Five Year Old Refuses to Poop

Allsion,
My son had the same exact issue. I found that it was key not to push him. My Doctor told me to put Miralax (mild softener) in his water or juice. It did help but don't push, he will do it. My son was potty trained to except fo teh pooping part. He started to poop on the potty right before his 5th birthday. I promise you; it will happen on his own pace!
C. Powell

Hello A., I had the same problem with my daughter. She would only poop at night in her diaper. Then on her first day of school she came home and finaly pooped on the potty. Never had a problem with that again, she is 16 now. I asked the doctor and he said that sometimes they need to just figure it out on their own. Sometimes they just need to see that other children their age are going on the potty and doing what they are suppose to do.
I know it is a long road, but he will surprise you on day soon.

Hi A.,

My daughter started holding her poop when she was almost 3 after she was on medication that gave her diarrhea and her bottom was sore. She was afraid to go because she said it hurt. My friend told me to give her apple juice and it worked! It made her poop soft and helped her go and she saw it didn't hurt. I had to do this for a few days and give her a treat every time she pooped on the potty (she's trained). We even did a poopy on the potty song and dance so she would feel proud and encouraged! For her to poop in the potty the very first time, I had to make the stakes pretty high. She got to go to Chuck E Cheese and have some chocolate! She has been potty trained for months now and is still so proud of herself for going by herself that I give her a little treat. At this point, she goes in the bathroom by herself, pulls down her pants and underwear and goes by herself without me reminding her and then just calls me to wipe her when she's done. Hope that helps!

M. Targi
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This is a very common problem with kids being potty trained. What worked for me with my daughter who also would hold her bm's because she didn't want to go on the potty is to give her a teaspoon of honey right after a meal (I chose lunch). I researched solutions and found out that honey has a natural laxative effect. Don't fear it isn't anything like a regular laxative it just makes the urge to have a bm a little bit stronger than they can resist/hold. It worked great. After a couple of days, giving her one teaspoon each day, she got used to the sensation of having a bm on the potty and all was better. Hope this helps you too.

Well my son had the same issue

What i did was switch to cloth diapers
http://www.gdiapers.com/

It worked well, even thru the night.

When he pooped, we would dump the poop in the big potty and let him see where it goes, I always let him flush, then I swish the cloth diaper in the toilet water to get the rest off the poop off. and then let him flush.

seeing this really changed his mind set on where poop goes.

then during the day heavy training under pants.
and a sip of my morning coffee.

this helped me time when his poops would come
and of course stimulated his bowels to move.

I kept the potty chair in the bathroom, and asked him to sit there, every morning for 5 minutes, NO MORE THAN THAT, I set an egg timer and left he room. no books nothing.

after the timer went off he could come out, even if he didn't poop.

this became a routine for about a week.

Of course he was pooping his cloth diaper and we were flushing.

After about 2 weeks he finally pooped the potty.

and about 2 weeks after that we transitioned to big potty.

Now he sleeps thru the night with out a diaper and never has accidents.

Other things I did

I scheduled play dates with children whom had an older sibling, so that he could see them using the potty and this really worked well,

( 5-6 year olds are the best a t teaching the potty)

we watched the potty video every 3 days or so

I tried no to put too much pressure on him.

One thing I have not mananged to figure out is how to get them to wipe , or wipe well LOL.

Email if you wanna talk

M

you are not alone...... i have a three year old son almost four in jan. and he is the same, he will not go poop on the potty, he wants a diaper also. i tried to sit him on the potty and read books when he asks for a diaper, but i only ended up sitting for a long time, i did try having him sit on the potty while i pretended to try to find a diaper, tha worked once with a little resistance and crying to get off he went but didnt even know it, but then again he figured out what i was doing and then started not telling me he had to go he would just hold in for days at a time, the only other advice i can share is what my doctor told me and that was to give him a diaper, especially so he doesnt get backed up and that he will go when he is ready.....i still try to convince him to go on the potty but i dont push the issue to hard because then he gets very stubborn and wont tell me when he had to go in general, he will just hold it in.
hope this helps, at least to know you are not alone at least, if you do eventually find something that works please pass it along.
sahm of a three year old boy and a 20 month old girl

Just to make you feel better - we are in the same exact boat w/ our daughter (who is 3 yrs old but I have this feeling that she's going to be doing the same thing until 4).

The way I make myself feel better about it is to say to myself that she's not going to do that forever....even if it takes til 5 yrs old - I'm sure she'll grow out of it.

And it doesn't infringe on anybody - it's only once a day -and the daycare doesn't have to deal w/ it because she always poops at home before or after school.

We just keep encouraging her to poop on the potty whenever she asks for the diaper, and offer to read her books while she's doing it, and giving her a "prize / present" if she does it - but we try not to pressure her too much about or stress ourselves over it.

If that helps at all....

I run a dayacer and have found that some children have a hard time letting go or saying goodbye to their poop. I find that if we start by placing a star or sticker chart in the bathroom for training this helps with getting them excited. I would start with the chart for poops only. Then I would first with taking a dirty diaper and putting the poop into the potty with child watching and sing a bye bye song. This may help with the stress of trying to go poop on the potty the next time. You can also have the poopy fairy send a letter to your son saying that poopy really does like to go intot he toilet because it can then go be with all the other poops. Or whatever you can think of. This sounds silly and may sound even a little weird, but children in my program have really done well with it.

I had a similar problem with one of my boys. I found he didn't like to go on the potty chair. He wanted to go on the toilet! Like a big boy! Once we gave the toilet a try he was fine after that. He told me he was afraid the poop was gonna get him on the potty but it can't if he's on the toilet cause it's in the water!

Give it a try. Maybe it will work for you, too.

My friend took her son to the doctor for this same issue. The doctor told the Mother they would have to go see a specialist if he didn't stop pooping in a diaper. He then went on to tell the Mother what kind of tests would be done at the specialist (all in front of my Friends son). He also talked about the nasty tasting medications he may have to take. It worked. They went home after the appointment and he pooped in the toilet. The doctor said that some times just talking to them as an adult does the trick. (This also worked with my daughter who would not talk at 18 months old. The doctor looked at her in the eyes and said " I know you know how to talk but if you don't start soon you will have to see a speech therapist." She then went on to describe what that meant to her. It worked by the following week my 18 month old was speaking in complete sentences.)

Well this may sound harsh but it worked for us. I just refused to give him a diaper and everytime he had to poop I made him go on the potty. I tried the nice way with talk and snacks and prizes. I went as far as putting the portable dvd player in there with him. I also bought the big boy seat that went on the big potty he used it the first day and now that he has it down he told me he doesn't need it..hmmph $15 and he dont' need it..hehehe. The tough love worked and he is finally putting his poop in the potty. He also said that he didn't want to poop cause he was scared. I asked why he said cause he didn't want the poop to come out of his butt because I have a younger son also I just said shawn wears diapers because he is a baby and you are a big boy. Then I named other people (males) who pooped in the potty. His grandfather, dad, some of his friends, etc. He has now been going both on the potty for about 3 wks. He was pee trained at like 2 yrs and 8 mnths, he will be 4 in September.

It's called with-holding. It's so common that it actually has a name. And I'm sure if you looked Hallmark would have a card for it. Anyway, the thing to do is put him in under pants and let it fly. When you notice that he has to "go" put him on your lap facing you with his legs strattling yours. Bounce him up and down. He won't be able to hold it in and he'll have to go. The problem is that he's afraid that it's going to hurt if he goes on the potty. So kids become afraid to see the "poopie flushed" like it's a part of themselves. But what I explained above is what my cousins doc suggested she do for her twin girls. And it worked.