Secrets of Those Who Are Always Pulled Together

My secret is that I get up at 5am everyday....workout, shower, pack lunches for kids, husband, and myself, flat iron my hair and do makeup, prep dinner, do a load of laundry, empty dishwasher....and I have this all done by 7am when my little ones (2 and 4) wake up, then we all eat and get out of the house by 8am....I have the most energy in the morning so get the most accomplished!

I always try to look put together, and pretend that I am. I try even more if I don't feel good that day. Sometimes I can even fool myself into believing it! Faking it is better than not having it I say :)

Being "always pulled together" is a choice. I don't have any help with the kids, my husband travels a lot it's very hard but I always try. I have to admit, it's exusting at times : still sleepless nights, staying home with the baby, my 4 y is half day at school, her activities, gym, playdate, girls lunch etc. It motivates me to do it all as best I can, it makes me feel good. I grew up in organized environment, so thats all I know. Try to establish a better schedule, lots of luck. Don't forget: dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.

Be a duck. Calm and collected on the surface, paddling like hell underneath.

The best way to be pulled together? Have your things ready to go before you go to bed (at a specified time every night...mine is 10pm). And wake up earlier. If you get enough sleep, you don't need to hit the sleep button. And, if it takes you an hour to get ready, give yourself an hour and a half to get out the door.

Spend $10 at the car wash to get your car cleaned and vacuumed out.

Dump your big purse for a much smaller one that only fits the basics. Keep the big one in the trunk of your car if you're worried about needing it.

Keep a lint roller in the car.

Don't wear contrasting colors to your pets (if the dog is black, wear black for Pete's sake!)

And, since it sounds like you're a lot like I once was (always frazzled, always late, always disorganized), I'd like to suggest this book, which is a LIFESAVER for me: http://www.amazon.com/ADD-Friendly-Ways-Organize-Your-Lif... Even if you DON'T have ADD, this book is wonderful for those who need things to be simple and accessable.

And me...the duck. :o)

I have three kids and I am always together. I have to be. I work in the corporate world and must look the part every day. I don't have a choice (at least in my mind).

- Get up earlier than you are - even an extra ten minutes makes a HUGE difference in the morning.
- I do almost everything the night before - I wash and put my hair in rollers. I lay out all clothes for every family member (except husband, he is on his own). I make all lunches the night before. Then, all I have to do is take the rollers out of my long hair, get dressed, and throw my makeup on. I can be ready in 25 minutes and look like I spent hours. It is all about organizing and preparedness.
- Find a hairstyle that works for you and your hair. Most women cut their hair the older they get. Mine is still fairly long. It is healthy and gorgeous and EASY to do - curlers the night before or pony/clip/sexy bun. SO much easier than doing short hair daily.
- Spend more time on you. Even if it is just an extra 15 min per day, take that time to make yourself presentable. Us moms do so much for everyone else - we need to learn to take time for ourselves too. It is always worth it.
- Get a cleaning lady if you can afford it.
- Keep a lint brush at work =)

I have ADD so I have to keep a high level of togetherness just to appear normal. At least in my world it is everything has its place and there is no excuse to not return it to its place.

When I get home from work I go in my closet take off the work clothes and put on something comfortable. Kinda Mr. Rogers fashion. The door is always kept shut so no animals, 2 or 4 legged can contaminate my work clothes.

If it goes into my car or purse it goes out at the end of the day. Neither are filing systems, ya know?

I think the biggest negative pattern people fall into is not putting stuff away. It takes 30 seconds or so to put something away. How long does it take to find it when it is lost.

Don't know if any of this is helpful.

You just have to know the little secrets.

Start with a really good haircut. It will help make you look pulled together even if you're not!

Also look into wrinkle-resistant clothes. Decide what you're wearing the night before to save time and make sure it's clean. Throw on a nice piece of jewelry, too. That always helps finish a look and can detract from the dog hair. :)

Car: What goes in the car comes out when you arrive home. If your kids are old enough, have them take responsibility for their things.

House: Pick a day on the weekend and get everything straightened up. Family clean-up day. Consider a housecleaning service every other week to help maintain things.

Purse: About once a month, I clean out mine. I tend to have 50 receipts in there if I don't keep up with it.

