Seeking Advice - Chicago, IL

Hi,
My thoughts are she may need more food. What she is eating may not be sticking with her through the night. When they get more active they need more. I hope this helps, Good Luck!
B.

I know it's really hard, but you may have to let her cry it out. She's 9 months, she's old enough to do it. I had to do the same. It's really hard, but it's really important for her to be sleeping through the night - she needs the sleep. So when you want to go in and get her, keep thinking that it's for her benefit. It truly is! I hope that helps!

R.,

it's very common to have a disrupt in good sleeping around this age. They reach big milestones with crawling, walking, teething. (My kids were all walking the furniture by 9 months)

I went thru this with #3, and it had been a long time since #2 (10 yrs) so everything seemed new to me again. The important thing to remember is that he should not be fed in the middle of the night. Let me elaborate... if he's getting the recommended amount of ounces during the day, and eating solids well otherwise, then he should not be hungry and continuing to feed him at night time wakings will be counterproductive. I know because I was doing it - my doctor told me 'knock it off' essentially :) I just stopped doing it one night. I would go in and hold him if he was really upset, but it ended there - no bottles. Then I started some sleep training for his naps to get him to learn to get himself back to sleep because he wasn't a good sleeper to begin with. I started with naps because it wouldn't wake up the rest of the house and I was able to stress about it on my own without my husband adding his two cents :)

Be consistent with your sleep method, stop feeding and she will get the picture.

I certainly can relate- My son slept through the night at 8 weeks- and then around 9 months started waking up twice a night for a feeding- he is now 14 months- still waking up at least once a night. SLEEP DEPRIVATION has fully set in! Turns out he has water in his ears which creates pressure when he is lying down- turns out the sucking can help lessen the pain and just not lying flat helps. So we roll up a towel and stick it under one end of his mattress- this ever so slightly raises one end of the mattress - this way he does not lie completely flat and the pressure won't build quite so quickly. We're having tubes put in this month- I've heard he'll start to sleep through the night again after the tubes are in! This may or may not be your babies problem. You should have your pediatrician check your babies ears!

Your daughter could be experiencing separation anxiety or she might be getting ready to reach a new milestone (ie crawling). We let our daughter cry it out and within a few days she was back to sleeping through the night. I highly suggest the book Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child by Weissbluth.

Is she teething? If so, that could be what is waking her up. If you can treat that then you might be able to get some rest. If you can't, then you might be stuck with soothing her during the night. Otherwise, my 10 month old wakes up sometimes and just rubbing his back seems to work or letting him see me on his floor but I don't pick him up. Then I slowly make my way out. This process takes several nights of waking up though. Just change your position on the floor to closer to the door each night until eventually you are out. I, also, use classical music for him that seems to be soothing and he can relate it to when we are together. Hope this helps...

Hi R.,

My observations have been that if they know they get to nurse the will definitely wake up during the night. However, night weaning does not "cure" night waking. Kids wake up at night for all kinds of reasons, not just hunger. I did have some success at night weaning, so here's my story.

I night weaned my daughter at 12 months (we still breast feed during the day), but did not "cry it out". When she woke up at night, my husband would go in and hold her, rock her, whatever she needed, but I didn't nurse her. It was tough because she would cry and call for me, but I felt better knowing that she was in Daddy's loving arms and not crying alone in the crib. After a couple of weeks (yeah, it really did take that long!), she would sometimes sleep through the night. If not, my husband would get up and rock her for a bit. She was very accepting of that and would calm down quickly and go back to sleep.

This is what works for us. Just wanted to provide an alternative to "crying it out"

I've found www.supernanny.us.com helpful here. I found quite a bit of advice from how to put my little ones down at night to how to best handle their waking up at night. I also installed a couple of light show and sound toys in their cribs. I believe the one I have is by Vtech and it automatically turns on when there is noise (it plays music, lights up, and displays a light show on the ceiling/wall). The other one I have is remote controll operated; I just aime the remote into the room and turn the toy on. Good luck.

