Seeking Advice Getting an Infant into a Scheduled Bedtime

The book I recommend is "The Baby Whisperer" by Tracy Hogg. Full of great ideas that help children learn to fall asleep on their own and stay asleep using routines. I don't agree with everything in the book but following her advice has left me one very rested mommy.

My doc told me you can't really get a baby on a schedule until 4 months. My boys were on a schedule at about 4 months.

Hi, R.. My name is B.. I am also 29, first time mom with a beautiful 4 month old baby boy. My fiance and I have been working hard since day one, striving toward Eli, my son, sleeping through the night. We read every book known to man. The best by far that I've found is one called Baby Wise. Since day one we have had Eli on a feeding schedule. We feed him 4 ounces every 3 hours, and it seems to have worked. From about 1-3 months we fed him at 6, 9, 12, 3, etc. We put him straigh to bed after his last feeding at 9pm, and he gets most nights like clock work at 3, then I feed him before I leave for work at 6. He usually sleeps through the night about half the time since he's been about 3 months old, but when he does get up I change him in the dark, feed him in the dark, and he goes straight back to sleep. It takes me about 15 minutes. Not perfect, but from what I hear from other moms I'm doing pretty good. I hope this has helped. Good luck going back to work. I'll tell ya right now, it's hard!! Let me know if you have any questions, since we are just two months ahead of you. BTW, Eli just started giggling in the last couple of weeks. It's the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life!!
B.
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check out "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth. It's a great book with many tips - recognizing that there are many methods, but a few guaranteed underlying principles to observe.

It's an easy read, and great reference as it discusses sleep habits of newborns through adolescence (and tips we as adults could probably heed too!).

This has been a tried and true book with our family! (my boys are now 2 1/2, 18 months, and #3 due in June.)

The best advice I got and what worked for my little one was to make sure I was getting him up at a consistant time in the morning and then putting him down for a nap after every 2 hours of awake time. Once I started doing this he was ready to go down for bed at a consistant time...around 9:30 or so every night. Good luck.

I am also a 29 year old with a 2 1/2 month old and a 3 year old. Try keeping your little fella up during the evening time so he is tired at 9 or 10. And start a bedtime routine so he knows what to expect each night. Bath, massage, feeding, etc. Try Johnson's Bedtime Bath and lotion for massage. I used this for my 3 year old, who was colic, and it worked like a charm to get him to sleep. Good Luck!

Try reading the book: "12 hours in 12 weeks." I used the information with my second child and after only two weeks my 8 week old son would sleep from 9 pm to 6 am. Good Luck.

I just had to chime in a little on this one. Your baby is still VERY young and needs to be nurtured and reassured that you are there for him. We followed the "Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child" book, and it recommends many different methods for getting your child to sleep well. At this age, getting on an actual schedule is pretty tough. We followed the book's advice and waited until our daughter was 5 months before letting her cry it out. Before then, a baby really doesn't understand why you are letting them cry and not attending to them. It is important to establish trust with a child this young, so that they always know you will attend to them. At least that is what I have read and believe. That said, you have to do what is right for your family. We noticed Tabi's bedtime move earlier and earlier the older she got, so that by 5 months she was going to bed between 8 and 8:30. Just please make sure your baby is getting enough to eat! When they wake up at night, it could be because they are truly hunger and need to be fed. Especially when they are this young and going through growth spurts, etc.

Good luck!

R., I would get him to bed a little earlier, say 15 minutes, let him get used to that, and then make it another 15 minutes earlier etc. Good Luck and God Bless.

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070200.asp

Read that article when you have a few minutes.

With four children, I know that bedtimes can be trying. Just remember - you gave birth to a human, not a clock, and what a baby needs may not acutely reflect what his/her parent wants. Give him, and yourself, time to adjust and grow.

Best of luck.

P.S. I'd rather shave the insides of my eyelids with a rusty razor blade than follow the methods recommended in the book "On Becoming Babywise." Ditto for Ferber.

Hi R.,

I'm sure you will get tons of feedback from this question as people have so many opinions across the spectrum regarding sleep training. But here's my 2 cents! I would HIGHLY recommend a book by Mark Weisbluth called "healthy sleep, happy child" or something similar to that. In my circle of friends we call it the magic book. Dr. Weisbluth is not just a doctor he is actually a "sleep expert" with tons of experience. The timing would be great for you as he talks about some very important changes that occor in infants around the 3-4 month mark. I started reading the book when my daughter was 3 months old and I felt like it was just in the nick of time. The results were truly miraculous. The best part is that he doesn't have any hard an fast rules about whether or not you have to let your child "cry it out". So no matter where you are on that philosophy, you can still make his strategies work for you. My daughter is now 18 months old has slept 12 hour nights for over a year. My husband and I hate to wonder what our lives would have been like if we had not read this book. I hope you try it and see awesome results!

