P.,
I am in the same boat! I was married this summer to my wonderful, sweet, amazing husband and I also now have a sweet-natured 15 yo stepson who has always struggled in school. We have also decided to homeschool and we also live in DE. I won't go in to the difficulties he has experienced in school, but we have spent the summer trying to figure out what we are going to do. We have decided to homeschool him through the Back to Basics Homeschool support program. It isn't cheap, but he will be getting the private tutoring he needs in academic areas. We are also enrolling him in a homeschool umbrella program that offers classes. This way the teachers teach their classes and the students turn their work back into the teacher who then grades it, etc. The only homeschooling we will be actually doing is some science, and also making sure he actually does his work. We think this option will give him the best of both worlds...academics and some social outlets, and also more time at home.
I don't know how long you have been in your stepson's life, but I'd caution you about being the main disciplinarian and homeschool teacher. This could really strain your relationship with your stepson and has the potential to put a strain on your marriage by making your husband choose between you and him.
I homeschooled all of my own children from K on, so I have a lot of experience with this, and I know how much stress it puts on a relationship. I absolutely refused to be put in that position with my stepson. Every book I've read about stepparenting says that the step parent absolutely cannot be the disciplinarian, and being the homeschool teacher puts you in that position. The homeschool teacher has to 1. teach the subject 2. assign the work 3. help with the completion of the work if the child needs it 4. grade the work. Can you see how many points of break-down there can be with a teenager? If at any point they don't feel like they a. want to listen to you b. think that the assignment is stupid or unnecessary c. won't accept or rejects your suggestions or your help d. gets angry over a grade e. refuses to complete work altogether or refuses to redo unacceptable work, you are going to have to have consequences and take disciplinary action.
So, I strongly suggest you have some kind of support where you can be "the good guy". You, as stepmom, want to be the one he comes to for help in getting his school done (if he needs it) and to let someone else be the "bad guy" for making him do things he doesn't necessarily want to do.
I've graduated 2 from homeschooling and my baby is a senior, and even with my natural children I found this dynamic was needed during the high school years. Check out tristate homeschool network. They probably have a lot of ideas for you.
L.