Seeking Advice - Mary Esther,FL

Hi V., I would recommend that you let her cry it out but do tend to her WITHOUT PICKING HER UP. If need be, sit by her side and talk to her to sooth her. This may not always work but it would be a step to reassure her that you are still there. I also recommend that you lay her or let her sleep with a pillowcase that you have used or a t-shirt- something that has your scent on it so she still feels close to you. I'm sure its scary for her to go thru this transition but you need to let her fuss it out and become acclamated to her new environment and sleeping situation.
If you decide to sit by her crib and talk to her, she will slowly get tired of fussing so much and you can gradually move further and further away from her crib so she acknowledges that she will be ok being on her own and that you are calm about it instead of you just walking away- then she'll really get scared if you act like you dont care.
I hope this makes sense and I wish you the best of luck with this.

Hi V.! I know you have had a couple of responses, but I just really wanted to chime in. Obviously your daughter is accustom to sleeping with you and the transition to her own bed is a hard one. But here's what I was thinking. You said when she wakes up you bring her to your bed. Well that is not going to get her used to HER bed. So when she wakes up, you get up and take her to her bed and lay with her until she falls asleep. Once you have done this for about a week, then when she wakes up, take her to bed and maybe rub her head for a minute then go back to bed. Be ready for some crying and a couple of late nights, but just let her cry it out. And make her stay in her bed and tell her it is okay. I guarentee within a week (which will probably be about all you can handle) she will start sleeping in her own bed just fine. And this has to be a solid week of you sticking to your guns- you don't have to be mean, just firm. Kids really adjust well, but if they feel like they can get you to give in, they will fight and fight. So you have to show her you care and are right in the next room, but this is the new rule. I know a single mother whose 12 year old still sleeps with her. She has a hard time even thinking about dating because her son gets very jealous if he does not get to sleep with her. It's better to endure a couple of weeks rather than many years. Hope this helps!

I am not sure what other people will tell you,but I had the same problem with my daughter. I put her bed right next to mine and every time she would wake up I would put her right back in her bed. It took time and a lot of crying but she eventually slept in her own bed the whole night, then we moved her bed back into her room. I also heard that if you put something like your pillow or shirt the smell of that item helps a child sleep in his/her own bed. I guess the smell helps them feel safer. Good Luck.

I would agree she needs to be weened from your bed. If you went "cold turkey" she's not going to respond favorably. Keeping in mind that there's nothing wrong with her sleeping with you unless you really don't want her there or you've been drinking or taking drugs(circumstances which make it unsafe), I suggest you go slow. I think the other mothers had some good advice. There's an interesting book called "Happy Baby, Healthy Sleep Habits" which offers helpful advice that you can customize to your situation. Remember, at this age a child doesn't know trust so they rely on consistent routine. Any transition should be done with respect and at the childs pace with respect to the family's needs at the same time. I know, it's a balancing act! All the best!

I am a 32 yo mother to a 3 yo daughter and a 1 yo son. I think I am finally starting to see an end to all that with my son. (He is also 15 mos.) I remember going through it with my daughter, too. It is so hard to let them cry it out, but if you can make yourself wait 5 minutes one night (to go to her), then 6 minutes the next, and on up the line, eventually she will fall asleep. It's all about her learning to fall asleep on her own without you. We all do it, but babies are often used to being put to sleep by us with a bottle or breast, or even just falling asleep on us, so when they wake up all alone they don't know what to do. My best advice is try really hard to wait just a few minutes and build up your time. It's v. difficult because of course you feel like you're not meeting a need, but we teach our children everything, and how they can fall asleep independently is an important lesson. Best of luck to you! I want to mention my son gets up around 5:30 to nurse and I do sometimes tuck him into bed with me then, but anytime between bedtime and 5:00, I've decided he really needs to be in his own bed.

She's been through a lot and she is upset when she's alone at night. Plus she knows there are more changes to come - both of my older 2 became more needy when I was pregnant with the next one. Could you put her bed in your room for a while until she gets more used to it? Or just let her come to your bed after a certain time? Or go back to her room and lay in there with her until she's back to sleep? After all these months of knowing you were there, she may just need some reassurance that you're still around at night.

Here's an article that helped me when my older 2 moved from my bed, only I never left them crying for more than a few seconds. http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp I moved them from my bed around 14-15 months. My 13 month old is still in my bed.

I don't know your daughter but my daughter is 18mths and is not ready for a toddler bed. Right now my daugther is use to falling asleep on her own which is very important for children to learn. I would honestly suggest if your daughter can't fall asleep on her own in the toddler bed then I would move her into the crib and get her adjusted to falling asleep on her own. Or I would work on getting your daughter to be able to fall asleep on her own in the toddler bed. Have her read books with you lying next to her .When my daughter wakes up in the middle of the night (which happens a lot because they think she might have night terrors or bad dreams) I take her out of the crib and rock her in the rocking chair or sit with her outside. I know at 2 am this doesn't sound as appealing as letting her fall asleep in your bed so you can go back to sleep but it is definitely worth it. Once I get her back to sleep I put her back in her crib, never in our bed. Sometimes I am up for over 1 hr but my daughter is use to sleeping on her own now and nevers wants to sleep in our bed. We did co-sleep with her until she was 6 mths old but once we decided she was big enough to sleep on her own she has only been in our bed once since then. It is so important to adjust her to sleeping on her own. I know the thought of being up for a few hours insn't appealing but it will be well worth it once she gets to know that if she wakes up she isn't going to be in your bed then she will stop waking up and get a better nights sleep. One thing that did help my daughter was that we put her favorite doll and stuffed animals in her crib so she wasn't alone. I can hear her some nights talking to them and playing with them, it really makes her feel more comfortable in her crib. Good luck and remember the only way to break her of the habit is to stop letting her sleep in your bed.

I have some advise that is not easy but works. This will take a couple of weeks, but you need to start a routine with her. So begin telling her and prepping her that it is bedtime. I would go back to using the crib. She needs to begin learing to put herself to sleep. She has not had to do so before I assume. Put her in the crib and once she is in the crib she does not come out(thats a big thing to remember). You will assist her by rubbing her head and back and patting her bottom and helping her to sleep the first few nights. Then if she wakes up in the middle of the night again she does not get taken out just helped back to sleep. Then begin a few nights of sitting beside the crib, however you will not acknowledge her in anyway. She will cry and scream but will calm down eventually and fall asleep.Then begin sitting further and further away from the crib and closer to the door and eventually out the door( This process should rake about a week). Then begin putting her in bed and saying goodnight etc and leaving the room. Give her 1 minute and if crying go in pat her to calm her down not to sleep and leave again. Then give her 3 minutes and if crying do the same. Then give her 5 minutes and if crying do the same, please remember you only want to calm her when you go in not put her to sleep. After the 5 minutes let her cry it out. Some may not agree with the last part. If you are not comfortable with this then you can research some books or ask your pediatrcian. Our son would go to sleep after 5-10 minutes after our last visit to the room when we let him cry it out. This teaches her to put herself to sleep. I would wait until she is about 2 1/2 to begin the toddler bed so she has time to get adjusted with the sleeping and it also helps you. We did this with our now 23 month old son and it took a while but he is now in a toddler bed and put himself right to bed not problems. I have to tell you honestly it pulls your heart strings but don't give in. It is worth it when she begins going right to sleep or playing in her crib and then putting herself to sleep. I hope this helps.