Needing advice hi my husband was reunited with his kids after 15 years. He had been trying to looked for them but couldnt. The mother changed their last name she remarried and her husband adopted the kids. My husband was never informed and he never gave up his rites as a father. He did send them child support ever week but the mother moved (disappeared the the kids cause she wanted more money and he had agreed to it but wanted proof on what he was paying) causeof this she moved to a different state changed her number so he could not visit. Now we are finding out that the kids were not happy at all with mom and she is divorced nowand still has exhusbands last name and no contact with stepdad. Kids want their dads last name one is 18 & other 16. Does anyone know how this was possible and how we can go about changing their last name to what is was. The younger child is not happy with mom and we have heard that family would like to have her move in and away from mom but her mom does not allow it. My husband is afraid that mother will get up and leave with the youngest and will lose contact. Please help if anyone knows. Thx to everyone who has already answered its been helpful but honestly my husband did not give up his kids or rites she did this after she disappear with the kids. We dont know how she was able to do that thats why our search lead to dead ends. We live in New York. My husband did try to look for them his family still lives at the same address where they went as infants. after all these years mother finally decided to tell the kids about him after they have been trying to get info about him. The kids are also wondering why now is that the mother finally decided to give in and talk about him. Sorry but for those who mentioned that it seems like in blaming the mom you can decide after this. The uncle found her information and contacted her after a few years they spoke and he called back the next and her phone was disconnected and nowhere to be found. The oldest was big enough to remember this and mentioned it.
This happened to my uncle. The mother actually moved, went under the radar and put her kids up for adoption. The children and father reunited after the kids were in their 20's.
You need to find a lawyer. The child is old enough to speak for her/himself about where they prefer to live. also, they can reconnect via email, facebook, skype, phone....
Call an attorney b/c if your husband didn't give up his rights initially then the last name change probably isn't valid. The older child (over 18?) can change his name back on his own. Worst case scenario, the younger has to wait 2 years.
He's 16 not 6 so I wouldn't worry too much about him losing contact. At 16, he can memorize a phone number and address. He probably has an email account and a cell phone.
I would definitely get the court involved here so that no one drops off the grid again!
Make sure the 16 year old knows all of dad's contact information, cell phones, Facebook, etc., and there will be no way the 16 year old can lose contact. 16 is not the same as 6 -- it's a little hard for a parent to take them away at that age.
And if dad doesn't have a Facebook account, it's time to get one, that way his kids can always find him. Then make sure the kids know he is on Facebook.
Worse case they will have to wait til their adults to change it. I would look into legal help, they can't just adopt without his permission and if he didn't give it then it isn't valid and he can fight it. It's like getting married in another state while you're still married... some people get away with it but if they get caught it will hit the fan. I would go to the local court and ask about the situation or ask about a representative. Plus if they were adopted he shouldn't have been giving child support, that never goes hand in hand. Maybe they aren't adopted and she just changed their names to match her last name (married name). I don't think it would be hard if the kids names are the ex stepdad's b/c he isn't around and the mom probably doesn't have his last name anymore so the kids don't match anyone in their lives. At 16 I believe the dad can go to the court for the child to live with him and the teen can write a note that he wants to live with him and why, that's the age where they can pick where they want to live, that it is taken into consideration. The fact that stepdad has no contact which means he doesn't pay child support (?) makes me believe that she convinced the court to change it
The only way they could have signed away his rights is if she did not give the correct contact information to the atterny. When my husband was adopting my oldest son I had to provide all the information on the father. The adlida (SP) had to try and find him and contact him. He thought he found him but got no responce back. But if she did not give the correct information they would have done some searchs and the signed away rights. If they can not contact they consider it abandonment and the terminate rights. I would get an atterny. Cause if the information that she gave was false even now she might get in trouble cause you have to give the info in court under owth as well. He should not give up!!!
Good luck and God Bless!!!
My husband's ex-wife never signed away her rights, but a judge determined that, because she had effectively abandoned them (no contact, no child support for a period of one year) it was ok for her parental rights to be terminated and I could adopt the children. (There was a lot more to our case, but the minimum to have parental rights revoked is one year of non-support.)
It's possible, when she moved and he wasn't able to find her to pay child support, she went to a judge and claimed that he wasn't supporting the children. See if he can contact the courts that revoked his parental rights and get a copy of the court proceedings. Then he needs to contact an attorney and see if he can get his rights back. He may have issues and/or be forced to pay back child support...but at least he could get his daughter back. He might even be able sue her for taking the children from him. My advice, start with the attorney.
In the meantime, they can use any name they wish. We only have to use our legal names on government IDs or government paperwork. They can call themselves anything they want everywhere else.
For everything else you ask, I would contact a lawyer to see what your options are. Usually at 16, a child has the abilty to decide where to live anda court and judge will listen.
As far as my knowledge on this subject goes, your husband would have to give up rights to his children in order for them to be adopted by another man.
However, I am sure that some states can get around this by considering them legally "abandoned".
Your husband did not try to find his kids for fifteen years. You are making it sound like the Mom's fault, but why didn't your husband do anything to find his kids?
I'm glad your husband is involved now, and that's better than nothing. As far as changing the name, why not wait two years, the kid is 16.
Your husband gave up rights to the children.
however, to the best of my knowledge, when they turn 18 - they can legally change their name to anything they want....my ex husband did that - changed his WHOLE NAME!! (should've been my red flag)...any way
he can petition the courts for custody again - i'm sure it would be expensive but hey - it's worth the shot!!
I'm confused as to how the kids could be adopted without your husband knowing.
Be that as it may, worst case scenario is that the 16 year old has to wait two years to change the name to whatever they want. Being an adult, no permission will be necessary.
As far as where the child lives, that will involve a court case as long as she's a minor and her mother isn't willing to let her go.
Okay, I'm confused as to how they were legally adopted if he never gave up rights. I'm not extremely well versed in this legal stuff but my nephew was legally adopted by my brother and they went through some stuff to locate his bio dad, so first off I'd look into that. Maybe he gave up his rights long ago and doesn't remember??
I would probably get a lawyer. I know that probably isn't what you want to hear but this is too sticky to not get the courts involved somehow. If your husband really wants to have a relationship with his children then he's going to have to go back through the system since it seems like mom isn't willing to cooperate. Good luck and good for your husband. I hope they can build a new relationship.
Sounds like a job for an attorney; it would not be a cheap process, I would bet. Good luck; I'm sorry for the kids.