R.,

I have three children - ages 8, 7 and 5. My husband and I used the book "Babywise" for all three children, and it worked beautifully for each one of them. I would encourage you to read this book and apply the principles within. The premise is essentially this: children need schedules and thrive when they are on a predictable routine. The authors suggest feeding a child every three hours in the beginning up until about 10 or 11 at night, then letting the child sleep as long as he/she will, maybe one feeding during the night and then starting the process back up again in the morning - typically about 6, depending on when your child awakes. There's a lot of good theory behind all of this, both psychologically and physiologically. I read this book and then critically analyzed the content - deciding what would work for us and what wouldn't and applying the information accordingly. One thing I particularly liked about this was that it gave me a plan - something concrete to which I cold refer over and over. I have heard some criticisms of this book, but I am a firm believer in it. Each of our children began sleeping through the night between 7 and 10 weeks (through the night = 7+hours). As this happens, bedtime can creep closer to a "normal" time - 7 for us. They are all still good sleepers.

Please keep in mind that at least he's sleeping well and goes to sleep well--that's big plus at this age. When they are this small, it's better to let the baby be in control and go with what works for him! I am completely against the book Babywise, which many people have recommended. I would instead read The Baby Sleep Book and Nighttime Parenting, both by Dr William Sears. They give a completely contray view to Babywise, one that is baby friendly and seeks to get you well attached to your baby. These book are fantastic!

R.,I am 48 yrs old and I have a37,26, and 23 and are you ready for this? 3 3/4 years old. Anyway with all of my kids I took and gave my babies about that age about a teaspoon of rice cereal in their formula it fills them up and they sleep longer and so does mommy. I just took a new needle and washed it and kinda rolled it around the nipple hole to make it easier for the cereal to come out. Just don't make it too big you don't want to choke em. My first one I had to just plain out put more than one in his bless his little heart he was a big eater. Who would ever guess he would ever grow up to weigh 170 and be six foot four. An ex marine of four years and now a navy reservist a full time husband and dad of two and full time job. Yes I'm proud. The other two are Marines too and one of them is a woman. HOO RAH!

I am looking forward to hearing your responses- I have a 2 month old as well and am going back to work in 2 weeks and we are desparately trying to set a bedtime and get him to sleep through the night. My pediatrician told us to first, set a "wake time"- so I've been getting him up at 6:30 every morning, to prep him for daycare. Then, he said to put him down at 10:30 and that at his age, he should be able to sleep 8 hours. He said to let him "cry it out" and that it would take 7-10 days for him to make it through the night and learn to put himself back to sleep. Well, tonight is night #7, and he's still waking up and crying, but really improving at falling back asleep on his own. Hopefully others, who have older children, will have good advice for you- for me too!

try moving it up 10-15 minutes every couple nights, but to be honest, you are asking WAY too much of a 3 month old to sleep 6 hours at a time!!! No book will ever tell you this is normal. You are going to be tired when you go back to work but it's just something you will have to deal with. Babies just don't sleep that well that early on unless you are really lucky.

You can try giving him a little bit of rice cereal with his formula before bedtime, and put it right in the bottle, and it will help him stay more full for longer. You dont have to use very much rice mixture. And also try not to let him nap too much after five or so and then he will be really tired. A bath just before bed helps too. Not too many doctors would agree about the cereal but it worked for my kids. I have four kids ages 15,13,11, and 6.

Hey new Mom:
Instead of bathing your baby in the morning, which I'm sure you do, try giving him his bath at the same time every night, the time when you'd like for him to get used to going to bed. Then, in the morning, you can wash his little face and bottom, rub him down with some lotion to make him feel better after sleeping, and work on keeping him awake as much as possible in the afternoon and on towards the scheduled time you'd like to have him on..He's only 2 months old, but by the time you start back to work, you should have a pretty good handle on changing him around to your way of thinking..Good Luck.!!

I would think his natural body clock will be setting in soon and he'll get tired earlier on his own, so I wouldn't stress it too much. In the meantime, here's a few tips. Start a bedtime routine, bath, PJ's, a story, feeding, swaddle him, then down for the night (it can be any low key activities you choose). Also, if your baby is a good napper don't allow him to sleep longer than 2 1/2 hours at a time. This allows him to save his good sleep for night. Also, on the flip side don't let him get overly tired, its harder for them to get to sleep and stay asleep.
I have a 4 month old, breastfed son and he was in his crib by 8pm for the night at 12 weeks old and sleeping 8-10 hours without a feeding. "Good Night, Sleep Tight" is a great book for age appropriate sleep solutions. I also have him on the "Becoming Babywise" schedule. Having a daytime schedule helps with the night time schedule. Your goals are very reasonable and attainable, don't let anyone discourage you otherwise.

Getting an infant on a sleeping schedule is tough. For the first 3-4 months they may still be waking 1 or 2 times during the night for food. My daughter slept through the night at 7 weeks (11 pm-7am) my son didn't do it untill 4 months (10pm-7am) There is a book called BABY WISE. It discusses ways to get babies on schedules and unfortunately they need to cry it out...but this should only be a couple of nights. Good luck

A book that my husband and I found very useful when preparing for our daughter was Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. If you haven't already read something like this, you may want to pick it up. The idea is to set a schedule of eat, active, sleep time with parental flexibility and understanding that sleep begets sleep. Our daughter was sleeping through the night by 9 weeks.