Hi R.,
Both my girls started waking in the night after sleeping through the night for months. I couldn't really make a correlation with anything although I have read that when they are going through "developmental milestones" (sitting up for the first time, crawling, etc.) that can happen. Anyway, with both of them we just let them cry it out. There were about 2 days of loud crying for 30-60 minutes and then around the 3rd day maybe 10 minutes and within a week no crying anymore. It's agonizing to hear them cry but it does work. Besides, they suffer much more the following day being tired all day long. Good luck!!!

R. -

My son did the exact same thing at the same age. He is just in the last week or two getting back to his old habits of sleeping all night (from about 730 to until 530-600 am to eat and then back to bed until 730)

He also had a bad cold that sort of started it off but it continued after the illness passed. I have two possibilities that were offered by other parents and our pediatrician and seemed to be the issue with our little guy:

1) Is she teething? My little guy was drooling and teething and it seemed to bother him most when he was tired (in the evenings and during the night). We relied on Motrin a few times to get us all through the night.

2) Its totally normal for babies to have sleep cycles that cause them to stir and even wake in the middle of the night. Since she now has developmentally achieved object permanence, should she wake at night and notice she is alone, she likely also knows that mommy and/or daddy are also somewhere in the house but not in her room. Like most babies, they don't want to be alone and her way to deal is to call out to get your attention by crying.

During this time period we let our son cry himself back to sleep, sometimes twice in one night. It was very tough and a test of wills. We would do an initial check to make sure he was dry, safe and warm. Then we would lay him down and quietly leave him to soothe himself back to sleep. It was a tense time for me and my husband. I am back to work full time so its not like one of us could take nights and sleep during the day. Unfortunately most of it fell on me.

The one thing I stuck to was that we did not revert back to night feedings, though it was SO incredibly tempting! I would stop the night feeding cold turkey. She doesn't "need" it at this age is likely just in a bad habit.

If you have not already, give your peds a call just to make sure nothing serious is going on.

Good luck!!! She will get over this and you will get real sleep again soon! Hang in there!

Hi R., when did you go back to work? Was it during the same timeframe? My son did the same thing when I went back to work and it was exhausting! I think after a while you have to give in to the "cry it out" and just let her cry for a couple of nights. It will be hard, but it is harder to be sleep deprived for a longer period of time than to hang on for a couple of nights of crying. I know there are several schools of thought, so do what's best for you. This is just what worked for me. Best of luck to you!

You may think I am completely nuts, but I am not. And I do not work for Pottery Barn or any of its affiliates! I have to tell you that Pottery Barn Kids sells a fitted crib sheet called the chamois sheet. This sheet is amazingly soft and babies love it. Our three year old son had one from when he was 8 weeks old, which is exactly when he first started consistently sleeping through the night. Half-joking I bought the sheet for a friend who had a baby and the she had the same result. A couple years later I have either purchased as a gift, or recommended this sheet to other new Moms and the result are amazingly consistent. Pure coincidence? I don't think so. It is THE best sheet without a doubt.

Best of luck!

My son (9 1/2 months) did this recently after being sick. He was waking up at night miserable because he was sick and the only thing that would soothe him was to eat. So, I started mixing his breast milk bottle with water. I didn't want to "train" his body to eat twice a night. After he was able to sleep quietly (not stuffy, no cough) he didn't wake to eat.

Also, another member on this site recommended Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Mark Weisbuth (or something like that). She was kind enough to give me some of the pointers from the book and I didn't buy it myself.

It involves figuring out how to get your child to sooth herself back to sleep. It also involves a little bit of crying it out, but we got past the hump and our son is now at the point that he will fall back to sleep on his own. He sleeps from about 7:30PM - 4:30AM. He'll eat (and he's starving at that point) and is going back down until about 6:30AM.

as long as you feed her at night she will continue to get up at night (My son did this until over 10 months) You just have to decide not to feed her at night. she should get all her nutrients during the day. at least 24 oz no more then 40. if this is being met she does not need it at night. It is very hard to do. you feel terrible and question if its the right thing to do. after several nights and the adjustment for both of you- you will know it was the best thing ever. good luck

Hi R.,
You may have to deal with the sleep deprivation until she gets over it on her own or wait until she is 12 months. You can't let her cry it out until she is 12 months. She could be teething or going through a growth spurt or she may even have some fluid in her ears from her illness.

