Seeking Advice About Toddlers Language Development.

Most school districts will do free speech evaluations for birth to 3. He might be slightly developmentally delayed in speech. As a teacher, I would recommend having him evaluated. Best case scenario shows there is nothing wrong and you've spent an afternoon finding this out. Worst case scenario he may need speech therapy for a few months. One of my best friends (another teacher) was concerned about her son and found out that he was delayed by seven months in terms of speech. After a short stint at speech therapy, he was fine.

My 5 year old was similar...his speech seemed behind the other 2-3 year olds. He spoke in short sentences and was shy to speak at preschool. He also mixed up his words within sentences (and still does sometimes). I had him evaluated when they came around at preschool and was told he was borderline (we could do something or wait and see). At the same time he was having trouble speaking he was reading and spelling words (at 2 1/2!). So we didn't know what to think! We ended up with the wait and see approach and he is totally fine now....completely within the normal range for kindergarten. I guess they all develop at their own pace! So while you may decide to test now just know there is a wide spectrum of "normal" for 2-3 year olds.

I taught preschool for 5 years before having children of my own and I think you need to give him more time. We had several little kids at school who didn't talk. They did eventually start talking to me and then more to family members after some time. I had one little boy who was 3 and still not talking much. Don't worry. One of my best friends little girl was really quiet till she was almost 3 and she is very very smart....they say Einstein didn't speak till he was 4 years old. Ask him questions and wait for him to give you an answer. Try to help him understand how to pronounce the words. Say silly, fun phrases and try to get him to repeat after you....make it fun.

Relax, your son is normal. I went through this with my first son and allowed myself to be coerced and harassed into putting him in speech therapy and had to endure ignorant remarks and inquiries from all quarters--parents, in-laws, babysitters, virtual strangers. Busybodies who don't have a clue! Speech therapy was a waste of time and money. I would never recommend it to anyone just as a remedy for perceived "late" talking.

My son didn't say anything until he was a few weeks shy of his third birthday. We were beside ourselves because he let us know what he wanted by screaming. Then one day he said, "Mommy look at that big bulldozer". As clear as anything. The words were in there; they just had to come at his own pace. His diction is very clear and his vocabulary is exceptional. And the screaming stopped immediately.

Don't let yourself be pushed into therapy or treatment or anything else you're not comfortable with. A big reason why this is now so popular is that there is lots of federal funding for it through that No Child Left Behind Act. My sister teaches a group of 3 yo kids and said that it's the biggest joke--they are all in "speech therapy". 100% of them. It's the new fad, like playing opera next to your belly when you're pregnant. That's not to say that there aren't some children who genuinely need intervention. But it has become almost stylish! And it's often pushed not by well-intentioned people but by people who want to access those funds.

There's a good book out about late talkers that you might want to take a look at. The author is actually an economist whose son was a late talker (and through this experience he noticed a trend toward misdiagnosis of these kids as autistic--again, often as a way of getting funding for treatment). The first book was ancedotal, but the second is the result of a large study (at Stanford, I believe) that proved his original thesis. It's called "Einstein Syndrome: Bright Children Who Talk Late" by Thomas Sowell.

Most of all, relax. You're a good mom. Every kid is an individual and they all do things at a different pace. Don't let anyone bully you into thinking that you're not doing the right thing.

My son was very mechanically inclined - had excellent small and large motor skills, however, he was challenged in the speech department - he would speak in very short sentences or would substitute dramatic sounds for the actual words (i.e. vroom vroom = car, wolf, wolf = dog...etc..) . Through our school district, when he turned 3 years old, he went through a free preschool evaluation. He qualified for speech and actually took speech, through the school district, until the beginning of 2nd grade. Amazingly, in the whole time that he took speech, the classes were mainly boys. His cognitive speech was fine, it was more phonics that was worked on (i.e. consonant/consonant blends...etc...) Personally, I would mention this to your pediatrician and see what they say. At the very least, call your school dist. and see when they do the preschool screening-our school dist. would not do the testing before my son was three.

