Seeking Advice on Sleeping Issue with 2 Year Old Son

I had one that did the same. We set up a special "floor bed". He would come down, fall asleep and never wake us. Eventually, he grew out of it.

I would just take him back to his bed--stay there until he goes back to sleep(even if you just sit or stand there) and then go back to bed--

I have done this with three and you are exahuasted at first, but they will stop doing it--consistency is the key--you have to take them back to their bed everytime.

I have had this problem too. I'm a light sleeper and have woken up several times with one of my children looking at me from the side of the bed. Its kind of freaky.

I walked them back to the bed and just explained that they needed to learn to stay in their bed. We started with a baby gate and then shutting their door to block out noise so they wouldn't wake up. It still happens occasionally, but maybe once or twice a month instead of every night.

I would recommend reading "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child" (I think the author's name is Weissbluth). I seem to remember there's a section about toddlers getting out of their beds during the night.

My advise as a mom of 3 boys under 5 is that 2 is to young for a bed and put him back in a crib with a crib tent until he is mature enough to stay in a bed. it will save you hours and hours of sleep and worry... I love the crib tent it has worked PERFECT for me! Many boys especially take longer to grasp the concept of staying in a bed so they usually need the crib longer and it takes longer to potty train them as well.

I feel your pain!! I was there very recently. What I did with my son was make a pallet on the floor in his room, and sleep in there at night. When he would wake up I was there to tell him not to get up and to lay back down in his own bed and go back to sleep. After a few nights I moved the pallet to just outside his door so he couldnlt see me, and repeated. The trick was when he woke up he would assume after finding me outside his door a few nights that I was waiting out there for him and would tell him to get back in bed, so he eventually gave up and would go back to sleep on his own. It did take about 10 days all told to get him stay in his room. But ever since he has slept all night in his room, and it has been about a year. Good luck and I hope that helps.

When I was a kid I did the same thing. I hated the dark ;-) My mom eventually got fed up -- so she made a new rule. If I came into their room at night I had to bring my pillow and blanket and I could lay on the floor by the bed. After a week of finding me on the floor every night by her bed - she said the new rule was that I had to sleep on the floor by the foot of the bed. A week later it was just inside the door - then later -- outside the door. So she just sort of made it less and less desirable for me to go in there. After a while -- I learned it was better to just sleep in my own bed. We laugh about it now ;-)

I agree with someone else -- you may just want to ask him why he is doing it. I would wake in the night and be so afraid of the dark. It’s funny how I still remember it so vividly. My mom didn't realize at the time that she was turning on the hall light when I went to sleep but during the night it would get turned off so when I woke up there was no light. And I was petrified. But I didn't know how to express that to her.

Not to sound horrible, but send him to his sister's bed!!! Just kidding good luck! I have no idea! Just thought I would add a little humor! I still have not figured that part out!

Hi we had a same sort of problem and what we did was went to hobby lobby and bought a very thick foam pad and when the girls are sick of have a bad dream or sometimes just for fun ...we will make it up like a little bed and put it at the foot of our bed and we call it a sleep over. Wow they love it and they don't want in our bed now the love the sleep over bed. Good luck

Boy, it's a tough time and sleep deprivation makes it grueling. I think, however, that you might consider consistently putting him back in his own bed. Right now he has the message that if he keeps coming back, he'll eventually win out. The message you want for him is "no matter how many times you try, I'm going to put you back in your own bed." Don't give up. It's tough for a season, but it truly does pass quickly.

This is, quite honestly, an important message for him to understand from you. There are going to be many, many issues on which he'll test you. It will be comforting to him to know that no matter how many times he tries, Mom and Dad will stand firm and keep him going in the right direction. You will have to teach him that he can't outlast you.

I know this will be a wonderful foundation for the teen years. Having been through this eight times, I know how tired you can be and how endless the struggle seems. You'll win it, though, if you just stay the course.

Believe it or not, you'll miss these times.

Persistence is the key. You might have to do it 10 times the first night. but as the week goes along, it will reduce until it finally stops. expect to loose about one week doing this. If you continue, then it will stop because there will be no payoff for him.

