Hi! My husband and I have two biological children and would like to adopt a child (possibly two children). We would like to have an domestic adoption and we've heard good things about The Cradle in Evanston. I'm curious if any of you moms have a blended family of adopted and biological children and can share some of your experiences with me. Also, I'm looking for good books to read so if you have any recommendations that would be very helpful. Thanks!
The Cradle in Evanston is outstanding! I've worked with them, but from a different angle (with high school students).
If you've not yet visited them, please do so. Their website is www.cradle.org I believe
We have three children that we adopted through The Cradle. It is a wonderful agency with the only on site nursery in the country. Two of our three children stayed in the nursery and got outstanding care. We have only adopted children so I can't address the blending of biological and adopted. However, I would recommend contacting The Cradle and/or attending an informational meeting.
Most of the adoptions are open which I feel is best. We don't have close relationships at this point with the birthparents, but that is their choice. We do have contact with most of them and hope that it always stays that way.
One of the best things about The Cradle is the counseling that you receive as well as the birthparents. They excel in this, I feel. They are very helpful to the birthparents post placement in dealing with their loss.
If you have questions, feel free to email me. Good luck. It's not an easy journey but a wonderful one in the end.
The cradle has a great reputation and they do classes that help examine some of the issues surrounding adoption. I myself am adopted and so know first hand that adoption can be a good solution to a crisis/unwanted or unplanned pregnancy but you do need to be aware that it comes with a certain amount of scars and pain for the child. Being taken from your mom even if you never really had much interaction will cause pain all through life even when you have the best adoptive parents possible. I only mention this as so often parents and society want to brush that pain under the carpet. There are some good books on this from the adoptee's perspective eg. The Primal Wound. Adoptive parents are often eager to have closed adoptions and to have distance and all kinds of things that suit them and that they rationalize are better for the child. I think being aware of these issues is really important.
Depending on what you have in mind, another great adoption agency here in Chicago or Oak Park is Adoption Link. They do African American, Biracial and some domestic special needs and international special needs adoptions.
Good Luck
We have one adopted son and one on the way next month! I would be happy to talk with you about adoption.
We adopted our son domestically by working with Angel Adoption in Cary, IL. We decided not to go with the Cradle because the cost was higher than other places.
I highly recommend open adoption, but generally it is the birth mother's choice. Do some reading on the amazing benefits of open adoption before you have to put in your opinion. This might be a good place to start http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/
Best wishes to you!
I'm a social worker and I've always heard good things about the Cradle, both professionally and personally.
You might check out some parenting blogs--there are lots focused on adoption and many families have adopted and biological children. It's a great way to get educated about the issues of adoption. A few are:
This Woman's Work
Multiracial Sky
American Family
From those, you'll find others. Good luck!
E.,
Hi! We adopted though The Cradle and they are very wonderful people - yet it took almost 3 years to take placement of our baby girl Abby.(but she was well worth the wait!!)
We have a biological six year old girl. I have a ton of feelings about adopting though The Cradle - again they are wonderful and everything turned out great but the waiting was very hard.
If you go domestic you do not have a time table - everything is open. If you are not in a hurry I would highly recommand them, but I am turning 45 soon so the time was an issue for us. We had two birthmoms decide not to go forward - and countless others that "picked us to be one of 5-6 to look at and we were the bridesmaid many times"
The other thought is for you to know The Cradle truely is there to help the birthmom and you dont have any control (other then the profile you put together). So if a birthmom decides to move forward with adoption if they fit your profile you will be present - or if they pick you. The main thing to remember is that no one there is looking to place a baby for you - they are there to help the birthmom look at her options and if she choose adoption then present to her the profiles.
Now I know that is all good - but my one frustration was I felt no one was out there trying to make it happen for us. Again as I said earlier it is probably good how they have it set up because they are a non profit. Now they are great to work with and we stayed with them because they did so much work gathering information on the baby and even testing that we knew they were a quality organization. I also will mention I did feel because we had a bio. child many birth moms were leary of that because they wonder if you would love there child the same - so silly but I probably would feel the same.
Adoption is wonderful and I grew as a person going though it - and Abby is such an amazing baby that if I was younger I would consider doing it again.
Hope that helps alittle! Maureen
Hi, we adopted our son (now 2) from The Cradle, and we have a biological daughter (now 4). Since our children are still young, we haven't had many questions from them yet about adopted vs. biological, although my husband and I are open about both. We had a great experience with The Cradle, and after all the paperwork/classes were done, only waited 3 months until we were selected by the birthparents. I'd be happy to talk/e-mail with you about any specific questions you have!
