Seeking Advise on 18 Month Old Crying and Yelling in the Middle of the Night

If you want it to stop, don't reinforce it. Giving her the paci and/or taking her into your bed reinforces the behavior. If you really want it to stop, leave her alone and let her learn to get herself back to sleep.

I have read that some kids wake up in the middle of the night because of acid reflux. The stomach acid goes into the esophagus when they lie down and it burns. Unfortunately, I don't remember how to treat it. I would call your daughters pediatrician for some advice to help it.

The same thing happened with my daughter (she's 17mo's). Make sure that she's not sick, hungry or too hot or cold. Be sure to keep a routine (or set a routine if u have not done so). Take time to play with her, bath her, give her a bottle, read a book and then put her to bed and step out of the room quickly (no long goodbyes). If everything is fine as it was with my daughter, I would suggest going in to the room laying her back down and tell her softly that everything is o.k while rubbing her back, then step out of the room. My daughter only jumped out of the crib once in the middle of the night but I guess she was too scared to do it a second time. DO NOT take her out of the crib or start putting her in bed w/u, she's getting the signal that when she cries u will take her out. I did not stay in the room until she fell asleep again because I did not want her to get used to that. It will be difficult at first but each day she will cry less until she becomes comfortable again. It really worked for me (There's also good tips in "What to Expect the Toddler Years") Hope things work out. Hang in there.

My daughter was falling out of her crib (2+ years old) (it was converted into a daybed at that point) and it scared her very much. She would be asleep and then fall out of bed. She didn't know what hit her and she would yell for me each time and come running out. We drilled holes in the wood to put a rail in and it took care of the problem. This may not relate to your situation but I thought I would put it out there anyway.

Other than that, does your daughter have a soothing sound machine on her crib she can turn on when she wakes to help her soothe herself back to sleep? And a bright night light in her room? Enough blankets? If she has all of those things maybe she is just doing it because she can? Maybe if you stop responding she will stop trying? (i know this is very hard if she seems scared) One thing that helped us is not waiting until she is completely asleep to leave the room. We get her nice and relaxed and sleepy and then leave. Ultimately she has to be able to get herself to sleep. If you let her sleep with you I feel(just an opinion!) that it takes away from their feeling of independence and therefore esteem.

Good luck!

My 17 mos old (who slept thourgh the night since 9wks old) started waking up for an hour or so - crying, yelling, tossing, turning, etc- each night. We discoverd that he was scared of a movie that my 3 1/2 yr old liked. We thought it was harmless, but realized he would be afraid during one part of it. Once we stopped with the movie, he slept peacefully.

Hello S.,

Have you read 'Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child' by Dr. Weissbluth? It's somewhat controversial and some parts are a bit extreme, at least from my parenting style (I have 1 year old twin girls), however I found some helpful information, especially that which pertained to sleeping through the night. The best advice he gave was to put our girls to bed earlier. They, too, were waking in the middle of the night screaming. We were putting them to bed at 7 pm. Since the first night we put them to sleep at 6, they have slept through with no waking spells until 6 am. His theory is sleep begets sleep and it's true - they even sleep better during the day for their naps. The other thing that might be relevant for you is to not go into her so quickly. If you're afraid she might fall out of the crib again, you might consider a crib tent. I hope this helps!

R.

Sounds to me like it could one of 2 things or both. Either she isn't feeling well or she is acting like a typical 18 month old.

First of all I want to clarify night terrors which my son suffers from. Night terrors happen within 2-3 hours after falling asleep. If your child is having one you cannot wake or comfort him/her. They can last for a few minutes or 30 minutes. And experts say the child will not remember having one. These happen to my son when he misses a nap and is over-tired.

So with what you described, it does not sound like a night terror to me.

1 year old children typically test their parents during the wee hours. There are so many new things that she is learning throughout her day that she is testing them at night i.e. control, independence, cause & effect. Separation anxiety which first rears its ugly head around 9 months comes back after a child has turned 1. This could be it too.

My advice is that if she is not sick than you need to be consistant with how you get her back to bed in a manner you are willing to live with for a while. If you do not want her sleeping in your bed than don't put her in there to get her back to sleep. Again, it certainly is ok if she is sick. I always bring my baby into bed with me when he hurts.

Continue what you are doing. Go to her but without much stimulation. No communication, very little if any eye contact, keep the lights off - perhaps have a bathroom or hall light on so you can at least see a little bit, give a pat, turn on music, say a quick good night and get out. Repeat when necessary and make each subsequent visit less appealing for your daughter. I don't mean to get angry but use a firmer tone of voice when saying good night. Make your visits shorter. She will cue into your body language. She will know that you are there for her, that you love her, but you are not gong to hang out and play.

I used to stay with my first until she fell asleep holding her hand, stroking her head and then sneaking out, but in retrospect and 2 other kids later i realized I would have caught up on my sleep had I followed the above advice I just gave you and got out! You've got 3 other kids who need you at your best the next day so you need the rest.

Perhaps you could either transition her to a toddler bed if you are worried about her getting hurt by jumping out or keep her crib rail lowered so she won't have to jump so far.

Good luck. I know it is a challenge.

A.

Dear Shelia,
What's so terrible about kids in your bed? I have 4 kids as well - 18, 16, 14, and 11. Sometimes - especially if you are not around during the day - they need a few cuddles during the night. I have been married 29 years, have a great relationship with my husband, and with my children. Life goes by too fast and they will be big and asking for the car keys before you know it and not to come into your bed. The key is that you all need a good nights sleep. How you achieve that it up to you.

It's not night terrors if she's awake. My son had them at about 9 mos and one of the definite things that defines them is that the kids don't wake during the whole thing. It sounds more like a nightmare, but they typically don't start until after they turn 2. Try monitoring what she watches during the day and don't let her watch anything to scary.