Hi! I am a mom of two (3 1/2 and 11 months). From the beginning I put them both on an early bedtime. They sleep from around 7:30 to 7:00am. My son still wakes up once during the night sometimes, but sticks pretty well to this schedule. 2 months is quite early for a schedule but what we did for our daughter was just tried to move it earlier and earlier each night. 11:00 on the first night and then just move it back 15 min or so every couple of nights. It took a while but she eventually got on a good routine. I also try to make sure that they don't sleep past 3:30 or so so that they still go down at bedtime. For a younger baby you could probably let her nap a later than that but just play around with it and see what works for you. We also have a bedtime routine that we started right away with bath, lotion/jammies, then stories, and bottle and songs. It takes about a half hour but it really helps them wind down. Hope this helps!

Hi R.,
I am 34 & have 3 children. Ages 17, 11, & 5. For the 17 & 11 year old, I had no idea how to get them on a sleep schedule & like your baby, they stayed up late. I couldn't bring myself to leave them crying in bed, so I stayed up & rocked them for hours until they fell asleep. & then when I put them in their crib, they woke up & wanted me again. (Ended up in bed with us!!)

If I had followed the advise of the baby books, I could've saved the family alot of sleepless nights. So, on child #3, I finally did what the professionals advised & the benefits were well worth the few weeks it took to get there.

Step one, (you already seem to have a boy who will go to sleep himself, so this will probably be a blessing.) You have to let the baby cry himself to sleep. So be prepared for some tough moments on your heart-strings..

Step 2, Get into a ruitine of feeding your child his last feeding & then having something like a bath or singing or a radio playing lulubies that will teach your child to calm down & expect to go to bed. (I stood & rocked my baby while singing 3-4 songs.) Make sure your baby is AWAKE when you put him in his crib. Make sure his diaper is fresh, & since you just fed him, he should be good to go.

Step 3, LEAVE the room, (after you kiss & say good night.)

Step 4, if the baby cries wait for 2 minutes before you check on him. Walk in the room, check his diaper, if he's dry, say goodnight & leave the room.
If he continues to cry wait five minutes & walk in, check his diaper or burp him & leave the room.
If you're sure he's not sick, wet, or has a gas bubble, then do not go in the room anymore.
Use a monitor to hear him, & he may cry for 20 minutes the first few weeks before he goes to sleep. That's OK.

Step 5, don't wake him up for night feedings. & if he wakes up crying, don't rush to feed him. Give him 5-10 minutes to see if he'll go back to sleep. (That's the hardest part.)

I breastfed my baby for 6 months, & by the forth month, he went to sleep at 7PM and woke up at 7AM. (One night feeding at 10 or 11PM & right back to sleep.) Plus he took a three hour nap in the afternoon. (using same steps to put him down awake in his crib...) (He was adorable amusing himself & talking to himself in there as he got himself to sleep.) & I think that helped him to learn to entertain himself, because he plays well & is very imaginative with his toys now. He is now 5, robustly healthy & very smart. Early walker & talker. Not to mention loveable & secure, so don't think that doing these steps will damage your baby, (like I did with my fist 2..lol)
Good Luck!! K.

Schedules are so important for young children. Implement your work schedule now. For starters note what time you will need to get up & get going, does your child need to be wakened for this? Will he be going to a daycare? If so daycares keep the children on tight schedules... breakfast, lunch & naps are at the same times every day. Those same time frames are good to follow at home to. Bedtime schedules are great! Dinner, bathtime & bedtime routines are important. Try & do the same things at the same times every night even on the weekends. Example: If dinner is at 6:00, bathtime could be 7:00 & then you could have some cuddle time, story time, ect until about 8:00. Put baby down for bed & that frees up a little time for you & your husband before your to tired to enjoy each other! It'll be tough for the first couple of days but your son is so little yet the transitions will be easier than if he was older. Best of luck.

In your situation does he like music? You can get him a musical toy that you can place on his crib. My son really liked his musical toy. It played lullbys and it had a light on it. He got more sleep with the musical toy then he did without it. You can continue to put your child in his crib at 9 and you can sing to him. Most children that age get tired when you sing lullbys to them.

Hi R.! My son was born in October, so he's four months old now. I, too, struggled with being frustrated by his bedtime being so late. I also have two daughters (ages 8 and 4), and when they were about 6 weeks old, they started going to sleep earlier and earlier until eventually they fell asleep around 8 each night. My son, at 6 weeks, was still awake until 11. BUT, the GOOD news is that just in the past two weeks, he has started to grow sleepy earlier and earlier, and his bedtime moved from 10 to 8! I think it has everything to do with the amount/quality of naps your baby has during the day and how tired he is toward evening. But, unfortunately, in my experience as a third-time parent, I don't know of a way for you to "move" his sleepy time forward until he's ready for that. Good luck with your transition back to work and congratulations on your baby!

Honestly, I dont think you can make a 2 month old sleep for 6 hours. I actually don't think many can make it this long, usually it's closer to 4 months. I think it sounds grand, but I'm not sure it's a reasonable expectation for a baby his age. Going back to work is tough, trust me, but forcing this issue at such a young age could make the time until then miserable!
Good luck - he'll be sleeping long stretches before you know it!