A.

My Daughter is also 2, she did the same thing and still does at times. I did put her in the bed with us once, right then I decided no way I am doing this. I took her back to her bed and reassured her everything is okay and I love her very much, I also told her I would come get her up in the morning and we would have a wonderful day. All is great and we very seldom have her get up anymore, if she does we go through the same routine.

I have twins that went through a similar thing when they were two. It got a little crowded in that queen size bed! I think they were have nightmares, because they let out blood curdling screams as they ran to our room. We bought little flashlights for toddlers, and that pretty much took care of the problem. We told them if they were afraid, turn on their flashlights. They thought it was great.
C. M.

Ask him why he keeps comming into your bed. If he's scared of sleeping in the dark by himself, get him a nightlight. I've also put a CD player in my kids' room with the CD 'Pachelbel Canon in D Major with Ocean Sounds' and play it on repeat all night. The soothing music of Pachelbel and the ocean sounds will help lull him to sleep and drown out any distracting noises that may be waking him up. If that doesnt work, let him sleep on an extra bed in big sister's room (if she has bunk beds or a trundle).
My oldest son slept in my bed until he was 5 when I finally kicked him out. But he was still afraid to sleep by himself so since my daughter had a trundle bed in her room, he slept in big sister's room on the trundle. That lasted for about a year then he decided he wanted to sleep in his own room. He's been there ever since.

I hope this helps. My soon to be 3 year old is still in my bed and we are hoping to get him out soon. He will sleep on the bottom bunk in big brother's room when we finally kick him out of our bed. :)

My son did that for forever. Finally I started making a big deal about him sleeping in his bed and staying there all night. I would talk to him before bed about how he was going to be a big boy and stay in bed all night. If he did get up, I would remind him of our talk. In the morning I made a big deal about what a good job he had done during the night. You might try it. Hope it work!!! I understand you frustration!!!!

I don't know if this will help you or not. My son was doing the same thing for the past couple of months. I'm 8 1/2 mos. pregnant, so in order for me to get my sleep I just gave in, because I was already so exhausted from the pregnancy, I din't have the energy to keep bringing him back to his bed. My husband travels a lot, so that was really easy when husband is gone to just throw my son in bed with me. My husband got home this last weekend from his dads funeral, and he said ok we are going to break him of this habit. So Sunday night, dh put him in his bed, told him sternly it is time to go to bed, and that he is not to get up. I thought it was kind of harsh, but that's probably why my son kept getting up. So last night I put him to bed, told him good night, did my normal mommy thing and he did not get up one time. So maby see if dad can put your son to bed one night. My son got used to me giving in, so he knew he could keep getting up. We'll see how tonight goes. I know at some point he's going to wake up and especially when the new baby gets here.
Good luck with this. This has been the biggest struggle for me with him. Potty training is next, but I'm definetly waiting for the baby to get here to start that.

Our daughter use to do this too! I feel your pain :) I know a lot of parent are WAY aginst TV's in the kids room .. but we set up a TV with a VCR/DVD only (no cable). We would let her watch movies to bed and that really helped a lot. Then we found that after a few months of that... she learned how to use the DVD player and would watch her movies all night.. we stopped that by showing her how to use the radio and she could listen to her kid CD's at night after her movie was over.. I think just the waking up to pure silence was what frightened her so much.. where as when she woke up to something that got her mind off of being in her room alone.. she could go back to sleep..

Its worth a shot.. you will still go through stages.. and it will be slow starting.. but I kept telling myself.. one day at a time :)

On the other hand... he may just be wanting that one on one time with you .. since you are having to split the time so much.. Do you read him stories to bed.. or have any one on one time? Please do not mis understand me by thinking I am questioning you at all in mothering abilities.. I am just going off of my own experiences here. Good luck!!! I hope it all gets worked out!