I thought the testing was very interesting and it's probably good to get him evaluated if YOU feel there is a problem. Don't let your relatives bully you - you're the mom. I chose not to send my son to 3 year old preschool because he wasn't that shy about communicating - you just couldn't understand what he was saying and I didn't want him to be intimidated about speaking. There were "speech games" that we worked on each week, per the speech pathologist's homework assignments. By four years old - his speech improved. By 7 1/2, he graduated from speech class!

My son was just always very busy plus, he has a sister, who is 3 years older who constantly "translated" for him. Years later, I still see a few of the boys who were in his speech classes, ....... these boys are still in constant motion! My son is 10 years old and speaks very well. Good luck.

I was in the same exact position. My first, Max, was almost 3 before it clicked for him. My mom (a Phd in psychology) told me that it is at the 30-month mark that a majority of kids "get it" with respect to language. I waited (despite the same "concerns" from friends) and I'm glad I did. He eventually was evaluated through the public school district prior to kindergarten and he was found to have some "age appropriate" language problems (difficulties with pronouncing "v"). They did not recommend speech therapy and said it will come with age. Now, my second Ben, was a prolific speaker at age 2! Every child is different and will progress at their own age. As long as you think that he's developing normally in other areas (and "normal" is a very wide range), I would not worry. BTW, I am 39, lawyer; husband is college educated and owns his own business. Our house is full of books. It's not you, it's just your son's own development path.

I would not worry about it, just encourage him to "use his words" and also I would say don't focus on his shyness, but try and bring him out and into things you do with the baby..and family, and when he is involved you are empowering him and he will grow. Also give him a lot of praise when he does communicate to others. We shout and scream YAH when we were going thru this. I had a shy one and this really worked for one of the twins. sounds like he has a lot going on in his world. I am 37 mother of 4 daughters. 18, 16 and 3 1/2 twins.

Sounds like everyone BUT you and your husband thinks there's a problem. And having another baby totally affects the situation. He sounds normal. Just talk to your pediatrician, and when your pediatrician (who is supposed to be an expert in child development) says he's normal, then you can tell your relatives, "The doctor says he's right on schedule."

My 2 year-old son is a completely different kid in public than at home. Not even the friends we see for play group every week believe he's the motormouth he is at home, because all they hear from him are one-word comments "train" and "bye bye."

If your relatives aren't listening to you tell them he's different when he's with you, then you're not obligated to update them further. A simple smile and a "thank you, he's fine" or no comment at all is appropriate. (I have a problem with my MIL about this, but the opposite -- she insists my 2 yo never NEEDED his therapies!)

I.,
My son is just about 19 months old and at his 18 month check up, my pedi told me that he may be speech delayed, which is the first red flag for autism. Well, needless to say, I have been told by 2 people who work very closely with autistic children that he shows no signs of being autistic. This being said, we called Easter Seals and set up an evaulation with Children and Family Connections. They will be coming out to our home on November 18th to evaluate him for his speech delay. It is a free service, and if they find he will need therapy, they only charge you on what your income is (I believe they charge no more than $20 a month). Unfortunately, I do not have the number handy, but I am sure ou can find it on the internet.
Good Luck!

I., evaluations are usually FREE and they typically also evaluate fine/gross motor skills, interpersonal, etc. If there is any issue, it sometimes can take a few months to get going on speech therapy. I'm speaking from experience because we waited until my son was past the 2yr milestone to evaluate and he did qualify for therapy, but there was a waiting period for a therapist so we started about 2 months later. I think that it is better to be proactive in this situation and what is nice is you will also get feedback on what areas you son excells in!
Best of Luck--J., mom and home daycare provider

Having a special needs child myself, my encouragement to parents concerned about their child's development is this: it can't hurt to get the evaluation. It is free and then you can have peace of mind for yourself and proof that everything is fine to those that question it. And if for some reason he is showing signs of being delayed it can be taken care of now, rather than later, where it will be more difficult for him.

