Dear E.,
Reading your note, I remember a friend from elementary school. By today's standards, she was pudgy. But as she neared Junior High, the baby fat wore off and she has been a nice, normal size ever since. Ironically, I was slim as a bean pole until I hit Junior High when the weight caught up to my height. Bad eating habits were the death of my slim figure, something I still have to work hard at reining in.
I tend to also worry about underlying health issues and have struggled with my doctor's seeming indifference to worrisome issues. You might also want to test for Lyme Disease-- this can manifest itself in diabetic-like symptoms, a feeling of hunger despite eating a lot, and inflammation of body tissue which can make the victim appear fat.
Yet, having said all this, our society is so focused on weight-- to the point of paranoia. The fact is that some children seem pudgier than others. It seems their build and make-up. Certainly, in today's anxiety over weight, this will create issues at school. Children love to tease other children, and this can hurt a lot at times. But don't feed into that fear. Talk to her about her weight in affirming, but not denial-ridden ways.
Ask her why she feels fat? Ask her if other children make remarks or act in some way that makes her feel fat. Ask if she feels any attitude towards her at home about the weight issue. Then explore those issues-- what might she say or do in response to teasing that might help the situation? What kinds of activities might she get involved in (like dance or gymnastics or swimming...) which might help her body slim down and firm up a bit?
How are her eating habits other than being hungry a lot? what kinds of foods is she eating? If she's eating a lot of processed foods or foods rich in sugars and carbs then she probably is hungry an hour later. Try adding in foods which stick to one's stomach like peanut butter on a banana, or cream cheese on celergy between meals. Make finger foods available that are healthy, like cut up vegetables, lots of different fruits, grapes, cherry tomatoes. Limit deserts until after meals or something. Add in heart foods like kidney beans, lentils, soups and fiber rich foods like shredded wheat cereals which are nutritious and filling.
Honestly, you sound like a nice family. Trust yourselves to raise a good, healthy daughter. Stop worrying about if she is fat or not, do the medical tests and research possible activities, but also allow yourself to simply love her as she is. She will grow up all too fast and then this time will seem just a phase in the memory book. Whatever happens-- don't let society make you see your daughter as anything less than your special child and the love of your life.
God Bless,
S.