You need to make sure he understands that your bed is your bed only and as much as you love him, he cannot sleep on it.
This happened to me with my 2 yr old a few months ago. She kept trying to get me to get up and go to her and then when I wouldn't, she'd come to me and try climbing into bed with us.
What happend was, I was tired all the time, not getting enough sleep and really cranky. So one day I decided it was enough and told my husband to prepare for a horrible sleepless night... So, that night, she woke up as usual, tried luring me into her room, but I just wouldn't get up. She finally came into our room about 15 mins later and tried climbing into bed with me. I kept putting her down and giving her the instruction to go back to her bed. She cried and we went trhough this dance for another 45 minutes. I didnt get upt AT ALL, not even to put her back in bed. She is old enough to get out, she is old enough to go back in, and she never laid her hed on my bed either. She finally fell asleep by my bed an hour later. I thought this was gonna have to happen for a few nights until she got it, but thankfully it took only that one horrendous night and she never ever got out of bed again.
Be firm. You set the boundaries.

S.,

I have a four year old son, who still does this occasionally. I have found 2 things that work for us. First I bought a flashlight, thing (it looks like a short flashlight, but is called a "lamp" and you just push the switch up to turn it on and off so it is very easy to use). Got on the computer and made a label for it that says, "No Monster Light" and put a picture of a bandaged monster on it, (from ClipArt). And gave it to him. I told him that the light would make the monsters sick and they were scared of it and would run away. So every night he has the light by his bed and is not scared to sleep by himself.

My husband travels a lot, and I noticed this pattern happened more when his dad was gone. I just make sure that his dad leaves on a "happy" note, and whenever possible, dh will e-mail my son a letter. I print it up and he sleeps with it under his pillow. This also seems to help that insecurity when dad is gone.

Of course you have to keep putting him back in his own bed, and you may have to get a little stern with him, or offer bribes. I know you said your dh is in the military, but if he is home, sometimes it helps to have dad put him back in bed. I know my son resonds better to his father.

Hope this helps,
S.

I have a three and five year old. My five year old cycles through this same sleeping pattern. We go from her sleeping in her bed all night for a few months and back to her waking up in the middle of the night to crawl between us and go back to sleep. She is a bit older and we have been going through this for a while - back and forth. It appears linked to dreams - whether good or bad. When she has a dream that wakes her up - whether good or bad - she comes to our room. Not because she is scared, but because she wants to sleep. Apparently when she is in our room, the dreams are much less frequent. I have noticed that when we have an active day, she dreams less and hence stays in bed all night. Yet, when she has a lazy evening and perhaps falls asleep while watching cartoons, she ends up in bed with us. I think its because she has things on her mind. Nothing intense, just kid stuff. See if you notice a similar pattern. I suspect he will cycle out of it the same way our daughter seems to. She rarely crawls in bed with us on a school night, I think it is because her body is too tired to dream and therefore wake her. When her mind wanders in sleep, she wanders to us.

You're doing the right thing. It takes about 7-10 days to change his behavior. One or two nights won't do it. Then if you give in, for example on night 3 you let him stay in your bed, you basically must start over again and give it another week or so. But it will work--just be patient. Think how long it takes to change your own behavior and it might seem a little easier to change his.

Hi, My pediatrician recommended this for my son (who was doing the exact same thing)--I put a door knob cover on his interior door handle so he couldn't open the door. He cried for about 2 nights trying to get out and then would crawl back into bed and go to sleep. After 2 nights, he stopped trying b/c he knew it was no use. I was loathe to do this at first b/c it just seemed mean, but the doctor said that it was actually safer than to risk him roaming around the house at night. It worked! Good Luck.

Our 4 yr old was doing the same thing and we bought a Sleep Mate white noise machine. It has made all the difference. It's very small - about the size of a smoke detector and really helps block out the noise that was previously waking him up. We bought ours on ebay for about $40.

There are a few things you could do:

If you don't want him to come into your room, put a gate on his door to ensure he stays in his room. Then, he should go back and lay down in his own bed.

If you don't mind him coming into your room but just don't want him in your bed. Make a small pallet beside your bed with a pillow and let him sleep there when he comes in your room.