She may be going through a growth spurt or having separation anxiety. Separation anxiety tends to happen at about her age.

HTH

Hi R.,
I had a very similar experience with my daughter this year. She is 16 months now, but when she was 10 months old she got a very bad bug and it threw her whole sleep schedule off. She went back to waking up 2-3 times a night and continued even after she got better. We finally had to let her cry it out. It was terrible and she really did not want to give it up - I think she screamed for 45minutes one night before going back to sleep, but we had to do it. It took about 4 nights, but by the end of the week she was back sleeping through the night.
A couple other things to consider - is she on a growth spurt or is she teething? If so, I noticed it really helped to give my daughter some solid food about a half hour before bedtime and made sure she had a full tummy of milk right before sleep. Not a good long-term feeding habit to be sure, but if you think one of those might be a factor, it is a short-term solution that helped us.
Good luck!
Mary-Claire

My son started waking again at that age too, right when I returned to work. I narrowed it down to the change in routine as well as TEETHING. We just tried to follow his cues as much as possible without letting him cry it out. By 12 months, he slept 10-12 hours straight! It will get better. Try not to panic yourself into trying measures that don't feel right in your heart of hearts.

My daughter did the same thing at the same age about four years ago. I talked to her Dr. and he said she doesn't need to be eating in the middle of the night anymore and said I could do one of two things: either let her cry it out or go in and pat her back (don't pick her up) every 15 minutes or so untill she fell asleep on her own. Well, I knew if I went in there to comfort her and didn't feed her it would only make her more upset, so I let her cry it out. It was hard not to go in, but I knew it would only be harder when she learned to cry "Momma". After 3 or 4 nights she was sleeping all night again

i don't have any advice for getting her to go back to sleeping through the night if you're breastfeeding unless you are willing to let her cry it out. i can't stand to do that myself, so i can't ever recommend it!
however, it has always helped me to remember that they are only little for a very short time. and while 2 months - or even 6 months or a year - seems like forever when your sleep is being disrupted, she is waking up becuase she needs you (or really needs to nurse). maybe you can try getting in a nap in the afternoons or going to bed a little earlier if you are starting to feel sleep deprived again? or if you're nursing, perhaps you could bring her to your bed and cosleep until she goes back to sleeping all night?

It'll get better; it's temporary and likely related to the illness. Just keep the lights off or low and don't let the feedings disrupt your sleep any more than necessary. You don't have to turn on lights or even change the baby every time they are fed. If you keep it very low-key and quiet, she may go back to sleeping the night sooner.

I think the "cry it out" advice is just plain mean. Who's important here? She needs something, doesn't matter what, and at the moment your job is to try and give it to her. Why would you allow her - and yourself - to feel all that anxiety for a mere schedule?

Hi R.,

My daughter did this at about 8 months - suddenly started waking up in the middle of the night after sleeping through for 5 months. After a week or two of going in and giving her a bottle, rocking, etc., we realized we'd developed a bad habit. As hard as it was, we decided one night to let her cry it out. It took 2 nights of that, but then the problem was solved and she was back to sleeping through the night again. Babies are such creatures of habit! :) Good luck!

Your daughter could be teething, which makes them wake up more in the middle of the night and want to suck on something. My 15 month old has only slept through the night once, but that is unusual. When she's teething, she gets up every 3 hours. Unfortunately, you won't know she's teething until the tooth starts appearing. And at that point, most of the pain is over anyway. Is she drooling a lot, putting things in her mouth, a little feverish? If so, you could try giving her Motrin, which helps. Call your doctor for the proper dosage.