Hi ladies! I know you are wondering what I mean by my subject line. Anytime I (or my husband) asks our 6 YR old to do something (ie: clean her room, ANYTHING) she starts whining that she doesn't know how. If you could hear her, you'd think she didn't know anything. She can take her toys out, but she can't put them away. I've put them in trash bags and hid them, but it doesn't phase her. She can take her clothes off to get in the shower, but she doesn't know how to get them to the laundry room. She doesn't know how to wipe herself anymore (I know, too much info).
I just don't know what else to do. My husband is at his wits end. I need some new ideas on what to do with her. This is becoming an every day argument!!
Thank you all for your responses. I have decided to start a chore chart. During the Mon thru Thurs, I assigned a 5 minute room clean (picking clothes and toys up off the floor); Fri, Sat or Sun, I assigned a full room cleaning. Each completed chore earns points that after earning so many points can be used towards something special (sleepovers, movie nights, anything within reason).
I also want to apologize for the comment I made about her not wiping--its just every now and then that she gets that way with that situation. I was just on a venting rampage. Sorry!!
Anyway, things have gotten much better. Thanks again to all who responded!
I think she is acting like a normal child.Sometimes you have to make cleaning up like a game and the chore chart is an exellent Idea .Reward good behavior.
My Kayla went through this too. You may want to try just letting her know that these individual things are required to be done if she wants something.....tough love.
Tell her to that you know she can do something, tell her to do it and DON't do it for her. You can show her ONCE but that is it. If she can't get her clothes to the laundry, let her run out of clean clothes.....and DO NOT allow her to put on dirties ever. She will get the message.
Make some things her 'job' --at 6 Kayla was setting the table, making her bed (stripping it weekly too), and putting the dirty laundry in her basket.
As for the toys, if she won't put them away, help HER put them in a trash bag AND put the bag in the can. If she decides to put them away after seeing that she is going to need to throw them away (FOR REAL, NOT JUST HIDING THEM)let her the 1st time. Tell her that you will not do it again and, if the toys go in the trash, they will not be replaced!!!! STICK TO YOUR WORD -- she is old enough!!!!
GOOD LUCK!!
Hi K., A. here!
Wow don't know what to say. Maybe her brother getting the attention with what is going on with him, she thinks that if she starts to do things like this then she will start getting more attention. Okay maybe if you take her on a mommy daughter outing, just you two and maybe sit down to eat and before ordering say Katie you and I need to talk....what is going on with you and why are you having trouble remembering how to clean your room, put your clothes in the laundry...so forth and so on. If she shuts down don't just stop there, say Katie if something is bothering you then now is the time to talk about it. Are you having trouble at school with kids? Poke and prod, maybe you will hit it. If she still says the normal "I don't know" then say I really need your help with things around the house and picking up your room, putting away your toys, and cleaning up behind your self in the bathroom are really great ways of helping, with mom(my) working and making sure you get dinner I could use a big helper like you that does a great job (maybe an allowance could help not allot like fifty cents a week for cleaning her room and another fifty for toys and cleaning up her clothes) my son loves money. Well then let her know you will always be there to talk if she needs you and BE THERE IF she does come to you. I hope this helps and doesn't sound to far fetched. You know where I am if you need to talk. MY BEST FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY! A. www.busymomsworkathome.com
Make her a 3-4 step direction card for each task you want her to complete. Post it in her room, bathroom, play room, where ever you have something she needs to do.
My son has autism, and we had to be very concrete and specific with every request (still do and he is 15) because he would just fall apart if we expected him to do this without directions. If this continues, talk to your pediatrician about possible other things going on.
Hope this helps!
T.
Hi there, your a trip.... I have the same issue but my daughter will turn 4 in 2weeks. She is very smart cookie, she knows what's right and wrong. She will make a mess in her play room and when I ask her to start picking up she will reply "I'm to tired" she sounds worst then an old lady. But, she knows that daddy will help her.... Daddy's 1st child and my 2nd child. I have a 14year boy Chris and Miss Sofia that will be having a birthday soon. Have you tried taking away something that she REALLY likes? Time-out "Maybe"
We moved from Florida (Miami)A year and a month ago, we leave in Governors Preserve. My hubby and I have been married for 5yrs but together for 8 loving years. He is the most wonderful man. We both work from home and loving Georgia.
Hope to hear from you soon.
