Hello mommies!! My deepest apologies for any rambling or misspelled words... I'm fighting some kind of cold and can't think clearly!!!
Ok, here's the situation, my little-big man is potty training. He's wearing big boy undies and is doing great going upstairs and going potty on his own. However, he has mixed feelings about going poop on the big boy potty. I will explain -- he pooped on the potty at grandma's house, but is "afraid" to go on potty at home. Wednesday, he would go up to potty, tell me he had to poop, would sit there for a little while, and then tell me he was done. This process repeated for every attempt - approx. 6 or 7 tries. I told him not to be afraid, that it is the same at grandma's as it is at home, and that he couldn't hold it in because it would give him a big belly ache. Thursday, he tried only once or twice. Today, he went upstairs to look for a toy, a few minutes later called for me to come up, and as soon as I got half way up the stairs [please excuse my description, as this is all i could think of after what i saw!!] he looked as if he was about to throw up something larger than himself, he then began shaking all over and convulsing. Then all of a sudden he was ok...... and then I could smell the poop. He had held it in for soooo long, that it was that extreme when he did try to go.....
The only thing I could think of that brought on this fear of the potty, is the day that we were at my mom's house, he pooped on the potty, but he sat there for a while, and his legs and feet fell asleep -- major cramps that took forever to work out. (we just saw pediatrician re: this.... he has flat feet and needs shoes with a good arch support or insoles) I have heard it is a pretty common thing for #2 to be an issue for all kids who are potty training..... Any moms out there have any experience with something similar to this? How do I deal with this?! I don't want to see him go through that again!
P.S. I need you all to be aware of the fact that he ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY, DOES NOT LIKE PRAISE OF ANY KIND!!!!! If he goes on the potty, I wink at him and give him his "reward". That's it!! U don't dare say, "Good job" or anything even remotely close to it!!! We used to do "high 5's", but he doesn't like that anymore either!!! This goes for any and everything he does....
EDIT -- We do have a step stool, and the seat thingy with the handles. EDIT #2 -- Ok mommies.. ..1st - Thanks for all your input, as this is a stressful time for both of us. I am putting all the blame on myself though, because I am very sick right now and my patience level is WAY lower than normal. (Daddy works a lot, so this responsibility is primarily mine right now.) 2nd -- I showed him the backwards position on the potty, and the backwards potty seat. Of course, his response was "NOOOO!!!" Thanks to the mom with the idea of the pull-ups for poops. I am going to try that so he doesn't become more afraid and I traumatize him or something.
More Answers
J.P.
answers from
Boise
on
My son hasn't had this fear yet, but we go in with him and talk, and sing and he just goes. He does have a stool, and a seat with handles. I would see if you can talk about why he is afraid. If it seems to be about the legs falling asleep, you may try describing it in a funny way - all tingly and tickly, and feeling like you are going to fall down? Make legs going to sleep not a scary thing. You don't say how old he is, so I'm not sure if that will work or not, but it is worth a try.
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B.W.
answers from
Pittsburgh
on
i dont have experience with it, but could you get a little potty so that his feet don't have to dangle?
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D.P.
answers from
Pittsburgh
on
Backwards on the potty! He can rest his hands on the tank...or look at a book.
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V.F.
answers from
Scranton
on
Try reading a book to him. This is what I did with my son. He started to go pee by sitting down, then all of a sudden he wanted to stand when he saw daddy peeing. Well that always kind've messes with things. So to get him to relax I would read him books. Sometimes it was several but once he got the hang of things and realized it was a good thing to sit on the potty and go he was fine.
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J.B.
answers from
Albany
on
i would suggest putting a stool or something to put under his feet so they do not go numb. I will also suggest to put it on the toilet backwards. My 2.5 year old poops on the pot backwards because he feels like he isnt going to fall in and he can see when it goes into the toilet and he gets excited and flushes it then yells "sombody come wipe me". Good Luck
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C.S.
answers from
Philadelphia
on
My ped told me not to make my child go poop on the potty until she was ready. She said what happened to your son could happen, and that can cause more problems down the road that are hard to deal with. She said cut my daughter a deal, and that if she asked me for a diaper/pull up to poop, she could have one. it worked great, she told me when she needed it, went, and I put her back in big girl undies.
Then what i started to do was not speak to her when i changed the poopy diaper. from the moment i took off the diaper until she had undies on again, i wouldn't talk. She really didn't like this, and she knew i was "sad" she was still using her baby diapers and then i was "happy" once her big girl undies were on. one day she said she wanted to go poopy on the potty, and she said "is mommy happy now??" and i said YES!!! with lots of hugs. and she's been fine on the potty ever since.
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K.N.
answers from
Philadelphia
on
My son was doing the same thing. He would hold it for so long knowing that he wasn't suppose to go in his underwear and then finally he would get to point where he couldn't hold it any longer. Not sure what it was that made hime OK with going but I know that first time that he did try to go on the potty we were sitting in the bathroom for 45 minutes! I think if he's willing to try to and sit like you mentioned you need find a way to keep him entertained for a bit longer so he has time to relax. I also would remind him of his treat when I could tell that he was uncomfortable. That usually gets him to go sit.