Good Luck! If you want to talk, feel free to msg me!

The language spectrum is sooooo huge, that I would not worry. My mom told me, after having my first, that I spoke very little until I was a little over 3 and now she can not get me to shut up =)! (which my hubby promptly agreed =) ) My daughter is VERY shy and for the longest time she would take time to even warm up to her grandparents (that she sees oftern). I would wait. One good thing for our daughter was pre-school for a year, but this year she is in kindergarten and she is really coming out of her shell. Remember that you are your childs best advocate and listen to that mommy voice deep in you and you will know what to do. Good Luck

I., I agree with Lisa. There are free evaluations for youngsters of this age. We also had my son evaluated because he was very very late in talking. The person who tested him was very educated and explained why he was delayed. It made total sense when she explained it. It was nice to know and put my mind at ease. Check with your daycare provider to see who does the testing in your area. They can do it at daycare or home. I would suggest home because then you are there to ask any questions you may have.

I., My son who is now 6 does have a speech impairment and has since he was able to talk. Your son talking in 2 word sentences is great! And there is no need to get him checked. He is just being shy and dont listen to what others are saying! Now if his Dr says something then that is a different story but he/she will probably tell you the samething as Iam. Also since your family loves to read so much my I recommend the Leapfrog books with the pen that your child moves across the word and it pronounces the word for him. It is a great learning system. Good Luck to you and your family! K.

I wouldn't be too concerned. Maybe your relatives don't hear him talk as much as you do because he's shy. Also my 4 year old started playing baby talk after her second little brother was born. But if you are concerned an eval can't hurt. Hopfully you could get something free through the school district.

I wouldn't worry too much yet. Children are all different and do things at different rates. Get hubbys nose out of the books and have him talk to the little guy about everything and anything. He needs both of you talking to him. Play all kinds of games and music and put him on yours laps and read to him something that he'de love (with pictures so he will want to know who, what, where, when, & why). Peak the little guys interests and he'll want to learn and you'll be doing him a favor for his school going years. Good luck mommy

On one hand, your son may just be a late bloomer when it comes to talking. (I didn't start talking until I was 3 and haven't shut up since.) On the other hand, my nephew was the same when he was that age. However, he was diagnosed with mutism. He could only speak to his parents and younger brother...no other family members! At school he could not speak to anyone...not even to his friends. This went on for many years. He had a teachers assistant with him in school and saw many therapists after school. (He was not speaking to any of these people either.) We have yet to figure out what his breakthrough was but on the last day of school 2 years ago he spoke to his teacher. From then on it was as if he had been speaking to everyone all the time. He does have a speech problem...he is 11 now and has a baby-ish way of talking. Just something to look into if your son continues to speak only to you and your husband but no one else. Good luck!

Do it now--Early Intervention is free until 3 years of age. Can't hurt to do an evaluation.

My advice is to be patient. If his care providers have concerns, you'll want to look into it more, since they are familiar with the range of progress for his age group. But if they haven't requested testing, he's probably fine. Both of my sons were slow to walk and slow to talk, but now they are very athletic and in advanced classes. I have nothing against early intervention, but I feel it may be overused. If you, your husband, your son, and his caretakers are comfortable, wait it out.

The child I nanny for also has some language issues and I have suggested to her parents that they look in to it too. There's no harm in checking it out. If nothing is wrong then at least you can get on with it but if there something more you can be doing then why not nip the problem in the bud? I also read that there is a difference between "language knowledge" and "verbal skills". They may think they are saying it and understand the words when spoken too but it gets lost in the translation when they try to repeat it back.

Has your son always preferred to speak in baby language or has that changed since your new baby was born? Does he speak in 2-word sentences with you and your husband and only speak in baby talk with others? Do you or your husband speak to him in a language other than English on a regular basis? Does he speak to his new baby brother/sister or a pet? If he speaks in baby talk to you, how do you know he's capable of 2-word sentences or does he go back and forth between them.

