L.M.
Dear A.,
"The No-Cry Sleep Solution" is an amazing book which will help you with this situation! Please get a copy ASAP! The author, Elizabeth Pantley, who is a mom of four, has a website (www.pantley.com). Her e-mail is ____@____.com and she will e-mail you if you write to her for help. Her suggestions do work and do not involve letting your son cry alone and feel abandoned.
I did not use a pacifier for my baby; she's a blanky baby. I don't advocate of taking away comfort objects from little ones. Personally I'd rather have her feel secure with a transitional object of her choice than feel anxious or replacing it with behavior or an object that is harmful. I just make sure we have lots of her favorite blankies around.
She'll move on when she's ready. My stuffed kittycat is still in my bedroom and I had a hard time when I quit smoking in 1990, so I don't really feel I'm qualified to preach about the evils of comfort objects!
Best wishes,
L. M.
Novato