L.,
I do not have a nail on one of my big toes. For years I would not wear open toe sandals for the same reason. A few years ago I threw in the towel and figured the heck with it and bought my self some cute open toed sandals.(now I am addicted to them!) I had to realize that people aren't looking at my toes and it's all in my mind. And if they are, well then too bad. I hope I gave them something to talk about for a few minutes.
I had my first pedi a few months ago, also delayed because of the fear. (of course I will admit I waited until I was in another state to do it - Arizonia and I wanted the full treatment) The salon was wonderful about it and said they see that all the time, so we're not alone. They also put nail polish on my "empty" toe. It looked great, but of course it did not last too long, maybe a week. But it sure looked good while it lasted!
So I would suggest a nice pedi with some polish for your big toes. It will make you feel better about it, and you may actually want to show off your feet.
You are not alone.