C. J
hey akim
I am a grandma , mom . and yes all kids go thru the test stage..talk to her ,, say you need her help ,,, make it like she is the big helper you need.1 st of all you show her that you need her help to put her toys in a toy box or certain palce , show her how nice her room looks,then show that when she goes to the bathroom ,, always tell her front to back ,, tell her that will keep her bottom from becoming sore. tell her if she need help remembering where to put her toys you will help her,,then she willo want to show you she is the big girl and can put them away and make her room look pretty.let her help you in your room .. tell her how you put your clothes in the laundry room,and she will see that every ones clothes are there and she will eventually start putting hers there also. and always make it a big deal that she is helping you cause you are so busy,, let her help put the dishes in dw ,, or get things from the frig for you,, set the table.. the bigger deal you make that what she does helps you ,, will in the long run ,,, help you ,,,no expert here just raised a daughter and 2 sons and a granddaughter thats 6, i have had for 3 years now ,,and her brother is now 14 it worked with her even at 3.. her brother was older and took a while to sink in his head clothes dont go on floor ,, but he finally got it when he had no clean clothes they werent in laundry i didnt wash them..thanks D.
Morning! Ok, this might be drastic, but does she have ADHD? My daughter doesn't know anything either! My Emily (7) has ADHD and cannot literally remember things said or done 5 minutes ago. She has just been diagnosed and we're assessing a plan to help us help her to know and remember. Emily also does not wipe! It's a constant battle for EVERYTHING and she cannot stop talking back or just making comments after the discussion is over. She also wets her bed more than not. Very difficult for a 7 mo pg Mom with a full time job and no washer/dryer. (Sorry, that one was just for me!) Anyway, good luck!
I know this is something that you do not want to hear, and i'm not saying it is, but maybe it is just her being lazy and wanting mom to clean up and do things for her, maybe she is striving for some extra attention, I have never heard of a 6 year old not wiping. I know this may sound harsh, and by no means do i want it to sound that way, i feel very threatened when someone gives me harsh advice but in this case i think maybe im right. I have a 2 year old boy, I went through a long struggle with him about doing what mommy said, clean up your toys, dont touch that, one day it was so bad that i put him in time out continously all day long, I was tired of it and he was too. the next day (yesterday) and also today I have had no problems out of him at all, in fact he was soo good i rewarded him for good behavior with an icecream. I now only have to tell him one time to do what he is told and he does it, no more time outs or raised voices. I am so very proud of him. I am trying to get him potty trained right now, when he goes to the potty first i let him wipe (which he insists on doing by himself, mr. independent) and then i will wipe to make sure he is clean. Your daughter being 6 though, you shouldnt have to wipe her. She is a big girl, she should be doing it alone. try time-out (6 minutes-a minute for every year of age), be strict, kids need limits! hope this helps, i hope you dont take my advice the wrong way. i wasnt criticizing you just trying to help. Good luck and let me know how it goes.
Thanks for sharing I have the same issues with my 5yr old .. She hates lunch bunch at school and I am bound to send her crying her eyes out in the morning so she can just be with other children... I do believe it is attention.. I take away tv shows and it works at times... threaten to throw toys away/give away and have.. works at time it is a stage- I don't think it is ADHD...Good luck
Hi, I'm J.. I'm dealing with the same issue with my 6 year old son. Really the only thing that has worked for me is, doing like you've done, by putting the toys in a trash bag. I tell him that I'm going to give to little kids that would like to have them, and knows how to put them away. Or, another thing that I've started trying is, not letting him play with any toys until he learns to put them away (I know that sounds mean, but it seems to be working a little). Anyways, Good Luck and let me know how it turns out for you!
My name is M., I only have a 1 year old but I use to babysit a lot. you can try making a game out of putting her toys away, and putting her clothes in the laundry room. And everytime she does it and does a great job out of it give her a heathy snack or treat or a sticker to wear to school the next day (If shes in school). This might help you.
Hi there... Maybe she is just doing it for attention. She knows that daddy will help her so why not. My son had this problem and he just turned 6 in December. It just ment he didn't want to do it. Plain and simple. Kids learn early on if they pretend not to know how then they get help or are not expected to do it. If you know she knows how to do it... talk her thru it...but don't help. "Put your blocks away...put your dresses away...and so on. Then she can't use "I don't know how" as an excuse. We had to get creative with my son. When we knew he really knew how to do something we would simply tell him to figure it out. Then we would start doing something he loved to do or put on his favorite show. When he realized that if he hurried he could do something way more fun, he stopped pretending he didn't know anything. Kids are way smarter than we give them credit for and sometimes they realize that the smarter they are the more they have to do themselves. Good luck
Hi, I have a 5-yr-old daughter who sometimes responds the same way. I've found that if I simply tell her to clean her room it can be overwhelming for her. So, I've tried giving her one thing at a time to do. For example, I tell her to put her dress up clothes in the bin, and when she's done with that she comes and tells me. Then I'll tell her to put away her Barbies, and when she's done with that she comes and tells me. It may seem tedious on your part, but it has been very effective. Maybe that will help with the cleaning room part.
As far as other stuff goes, if she's not fazed by taking away toys as a punishment, maybe you should try taking away a favorite priviledge (like watching TV or playing with a friend) when she doesn't obey you. Just a suggestion. I hope that helps at least a little!
A. : )