With language, as with everything else, children find their way at their own pace. And the presence of a second language doesn't interfere but it can appear that way to outsiders (i.e. anyone NOT the child!). PLUS, development is not linear. We go back and forth between things that we know and things we're exploring and things we feel safe with and things we'd like to try out. Do YOU and your husband talk to him a great deal throughout his day? DO you listen to him as you would any speaker and respond we you would with anyone? Do YOU speak baby talk to him? Or did you? Perhaps he misses that. Perhaps --he's only 2 after all--he thinks that baby talk is the way to talk. Do you speak to the new baby in baby talk and to him in people talk? He might not like that either. Or may not understand why you talk baby talk to one and no longer to him.

ANd DO READ READ READ to him AND his sibling every single day. YEs, even the baby. ANd what nice one-on-one time that makes for you and/or your husband and him. AND one-on-one with the baby as well. ANd that could easily evolve into your son "reading" to his baby. Adults tend to underestimate the importance of reading to infants and young children,thinking they don't get it. Just do it. Anytime. Read while they're playing cars. Read while he's sitting in the bathtub. And of course going to bed. And recite funny poems in the car. And play language games while you're waiting in line for whatever. Sandra Boynton's books are delightful for your children.. My boys can still recite with me (with far less pleasure than when they were little, of course.) Moo Baa LALALA....They're now 13 and 11. And let him see you reading, too. He can have his book and sit next to you while you each read. Of course, eventually (like in 2 minutes) he'll want you to read to him. Enjoy. I still read every night to my children.

For a 2 year, 3-month-old child to be able use 2-word sentences, it's unlikely that he's "delayed." And I do wish adults would relax a bit around children and let them emerge at their own pace. Certainly, if at 3, he's still preferring baby talk and hasn't progressed, you can consider evaluation, but he's 2. AND he has a new baby. ENjoy his language development as it occurs. Be aware of HIS patterns. And if you're still concerned in a year, an evaluation might be appropriate.

I taught French, Italian, ESL, linguistics, language development and methods classes for several years before I had children. I do not consider myself an expert. I learned more from being a mom and an attentive aunt than from the textbooks. Trust your instincts and your experience. Be honest with yourself in asking if you're giving him the attention he needs and deserves at such a tender age. They're lovely creatures, these 2-year-olds and they have so very much going on. Their language development is a miracle to behold and you can learn so much just from watching them grow. Keep a journal. That will help you keep track of his development and should you need it talk to a professional when the time comes.

Enjoy. Many blessings. Contact me if you'd like.

My 6 yo was the same way ... my relatives didn't hear a word out of her until she was over 3 LOL! She was just a very quiet, reserved little girl who liked to sit and watch everything around her. If your son is talking to you and your dh and it sounds appropriate for his age (2 word sentences is awesome!), I wouldn't worry about it right now. And try not to let your relatives push him to talk when he doesn't want to. When he's ready, he will ... my 6 yo can now be quite a motormouth sometimes! Sounds to me like you're doing a great job! Keep reading to him ... that's my favorite thing!

An early evaluation can't hurt and if there is anything needing attention, getting the help early is best. In all likelihood, there is nothing wrong and you will be relieved. Some children are indeed just quiet by nature. If he says two word phrases, then he sounds like he is on track for his age. But an evaluation can be helpful.

You could contact Early Intervention in your county for a free evaluation for your peace of mind. If your son does have a speech delay then they will set up speech therapy in your home for free and if he doesn't then you will know that he just needs more time. Since I don't know what county you are in, I can't tell you who to contact but if you email me privately, I would be happy to help you find your service provider! Hope this helps!!

