Seeking Advice on My 15 Month Old Daughter.....

My son would always get extra fussy right before some big developmental milestone such as crawling, walking, nap changes, etc. Is she talking? If not, that could be part of the frustration as well. My son responded very positively to signing. It really helped him a lot. Playgroups also kept him happy too. I don't know if you belong to any, but that might be a good option for both of you (playgroups are sometimes more for the mom than the kid). Another thing my son liked, especially when it got hot, was to play around in some water or at the sink. I dont' know why, but he really liked it a lot and it would calm him down. Play-doh is also good for him. Both can make a mess, but I always considered that a small price to pay for some peace.

Good luck. It will pass.

When my daughter was younger, I realized that the fussing was largely due to frustration that she couldn't express her desires. So when she did fuss, I'd refuse to give her what she wanted until she asked nicely, and I'd show her how (either with a sign or simple words). She was pretty good at changing her tone and trying to ask nicely.

Now that she's older (25 months), I still try to model proper asking techniques, but if she doesn't change her tone, I learned the following approach from Parenting with Love and Logic.

When my daughter fusses, I say, "We don't fuss. If you're going to fuss, go to your room." If I hear one more whimper, I send her to her room for a time out until a) 2 minutes have passed or b) she has quit whining. Of course, when I get her out of her room I let her know that she went because she was fussing and that I don't want to hear it anymore. If she fusses again, I send her back to her room. It takes consistency, but it has worked well for my daughter. Now when she fusses I say, "Do you need to go to your room?" And she'll suck it up and say in the nicest voice she can muster, "I'm done." I started this with my daughter around 22 months, but only because that's when I read the book. You know if your daughter could handle this or if she's too young. Of course, if she's not used to time outs, this approach probably wouldn't work right now. I still recommend that you read Parenting with Love and Logic. It has helped take a lot of the exasperation out of parenting and made me a nicer mom.

My son is 16 months old and he is the same way. BUT, I think some of his whining is due to teething and the inability to talk to me. We have taught him some signs and he has picked them up really fast. It has made it so much easier to know what he wants. We also ask him what he wants when he is fussing a bunch, I'll say "show Mommy what you want" and then I'll follow him and watch what he does. At first he didn't get it, but now he'll come over and wait for me to follow him. Toddlers have a tough time expressing themselves. Good Luck!!

Have her look at you while talking, and tell her that if she ask for something she needs, you will try a nd get it for her, but if she whines, she will NOT get it, and then follow through, and make sure she kows the difference between need, and just wanting anything in site. Following through may be hard but it pays off in a short time.

My son is 19 mo. and a couple of things come to mind when you are asking about the seemingly constant fussiness. One is that there have been a few times when I finally figured out that he was trying to cut more teeth. Once that was discoved a little tylenol went a long way. Another thing is to try to teach a more appropriate means of communication. (Saying "cup" if she wants a drink or signing "more" or she wants more snacks, ect.) This really helps me, because it teaches him to ask for what he wants/needs in a better way. The kicker is that you can't give in to the fussing or she'll think that is how she can get her way. Also, there was a phase that my son went through around that age that he would scream at the top of his lungs anytime he didnt get what he wanted or was told no. This is when I decided to institute time-out in our household. I would just give him one warning (if you scream again you will have to go to time-out), then if he did it again he would have to sit in a chair for one minute (it took some training). This really helped stop the screaming. Whining is a little different in that I'm never absolutely SURE that nothing is wrong. However, I do still sometimes put him in time-out or at least take him to another room (for personal sanity purposes) for excessive whining. Hang in there...this too shall pass!

She seems like she might be getting very frustrated b/c she understands what you are saying but she is not able to communicate back with her words. Tell her you know she is (worried, scared, upset, frustrated, tired etc...) and that you would like her to try and "use her big girl words and no fussy talk." Have you ever tried sign language very simple google baby sign language and pick up a few signs that you may use often and try it-- sounds strange but it really works-- good luck!

When Maddie went through that stage we had a "time out" mat for her. Not for punishment, but just a place for her to go sit and calm down and regroup, it worked wonders for her. Also she might be teething, and could just be extra fussy and sensitive from that.

Well, my daughter is 21months and when she was fussy/whiney, it was a communication barrier. But I chose not to talk "baby talk" so I would use those times as an opportunity to find out what she wanted and to teach her how to tell me. Once she started catching on, she would still get frustated but I would stop hold her hands tell her to calm down and tell mommy with "big girl words." Now it works...even if she's asking for a pacifier (yes she says it perfectly).

Mine did the same thing at that age despite being EXTREMELY verbal. Here's what worked EVERY time--silliness! It is hard when you're annoyed, but I would just put my hands on my hips and in a silly voice say something like "well I guess my grumpy girl is going to have to be tickled!" Try smothering her with kisses or just completely change the subject or do something crazy like put a blanket over your head. I swear it works every time--much better than mocking the whiney voice like some tell you to do. And since it is an overt cry for attention, I think the ignoring doesn't work so well either. It is a totally normal phase, but, yes...annoying!!!

Hi N., it almost sounds like you wrote in about my grandbaby, who is also 15 months, because she is going through the exact same thing right now. Sorry that I don't have any advice for you but just wanted to let you know that you are not alone and the advice that you already received from these other mommies sound great. I'm going to pass this thread on over to my daughter and hopefully it'll help her with my granddaughter. You would think that after me having had four kids I could remember what to do, but I forgot, everything :(. But I wish you all the best of luck N.!!