Seeking Advice on My 4 Year Old Who Wakes up Every Night.

As a former sleep-deprived mom, who vows never to go there again, I hope I can help. First, does your son know this is a problem for you? You have to tell him that he needs to sleep through the night, and if he wakes up, give him things to do on his own, without waking you,to help him fall back to sleep...a special blankey or stuffed toy, that is a substitute for you, so when you aren't with him, your toy is still with him. Do not expect this to work the first few nights, but you have to be firm when he wakes you up, what he needs to do with it. Start a reward chart, if he doesn't wake you 5 days in a row, he gets something. Think of this as changing any other undesired behavior. Plan B, expect some tears. Change is hard on little ones. Plan C,, put a sleeping bag under your bed, and tell him that if he can't fall back asleep that he can come pull out the sleeping bag and sleep on the floor, but he cannot wake mommy or daddy. Kids sleep patterns change for no tangible reason, and then they change again, but it sounds like he has developed a behavior pattern. Lastly, you didn't mention that he is a snorer or not, so I assume that he isn't, but if he is, you need to think about sleep apnea, and him waking himself up. If that is the case, go to an EENT Dr. before you do the other suggestions. I hope this helps.

I once had that issue up until 6 months ago.....and she is 9!! I know how it is....actually she did that AFTER having trouble falling asleep(which may have been my biggest problem!) Nowadays, I put Pure Lavender Essential Oils on the bottoms oh her feet. She slumbers all night. TRY it...can't hurt. Also, making a chart for him showing smiley g=faces on night that he doesn't get up and rewarding him may help, too!?

How much milk and dairy does he consume? Milk is a big contributor to sleep problems. Remove milk/dairy (cheese, grilled cheese sandwiches, pizza, mac and cheese, yogurt etc, EVERYTHING) for about three days and watch what happens. Gluten would be the next dietary contributor to sleep issues.

Does he have trouble falling asleep alone as he goes to bed for the night? Some children have sensory issues, and a deficit in the sense called "proprioception" or where they are in space, can contribute to sleep issues. As a compensation for this underdeveloped sense of proprioception, they will use their eyes and vision to tell them where they are, and when they shut their eyes, they are "lost" and need someone to lie down next to them in order to give them a reference point as to where they ARE.

If some dietary adjustments don't work and the issue is severe, you might consider a screening by an occupational therapist for sensory issues.

You need to be firm. My kids have tried the getting up thing a couple nights in a row, and we realized it was becoming a habit. Plain and simple a HABIT! Do not go lay in bed with him. That will only becoming a worse habit. When he gets up, tell him "Get back in your bed right now" If he cries get up, walk him back and put him back and tell him you stay in your bed and go to sleep. If he cries, ignore. If he gets out put him right back. The next day tell him you will not tolerate him getting out of bed at night and waking everyone up. Tell him if he stays in bed all night and doesn't wake anyone up. He'll get an ice cream cone (or something special). Then lengthen the special treats to Friday night, after a full week of sleeping nicely. Stick to your guns, it will work. DON'T GIVE IN!!!!! Giving in will only extend your situation. Good luck!

I know where you are coming from and it's no fun! Unfortunately, there isn't always a whole lot you can do. As long as you have ruled out health issues, some kids just plain old don't sleep through the night. You can try making him go back to bed on his own and refuse to lay down with him, but that may result in tears. My children all slept through the night as little ones and I was thrilled. Then, they got older and decided sleeping was for the birds! My oldest used to wake me up 2-4 times a night, wanting me to tuck her back in, etc. Now, she sleeps through the night (she just turned 6) and my son is doing this. (He will be 4 in December) He wakes up and wants covered, tucked in, etc. So, I can understand how you feel, but I haven't found any true solutions yet. We have to be there to comfort and love our children and I think it's especially important at night, when they aren't always fully aware of what's reality and what's from a dream. GL! If you find a good solution, let me know! Getting up once or twice with my son and then getting up several times with the baby is EXHAUSTING!!

Hi K. -
Ok, I know this may sound a bit strange but it worked for us...When my daughter was a baby & I was preparing to return to work I was all freaked out how she would handle it. I read something about sending the baby with a clothing item that had my scent on it. It worked! The caregivers use to tell me they would alway get that when she fussed and it would calm her. Fast forward a few years...when she started getting up throughout the night we thought we'd try it and it worked again! I opted for a small receiving blanket - I would lay it over my pillow, sleep on it then give it to her the next night at tuck in time. We also have a "sleep time buddy" that I load up with hugs & kisses and tell my daughter that her buddy is "holding" them for when my daughter feels she could use one of my hugs or kisses. Of course I reassure her that if she really needs me to call &/or come to me. When we first started it at night time I would help her back to bed give her the blanket again and her buddy and say something like "Did your buddy forget to give you my hugs & kisses?" I only had to do that a few times and we were back on track. Good Luck!