Wow... this is hard.
1) perhaps a re-evaluation of his med's would be a good idea. It sometimes takes several attempts to find the one that most suits a child.
2) perhaps, feed him foods which will not adversely affect his ADD condition.. there are many resources online for that.
3) If this Counselor is not making strides with him, find another one.
4) He probably does not care, if he gets kicked out of school, due to his violence... BUT, most kids do this because they are lacking something... whether it be a good "male" role model, or a real comforting Parent at home, or they are being lost in the shuffle and given no REAL attention or consistency.
5) Sometimes, kids like this act this way, because they have given up on others being there for them... or just given up on anything and they feel "alone" and that no one cares. And it is what they are used to...
6) Does he have a MALE role-model, or Parent figure? Perhaps, getting a "big brother" for him would be good. The organization "Big Brothers/Big Sisters" is really great. My friend, a single Parent, utilized them for her son, who is also ADHD, and it made a HUGE difference. Here is the link for it:
http://www.bbbs.org/site/c.diJKKYPLJvH/b.1539751/k.BDB6/H...
7)behavior like this is multi-pronged. It is a CONJUNCTION of things that creates a child like this. So... it takes a variety of things to help them, in conjunction.
But, the emotional issues/problems of a child, gets manifested in BEHAVIORAL problems, such as this. So, to me, the emotional issues HAS TO be tackled, primarily, and it is the "root" of a tree. NOT just his treating his "ADD" label- the "leaves." To create a solid sturdy reliable tree... you can't just treat the "leaves" you gotta care for the roots, the soil, the trunk etc. Giving it whatever it needs to thrive and grow and not whither away...and not just taking care of it if it is sunny.
His whole life seems to be in CONSTANT upheaval, no child would have an easy time with that. A special needs child NEEDS someone they can count on... consistently. This makes or breaks a child. Or anyone for that matter.
I know its a real tangled web... but, it will take a village to help him... and consistency, and he has to "learn" that people do care for him, do want to help him, that he does not have to "test" everyone for their loyalty or just to get attention, and that he has unconditional love.
It's gonna take time... gaining his "understanding" has to be earned and proven... to a child like this. Many times, they don't "trust."
I would find him another counselor as well... and perhaps a support group. He seems to also NEED to just have FUN.... he does not seem to know or understand that a child can just have fun and enjoy life. BUT he does display lots of "anger" and "frustration" in his life.... THIS is his acting-out.
To me, he basically sounds like a "lonely", angry, alienated child, who has lots of frustrations and lack of consistency and who has not had someone who really believes in him, TRULY. Also, "tough" kids often act like this because they are actually "insecure" or sensitive... or very "feeling." Probably, he is tender-hearted inside... and no one has reached him yet, in this manner. Maybe.
*adding this: it seems he also needs to learn "coping" skills... which he lacks. ALL children has "stress" too, like adults, and they can't cope. They are not mature enough or may not have the skills or ability. COPING "skills" needs to be taught as well... and this may teach him to "vent" in more positive and "acceptable" ways. If he is creative...perhaps art or the performing arts might be a good OUTLET for him? Or something else... does he have any interests? "Nurture" it... help him have a "voice" and a "safe" way to express himself. Art can OFTEN times be very therapeutic... for any "problem."
Mind you, not all ADD kids, are the same. My friend's son (ADHD), is not like this... but, it took work, and he has a strong family unit and support at home.
All the best,
Susan