D. L.

Hi I.,

My son is 2 years and 3 months also and it sounds like he is going through the same thing. I have scheduled an evaluation for him next week with Child & Family connection they are coming to my house. I was hesitant also but, I posted a request on MAMA SOURCE for advice and the responses came back with the majority to get him evaluated, it can't hurt. I have the number for the Naperville area it is ###-###-####. He has to be at least 30% for them to go ahead with the therapy. The fee is based on your income. If you would like to chat e-mail me.
Good Luck,

Jackie

Go with your gut on this one. My daughter is the same age, and harddly uttered a word until she turned two, then bam...it's been non-stop talking ever since. Boys in general also tend to talk later, though not always. AAre you seeing other signs of things that lead you to beleive there are problems...like not understanding you when spoken to, or not likeing physical touch, or no eye contact? Also, I think it's so huge for kids to have a new sibling brought home, and we as adults figure that by 2 or 3 months, they should just be adjusted. My son was closer to four when we brought our daughter home, and although initially he did really well with this, he started to act, and talk like a baby as well...some because I think he wanted the attention, and somewhat because look at how we talk to our babies. Now your son is still somewhat a baby for sure, and doesn't have the vocabulary to accompany his feelings yet, so maybe this is his way of processing...? My son hardly uttereda word to strangers, or even people he knew well until he was almost four years old (funny how that coincided with a little one being brought home). He was painfully shy...at his daycare they recommended I see a specialist to check for autism. He talked a lot by two at home, and through that whole second year his vocabulary emerged by leaps andd bounds with us. Maybe he is shy, maybe he just is a quiet person. If it makes you feel better have him evailuated by the school, but it's probably him just adjusting. Good luck and hope this helps.

Having a new baby in the house TOTALLY plays a part in your sons development or choice to "regress" not that I think that is happening, but sometimes children that age want to be "baby" again and go back to things they have out grown like, potty training, wanting to be held/carried or language. Not talking at daycare isn't really a sign. I taught a young girl who didn't say ONE WORD all day at school but then one time she was with her mother in the hall and I heard her. Clear as a bell, vocabulary beyond her years, and a totally different personality. You are this child's mother and if you don't feel there is a problem, at this young age, go with your gut! It sounds like you are doing your homework and educating yourself. What you get from others (including me) is one person's view and you are the only one who can really know what is right for your child.
Also, I read someone say ask the pediatrician, but we went to a ped that (at our first visit with him at 16+ mos) recommended language intervention for my son and he is perfectly normal...talks all the time now. I found out later that this Dr. recommends it to most of his patients. After that we never went back to him.

###-###-#### is the number for Childhood and Family services in Joliet. They will evaluate your child for free. They come to your house if you would like. In Oct someone else wrote in with the same concerns so you can find it and read the replies .Hope this helps:)

You have nothing to lose by having him evaluated. It's free, and can cause no negative effects. However, if your son does have developmental delays, early intervention can help ENORMOUSLY. Do not hesitate.

This information was provided to me by Easter Seals:

"Most of the time, differences between children of the same age are nothing to worry about. But for one child in 10, the difference can be related to a developmental delay. If you have any questions or concerns about your child's growth and development, call Help Me Grow/Future for Kids helpline at 1-800-323-GROW (4769). They can provide you with answers."

Good luck!

My 2 year old son has a speech issue. I have two older kids who were early talkers. Now the third one has come along and although he tries to talk it comes out very slurred, like he is trying to make the sounds, but can't. I asked my pediatrician to evaluate him at 2 years and 3 months, and he agreed that there seemed to be a speech issue. After being evaluated by a speech therapist, it turns out he has low muscle tone in his facial muscles.

I would recommend getting your pediatrician's opinion. Then if he agrees there is an issue, get a referral. It's better to tackle any speech issues early on. Once your child is school age, he may qualify for free speech therapy through your school district. My son is now 2 1/2 and has been in speech therapy for 6 weeks. Already I am starting to see some improvements.

Your new baby may have a lot to do with your son's "shyness". Regardless, having him evaluated by Early Intervention is free and totally worth the peach of mind. I had a great experience with EI.