Seeking Advise About Child's Education

You need to have them do their homework with the afterschool daycare. They are way too tired to get anything from the homework if they do it late in evening. If they were coming home and resting and relaxing before doing homework, that's another story, but kids run around and play in the afterschool care. Have them do their home and then show it to you when yall get home. They can do it! You need to let them know it's not an a choice, you don't have a choice in going to work and working till 5, they don't have a choice. You'll be teaching to be hard workers and to be committed. Depand it, expect it and when they do it, reward them!

I would see if the provider will have them do it there before they play. Most will gladly do this. Also as a teacher I will give the children/parents the weekend to do it if requested. Some days are so packed that the weekends work better for families to complete homework together without the stress and fights. Ask the teachers for this option to see if it works better!

Hello,

Just a few suggestions. Make a game out of homework. Use rewards/treasure box/activity coupons for finishing promptly, getting started before you get home, and not fussing. You can create a point system. The sisters might compete against each other and it would be a benefit. The part about your 6 year old wanting you to stand by her, I think that is an age thing. My daughter does that sometimes. (age 7) She also maybe craving attention and feels more secure with you standing next to her. I think if you explain to the girl's that homework is a must and we are all tired. Set some ground rules and be enthusiastic. You may want to have a night of commentating the homework brigade. Something like, Oh, we have one math problem completed only 8 more and we all get to play a game or you earn 9 points on your completion chart. I'm just coming up with this off the top of my head. My daughter does not have homework every night. Good luck.

Why do they not do their homework in after care?

Is it possible for a high school student to stay with the girls after school instead of going to the after school program??? They would be at home with someone able to do homework with someone over them we hope and more relaxed away from the noise etc of the after school program. They would be able to get the rest they need for the next day. If you have a church that you attend check with some of the students that are there to see if they can help. Good luck...

It seems like your children are simply exhausted. I don't know the details of your family, so my comments are more general, not specific to you... But, when both parents work (for whatever reason, need or want), the bottom line is your family time (ie, your children) are going to struggle on some level (ie, tired, exhausted children). Are your kids getting 10 -11 hours of sleep EVERY evening? That's what they need. You have them on an adult's schedule, not a child's schedule. They have plenty of time afterschool to do their work, somehow work to get that time used solely for homework and 'checked' before they have dinner. After dinner, give them 1 hr or 2 at most to relax and be a kid, and then off to bed. Your words SAY "education is important" but your actions (and the schedule of your children) don't line up with your words.

M. M-
I have similar priorities as you do. Education is number 1. I have an 11 year old son and in order for him to do anything outside of school he has to get his homework done. He loves sports and is totally motivated to be a professional athlete. He is not allowed to play, go to practice or tv or anything before homework is complete. I know that I will have a huge fight on my hands if I allow anything prior. So the rule at our house is homework first. When my son was in daycare, I worked with the provider to make sure that he had time to do homework. He was not allowed to tell them he didn't have any. They would give him worksheets and other stuff to do if he truly didn't have any homework (which was rare). Your kids have very long days for their ages, especially if the 10yo is in school for 9 3/4 hours. Most adults cannot handle working that long. My son requires huge amounts of sleep because of the level of activity he has during the day. Are your girls getting enough sleep? Lastly, don't get me started on the teachers not teaching and us parents having to re-teach everything. I spent an hour with my son explaining fractions to decimals. He's been working on it in school for a month and it didn't click until I worked with him one-on-one for his test. Have you spoken to the school about how much homework they're getting? When my son was 6 he would get a page or maybe two and some spelling words. If the curriculum is too demanding, it would be way better for your girls to take a step back. The constant battles at home and the perceived intelligence level at school can be harmful. Better for their fragile egos to get all As on easier less demanding work than significantly lower grades on work that is too demanding. I made that choice this year for my son. I had to pull him from GATE level classes so he could succeed. The curriculum, while age appropriate, was too demanding. Only 2 or 3 of the kids in the class were getting "passing" grades. Everyone else was getting below 60%. Please use your knowledge and love for your darling girls to make the best decision for them. They are too young to get discouraged about school (and life).
S.

Something I have tried and didn't work well (for us) was offering an afternoon snack after homework. My boys get home straight after school (luckily I have an 8-3 work day) and, as it turns out, a little afternoon snack helps them focus better for their homework. Also, I have been told by the doctor(s) that using food as a reward can have damaging effects later in life (refusing to eat because they don't "deserve" it, eating too much because they crave the sweets, or other stuff).

Something I have tried that works pretty well is stating that the TV doesn't come on, the Nintendo DS stays off, etc until they show me their completed homework. Now, I have to remind my 5th grader that "doing" his homework doesn't mean he has to complete four-days-worth of homework all in one day and help him set up goals and deadlines for stages of projects he is assigned.

I didn't notice, until I read another response, that you mentioned after-school care (kidz club or whatever). You might ask about what they can do to help out in the homework area.

Hope this is what you are looking for.

D.

Well, don't feel guilty this is a problem all of us working moms with school age children have. There is only so much time in one day, we have to work. This is something that Sylvan Learning Center does, there is a huge display of toys and nutritious type treats the children can buy with CHIPS. The chips are like money or tokens, and it really seems to help give the kids (also worn out from school) some incentive to do there best. The more chips the child has the cooler stuff they can buy.

Hire a college student to pick them up from school and watch them and monitor homework. Ten dollars an hour is good.

Sounds like your kids have a really, really long day. Hopefully, the homework can be done before you get home. If not, stop doing it with them! Tell them that you want to have fun with them (monopoly, candyland, a story) so you and they each have to get your chores done. You put in a load of wash, start dinner, they finish their homework. That way they get mom but they don't hold you hostage to their homework.
I let my kids do or not do their homework and take the consequences. All 3 are out of college. 2 went to Ivy League schools.
I was (and am) always teaching kids. If something mystifies them then spend time teaching it, but if it wasn't taught, the only way the teacher knows that is if the majority of the kids come in with the homework done incorrectly. No?
Good luck with it, it ain't easy.
K.

For your youngest: An after school program that includes assistance and monitoring for completing homework before going home will help. Or working with your current afterschool provider to have yr daughter at least complete some of it before going home.
For your 10yr old: if she is in academic time til 5pm there should not be much homework being sent home. An incentive to complete work at school or a restriction for not completing work or homework could work. And the natural consequences of not doing homework or of not doing it well is they fail---and they learn for themselves they can perform well and win or perform poorly and fail (not that she is a failure, just failing to perform). I allowed my girl, after a whole year of special help and coaching at age 13, to fail, and she never did again, because she got her own natural consequences---having to repeat, being left behind by her friends. It doesn't affect their standing in preeparation for college. Some older schoolers are not mature or responsible for their only "job", which is school.