what else works...swaddle! We swaddled when it was naptime and bedtime, my son still likes to be swaddled at 6 months. Hang in there!

I recommend the book Baby Wise. I LOVED it. The techniques got my daughter on a regular feeding schedule immediately and she was sleeping through the night, 8 hours, by the time she was 3 months old.
I could actually plan my days because I knew her schedule.

Check it out!
Best of luck,
S.

"the secrets of the baby whisperer" by Tracey Hogg. Read it, read it, read it and follow it. I have done this "routine" with all of my three kids (the youngest being 2 months old as well) and if you follow it, it works. You can usually find this book for cheap at half price books or even online. It really has made things sooooo much easier. Good Luck!