Seeking Advice for Feeding a Picky Child

Updated on April 30, 2009
J.S. asks from Cherry Hill, NJ
5 answers

I have an 8 year old son who continues to refuse most of his lunch at school. This has been an ongoing challenge for over 2 years. He dislikes almost every sandwich. I have tried using a thermos and filling with soups, pasta meals, etc. and most days he only picks at his food. I have tried to involved the school to monitor his eating at lunch, but nothing seems to work on an ongoing basis. He eats breakfast and dinner, and loves snacks, but lunch at school is a problem. Any creative suggestion on what else I can send? I'm not very creative in the meal prep arena.

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B.B.

answers from Chicago on

Just curious, do you know how long your child has for eating lunch? I was pretty surprised to hear its like 15-20 minutes at my kids school. If he's a slow eater, he just might not have enough time. He's busy talking to his friends I'm sure too. My kids don't eat much at lunch either, but I think that's the problem. How do yu teach a kid to eat fast?

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D.N.

answers from Chicago on

What is the time difference between breakfast and lunch? When my son was in 1st and 2nd grades, even 3rd I think, they went to lunch at 11. He just was not hungry at that time so he also picked at his food. And yes my son is a picky eater as well. It got to the point that lunch for him was an apple and a granola bar, with milk from school to drink. When he got home he got a snack and later dinner. Now that they go to lunch at 12 or so, he eats more.

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D.T.

answers from Chicago on

I would be careful what you feed him for breakfast. I wouldn't give him anything sugary. Also only a healthy snack at school (pretzles, popcorn, apple slices. Have you thought of letting him get hot lunch at school? It's actualy cheaper than buying and making your self. Maybe no snack till after dinner! Instead get a bedtime snack. Hope this helps!!
D. T

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M.O.

answers from Chicago on

J.,

My kids are small, and we don't have eating issues. However I was a "thin" child growing up and my mom and I often got into fights about how much (or really how little) I ate. I will tell you this, no amount of fighting or nagging is going to help. When I wasn't hungry, I just wasn't.

I would encourage you to limit her "snacks" and other lunch food to healthy choices. When I had the choice, of course I would pick the chips, the lunchables, and overall, the sugar.

My mom took the approach, much later in my life, of ok, you don't want to eat, that's fine. But if and when I did want to eat it was milk, fruit, whole grains and protein.

I will also throw out there that I think some of the "picky eaters" are manipulating their parents with food. That said, I can certainly see how as a parent worrying about your child's health and nutrition can of course, be very disconcerting. What I'm suggesting is don't turn it into a fight. Don't let your child manipulate you. I have discussed this with our pediatrician, and she confirms, "Kids will eat when they are hungry and sleep when they are tired."

Try to take the stand of only healthy foods in the lunches. When your child comes home, don't give in JUST to get him/her to eat. Don't let them pick the snacks, or if you do, make sure that your house is only stocked with healthy options. Even my own children have "their days" when they don't seem to eat anything. The pediatrician said this is called camelling. Kids will eat and eat and eat and then it all gets backed up in their instestines. They feel "full". Once they have a BM, they will be in search of food again. Growth spurts - need food. Slow growth times - lack of food.

Be patient and trust yourself. Try not to worry. And try not to label your child (so s/he doesn't see himself as a "picky eater"...otherwise he may expect to be catered to with foods you know he'll eat.) Take a page from my mom's book. Don't give in. Just say, "OK, eat when you're hungry then." and don't bother with the sandwiches if they aren't being eaten. Give a cheese stix, fruit and crackers. If the school has questions, tell them your child is choosing/trying vegetarianism.

Best of luck. I really hope this passes. You're a great mom.

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P.K.

answers from Chicago on

Wow is it an 8 yr old thing going on? My 8 yr old daughter is doing the same thing to me. She refuses to eat her sandwiches at lunch. She will ask for a ham and turkey sandwich we make it and she either throws it out or gives it to her brother to eat (who already is eating his own sandwich). She is very picky and won't eat peanut butter and jelly (she hates jelly). We have tried cutting them in cute pieces or allowing her to make her own sandwich and still she won't eat. She eats her chips and snack at lunch but refuses to eat a sandwich. I tried everything. She does enjoy the lunchables, but its hard for me to continue to purchase those on a daily basis because I have 4 in school and they are just too expensive for me to purchase as a daily lunch. I don't mind buying them once a month for a fun lunch day but we have discussed trying to buy them strictly for her until we figure out what we can do to get her to eat. So maybe you can try a few of those out and see how he responds to eating them. Its like they can build their own lunch. She loves the pizza ones.

Good luck to you! I know its frustrating. I had the school call me once and tell me she didn't get a sandwich at lunch and I said oh yes she does everyday she just chooses not to eat it even though at times she makes it! The teacher has finally seen that she just dont like eating the sandwich.

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