Seeking Advise on "Potty Training" 3 Yr Old.

Hi sounds frustrating! I have 3 children and my first 2 were very different. My son finally started going potty on his 3rd birthday party but everytime we put a pull up or even underwear we were running into the same things as if he were in diapers. So we let him go completely w/o underwear and eventually once he didn't have the feeling like it was his diaper or pull-ups or underwear he did it. Also when I was potty training my daughter we pretty much had to do the same thing! But when they are ready they will do it too. Hope this helps!

My three year old just decided to potty training a week after her birthday. We did incentives:

* peeing she got five smarties or mini-M&M's
* wrapped some inexpensive gifts and put in a small basket...this was our "poop in the potty presents" both my girls like this. It did take them about six months to really care, but once they got the first gift...it was on.
* make sure she is prepared for the whole process first: undress on own, climb on potty on own, get off potty and redress all independent of any help. The other will come. Once I took the pressure off and realized God has called me to just 'love' this child whether she was potty trained or not, and not to stress so much about this issue, it seemed to go much faster.

I read to keep in diapers until they are dry for two weeks.. then move to panties. This was good since it relieved stress on accidents and any negative interactions (even though I do strive to remain positive...I am sure some negative body language or something would be perceived).

She will train...be gracious to yourself and her.

S.,

Don't give up. Always be reassuring. Have you tried stickers to put on her hand or hand stamps as a reward for going potty? My daughter, now 5 had the hardest time pooping at 3 as well. It scared her. Is the 9 yr old a girl and if so let the 3 yr old watch her potty if she does not mind. It will show her that nothing happens to you to poop. Show her how the poop flushes down the toilet. Some of us learn verbally, some visually and some both. I admire you for loving those children as your first set. Blessings...

with my son i used skittles. everytime he went to the bathroom i gave him 1 skittle. i chose skittles because i had never given him candy and being that skittles were made with fruit juice i chose those as a bribe. he enjoyed the skittle so much that he would make himself go just to get a skittle and i only gave it to him when he actually went into the pot. this process only took us 1 week and he was a pro.

my daughter was even easier, someone gave me a vcr tape called "its potty time" this tape has plenty of singing which my daughter loves to do. so, she was off and going on her on within a week or less.

I agree that when they are ready, they will do it. I found that for us, it became a power struggle. When I quit pushing, he kind of took the reins from there. We were having issues with only wanting to poop in the diaper, but peeing in the potty. We sat down and brainstormed ideas on what we could do. I accepted any and all ideas from both he and myself. After all ideas were written down, we went back through the list and crossed off ones that were not acceptable to both of us. At the end of our discussion, we had a mini-contract. His reward was a jelly bean after pooping in the potty and a sticker. After 5 stickers, he could choose to go and spend as much time looking at Petsmart or the toy store. After about 3 potty charts, he no longer asked for the sticker. The first 3 days, he whined that he wanted to poop in the diaper. I reminded him of our contract, and got him to go in the potty. After those three days, he then would say he needed to poop in the potty. We haven't had any problems since then. It sounds as if this is a control issue for her, especially if there is some turmoil going on. My friend had the same issue with her 3 year old when she and her now ex-husband were going through their divorce. She just put him back in diapers until he asked to be put back in underwear. Good luck!

Hello S.,

I use to work in a daycare classroom of 14 2 year olds. It could be that the whole process is scaring her. Amazingly it does scare alot of young children to poop. Have you talked to the doctor about this child. There maybe something wrong as well. Not to scare you but my goddaughter is 10 and still is not potty trained due to a medical condition. She has Hypermobility Syndrome and it effects the bladder. She can not hold it nor does she even know when she is going as she does not feel the wetness. I would just keep on going on the hour and hopefully she will get it if the doctor has nothing to say. It could be a problem due to her life as well. I do not know if you have the children or if the parents live with you. I am a foster mother and I know first hand if there is a missing parent that it can cause loads of problems including regression. Lots of luck

J.

This is solely based on what you said. :) Plus, sounds like you have ALOT of experience with little ones, what a neat grandmother! She sounds like she is afraid of it. My daughter tinkled in the potty fine because she hated getting wet and dirty. Typical of little girls, but your little one sounds like she is afraid now to do both. However to make it not scary - which might have become scary due to anything that has happened around it. My daughter had to go on the potty because we were somewhere out and with no diaper. I had to put her on the potty and she held my neck and pushed. She did it and I talked her into doing it that way again and again and then the joy of doing it overwhelmed the fear and not wanting to do it. Just an idea. :) Hope it goes okay!
S.

During my son's 3rd and 4th year of life was not very much fun with regard to pooping in the potty. I tried everything.
I was told by nurses and pediatrician that when he is ready, he will do it. No amount of bribing would help. They were right. When the child is ready, they will do it. Unfortunately, that means keeping them in pull-ups until they
are ready! Good Luck and be patient!