Seeking Advice - Removing Daughter from Childcare Short Term

Hi L.,

I would tell grandma that she can have 2-3 days a week with your daughter, but that she NEEDS to remain in daycare for multiple reasons.

The first is the whole change in routine issue. A child at 1 year old is very sensitive to changes in routine. To do that to her twice in 2 months is not good. You need to be thinking about the well-being of your daughter. Just because grandma wants to spend time with her does not mean that is the best thing for her.

The second is that her daycare is a school, not a babysitter. The whole time she is playing, she is learning. You know that grandma will be good with her, but grandma is no pre-school teacher. Point out all the things that your daughter can do, that she would not have been able to learn had she not gone to daycare.

And, finally, is logistics. If you remove your child from the daycare center, you might loose her spot. You would also, most likely, have to pay the registration fee again, and start all over (her spot would most likely be given up to someone on the waiting list). To make sure that she does not loose her spot, you would probably have to continue paying tuition. I don't know about you, but if I was paying +/- $100 a week, I would sure a heck want to send my child to school at least a couple of days a week. If grandma wants more time with your daughter, ask if your daycare would be open to grandma helping out in your daughter's room.

I hope you find this helpful. As you can tell, I have had to go through a similar situation.

Good luck.
T.

If your 9 month old gets out of the habit of daycare she may face sep anxieties after 2 mos when you return her. Babies and children need routines to feel most secure. Even as opposed to 2-3 complete days home or out, I would suggest mornings at daycare and afternoons home or vice versa so that she maintains a regular daily schedule. Children who are at home all the time only experience delays if their caregiver does not play with them. If your mother in law wants to just watch her, neither of them will benefit as much as if she joins in, actively engaging in age appropriate play. If you are at a good daycare do not risk loosing your spot. If you do give up your spot, make sure your MiL remembers how much work a 9mos old can be and is prepared to put the energy into her. Best of Luck.

How do you think your child will be spoiled? If it�s food related, just ask grandma to stick to a specific food agenda. Also, you cannot spoil a child with love.

Also, at 9+ months she will not fall behind developmentally if she�s not in daycare. You�re implying that those children who stay at home with a parent (or grandparent) are not learning? You�re being very judgmental that because a child stays at home, she�s not developing. My 17 mo old daughter goes to �school� (as we call it because she does learn alot), but I�m planning on staying home with her when the second child comes along. I do NOT for a minute think that she (or the new baby who will never be in daycare) will fail to thrive developmentally if they are at home, with me, LEARNING. I think you have a wrong impression of stay-at-home parents.

~J.

I would tell grandma that you are okay with her having the baby part time (2 or 3 days a week) but the other days, the little one needs to be at school with her friends.

Grandma is going to need a break - even though she doesn't realize it now. Gram is not used to having a little one around all day long all week long and she is older - it will be harder on her than she realizes.

I would not worry about the falling behind though..... little ones have been developing just fine without structured daycare centers for as long as man has been around. Daycare and preschool are new inventions - don't worry about her development. She learns more from you at home than you realize.

As for the being spoiled.... grandma is gonna spoil her. It's going to happen but you will be there to keep that in moderation.

As long as it is not detrimental to the little one, she should have time with gram. Our grandparents have so much to teach us (family history - life lessons, etc...) Let your daughter enjoy her gram and you enjoy the break.