Seeking Advice on What Video Games to Allow

Updated on April 27, 2009
J. asks from Omaha, NE
12 answers

Hi mamasource. Let me start by saying that I am typically considered to be somewhat strict regarding what my children watch on tv and play on the computer/video games. This gets complicated because my two oldest children go to their dad's house on the weekends and my stepson only comes over on the weekends. So both my ex husband and my step son's mom have very different ideas on what they will allow. My step son is allowed to watch and play pretty much whatever he wants (he's just turning 12) at his mom's house. So to the point, he wants mercenaries 2 for his birthday (a video game for xbox 360) Typically, this is not something I would buy for him but in order to be fair to him I thought I would ask for actual reviews from moms, I don't always trust the ones on the video game websites. Am I being overboard not buying it for him or should I go with my gut and put my foot down?

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K.W.

answers from La Crosse on

Stick to your "guns". I have a baby brother that is twelve. My parents buy him almost any game he wants and the days he plays the more mature games are like black and white. I hear that video games aren't as bad as we would think, i also hear that any game is the devils doorway. I think both extremes are a little much but from what i see of my brothers attitude when he plays the game, i would not make the same mistake as my parents. Good luck.

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S.O.

answers from Appleton on

Hi J.,
My husband is an avid gamer and he knows all the games that are popular. I am strict when it comes to what my 2 year old is allowed to watch (when daddy plays games)
My husband says that it has swearing and violence and that it is probably more than a 12 year old should handle. Especially because they devote so many hours to the game. I don't know how old your other children are but if you wouldn't want them watching a violent show don't let them watch the game.
My husband says that if it is teen rated wait until he is a teen and then make sure it doesn't have questionable content. If it is rated mature definitely don't let him play it until at least 17 years old.
I'm a firm believer in the saying Garbage In Garbage Out. So if they're hearing and seeing all this language and violence it will come out in their actions as well. They will think we are mean but they will be better people.
good luck,
S.
P.S. my husband says that it's really a boy thing. He did play violent games at that age. I would not have allowed it if I was his mother. I grew up with only sisters though and he says I don't understand. lol :)

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T.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have two teen boys and have put my foot down on many of the video games they've wanted (even if everybody else in the world they know has them). Truthfully, if I had my way, I'd throw the xbox out the window. Stick to your guns - it's okay for your step son to know you have different values. He can find other things to do at your house, or play other games. Even if someone else buys it for him, make sure he knows it's not allowed in your house.

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E.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hello. Since you asked, I will give my advice. Do not, again I say, do not EVER second guess your gut. Always act on what you know to be right; do not compromise. You know your children better than anyone. I know it is difficult, but you can do it! Forward ho!

P.S. I do not respond unless I have or am going through similar challenges. One MUST be true to oneself. God bless you.

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K.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have no experience in your situation at all... but I too am pretty strict about what my kids are exposed to. I have a neice and nephew that I buy gifts for. Despite their mom being less strict than I am with my kids, I still only buy them gifts that I feel comfortable giving. I think as the gift-giver and money-spender, you have every right not to buy a gift you aren't comfortable with. Let his mom buy the game if you don't feel comfortable doing so.

Also if you do buy the game, you may be sending mixed messages about what content is "okay" at your house and what isn't.

Good luck!

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C.T.

answers from Milwaukee on

Hi, my husband is a 30 year old born into the video game generation. I asked him about Mercenaries 2 and he said that it is mild in comparison to most of the games like itself, but there is no way in "heck" he would let a kid under 18 play it. Just so you know though, he said that it's basically a conquer and destroy game (taking over enemy territories like China, etc.) with all killing and blowing things up. I've seen about 30 seconds of it and I can't believe that my husband is still a normal, wonderful man after all that violence. We both think that games like that should be rated over age 21, when minds aren't so impressionable anymore. I think it could alter their sense of reality and desensitize anyone under 18. I think you are on the right track!

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L.M.

answers from Minneapolis on

I would not buy anything for another persons kid that I would not give my own. Regardless of what his mom would buy for him or allow for him. I am sure you can come up with a gift you can be proud to give him that he will love. We just got home from MOA with our kids and my eleven year old had a blast at nickelodeon universe. Maybe you could give him a day pass unlimited ride wristband gift certificate. Would be less expensive than an xbox game.

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L.T.

answers from Sioux Falls on

This game is rated T for teen. I just bought it for my 15 almost 16 year old son and from what I've seen of it, I won't have bought it if he was 12. Even my son said that he won't even let someone that young watch the game while he played it.

J.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

my opinion: i am in the "mom house/dad house" situation. if he wants thatgame I would let his mom buy it. you have your rules and you shouldnt compromise them. my hubby plays all the video games and he said it was a violent one. good luck and stick to your guns. its YOUR house! :) J.

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J.F.

answers from Rochester on

I, too, am a "strict" mom, and I won't even allow my 8 year old to be in the same room when we play. My hubby and I have a lot of games for the Xbox 360, NONE of which are suitable for children. There's a reason they're rated "Teen" and "Mature". The violence and swearing in Mercenaries 2 and games similar to it is just so inappropriate for kids his age.

It doesn't matter what his mom allows him to play, it's your house and your rules. If he wants it so bad, his mom can purchase it for him. Stick to your guns, and explain that these are the house rules for everyone, and nobody gets an acception.

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P.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

My son is 12 years old (he will be 13 in June). He has a Playstation 2. We, too, have strict rules regarding what type of games he can play. Unfortunately, when he goes to his friends' homes, the parents don't have the same rules. We have no objection to any kind of sports games (i.e., basketball, baseball, hockey, etc.) As to violent games, we only allow games in which the "victim" is a non-person (i.e., Men in Black as the "victim" is an alien).

My son has asked for the games he plays at his friends' homes. We have repeatedly stated that those games are not allowed in our home. Of course, he has balked that he should be able to spend his birthday or Christmas money (gift cards) as he chooses. Nope - our house, our rules. When he's an adult he can play any game of his choice. We also point out he is able to play those games at his friends' houses.

Good luck! :)

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A.S.

answers from Des Moines on

Just because his mom allows it, does not mean that it is appropriate or that you should compromise your beliefs to buy him a gift. I think that video games especially the gaming kind cause a lot of harm, and you are wise to be very picky about the ones that they play. I did not start out so careful, but am now, and it is much harder to get stricter than it is to start and stay there.

The problem is that kids can not unsee what they see, and the video games are so realistic anymore that it desensitizes them to reality. The second thing is that if you watch the games while they play it will probably make your head hurt, if kids play games for hours a day, how on earth can they ever hope to concentrate at school or in a normal paced world. And the third thing is, my husband raised a step son who is now 26, he was totally into video games, and it has now transferred to the online role playing games, and it would take me three pages to tell you just how badly this has affected his life. And he is just now starting and I stress starting to get how truly screwed up he is.

Hope this answer helps you to stand firm, get him some roller blades or something that he can do to get away from a screen :)

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