A.J.
I don't really know about programs for your son, but I have some advice for preparing him at home.
I have three kids. 2 boys and 1 girl. My daughter is the youngest and she is spoiled by our families and friends. She started to think the universe revolved around her. We were supposed to be her for her every desire! Had to nip that one quick!
First, the daycare staff should know better!!!!! If they are spoiling him, you need to sit down with the director and come up with a plan for how you want your child raised. Being a single mom and working, the daycare counts as a second parent and should act as such.
Second, tell your family and friends the same thing! If they love you and your son, they will understand and give you that respect!
And last, when you are at home with him, talk with him about his boundries. He needs to know that life doesn't actually work this way. He's not always going to be the cute little boy. He will grow up and no one will spoil him then!
I was a single mom for three years, and know how hard it is to find that balance between daycare, school and home.
My daughter is 5 now and will be starting school this fall. I decided last year that she would be at "mommy school". This is when I taught her the basic tools she would need for school. Things like : schedules, eating lunch in a timely manner, abc's, writing... Mind you, I'm a stay at home mom now and have the time for that. I think it would be important for you to work with him at home with some of that (what ever you feel is the most important for him to learn), but also have the daycare work with him on those things. If your daycare does not listen to you or say they cannot preform those tasks, find a new daycare! (I know a lot in your area!) If it's a national chain, call their corporate parent!
I know your son is going to make it big in this world! It seems to me that mom's who are concerned about raising their children right, tend to have better kids who love them and are productive in the world. Keep it up. We need more parents like that! It's not a matter of being single and working or married and at home... it's a matter of attention and love. You obviously have both for your son!
Let me know if the daycare helps or if you need to find one. Good luck and God bless!
~A. J.