Like painting, the majority of the work is in the prep. Take time on the weekend to wash and hang all your clothes out of fidos reach. Get a mental count of 5 outfits for the week, or be sure you have at least a couple pair of trousers, dress shirts, and a dress or two ready to go. If you put wrinkled clothes in the dryer with a wet wash cloth, it will steam the wrinkles out. Wait to get dressed until right before you need to leave the house, then lint roller the pet hair off. If you dont cut your hair, there are some chic ponytails you can do. 1 example, Do a deep side part then pull it all into a ponytail. It look much more polished. Put on mascara and a nude lipstick, at the very least. Just a couple swipes will make you look more put together.

My grandma taught me this little trick. When you buy clothing grab the sleeve or pant leg and crush it in your hand -- wad it up like a piece of paper you plan to throw out--- if it wrinkles a lot don't plan on it for work wear.

Keep a de-linting brush in your car, give yourself a once over when you get out of the car.

Plan 1-2 hours every week (not all together half hour here and there) to clean out purse remove trash from car ect. Use a small plastic bag from a store as a trash bag in your car; I hang it on the edge of the glove box door and then close the glove box door. Keep an old hand towel in your car, I hang mine over the steering wheel, to place on your lap while driving. If I drip when I sip my coffee the towel catches it and not my pants or skirt. I also keep a spray bottle of multi purpose cleaner in my car and a few old tee shirts (cut up) if I get caught in traffic I can squirt and clean the windsheild --dashboard ect less dust in the car less to hit me. I also have a small hand car vac that plugs into the lighter and I can vac the car anywhere. So if I'm waiting for someone I can vac my car, wash the windows, pick up the trash. It's a habit like any other.

Remember it takes 21 days to change an old habit to a new habit.

Good luck on the job hunt!!! :-)

Sounds like you have more of a time issue than anything else. The secret of people who always look "pulled together" is that they allow enough time to do what they need to look pulled together. If you have to leave the house looking like you just rolled out of bed, get up earlier. If you have trouble getting up earlier, go to bed earlier the night before, etc. etc. Try to be more realistic in estimating how long it will take to do something or get somewhere. Allow a little extra time for accidental occurrences, missteps, detours. Realize that if your house is a mess it will take longer to find what you need to get yourself pulled together. If your purse is a mess it will take longer for you to locate what you need to get through your day. And don't waste any time on stuff that's not important.

I think you might be surprised to find out that most people who appear "pulled together," are really not. Everyone has their issues! A lot of it is self-confidence. If you feel like you have it together, then you will look that way. Try not to be self-conscious about being "messy." Think about all the wonderful qualities you do have, and all that you have to offer. Maybe your messiness can be just a quirky side of you.

On a more practical note, try to keep things simple. For example, I always have my hair pulled back in a ponytail -- not the most stylish thing, but it looks neat. And I do not own clothes that require ironing!

Hope this helps a little. Good luck in your job search!

My secrets are
~never over schedule,
~lists, lists, and lists, anything that needs to get done needs to be on my list
~reminders sent from my smart phone calendar,
~plan to be ready 1/2 hr before I have to REALLY leave the house.
~take each task that must be done and time it to see how long it really takes to do it. Then plan accordingly, and never be late or frazzled
Example:
Each night I make a list of what needs to be done the next day and number it in order of importance.
I know it takes me an hr to eat and be completely ready for the day, So if I have to be somewhere at 9:00 then I know I have to start my day at 7:30 to be done by 8:30 and leave on time.

One thing that helps is to practice having self discipline. Get up when its time, be done getting ready when the time you have allotted is up, leave when you planed, don't procrastinate.
Following through with yourself and planing your rewards can help make these things habit.

Good luck!
E.

Yeah, you have to fake it to make it. Plus here are some classic "look" tips that are always "pulled together"
Crisp/Clean White shirt
Grey Pants (hide the pet hair better) or a small houndstooth print and I mean small as well as tweed but it's harder to pull off.
Soft black shoes (boots/or pumps)
Low pony tail with hair wraped around the band and a part that flatters you best.
Clean make up ... One shadow color or two close in shade with a simple wing tip liner, light blush on the cheek bones (not the apple) and a touch of bronzer on the hair line with pink or clear gloss/chapstick.
Small simple hoop/stud earrings a pretty dangly necklace and your wedding ring or right hand ring.
Keep your handbag small that has your wallet, cell phone, keys and keep a larger bag in your car that has all the other things we "need" ... I keep the smaller one IN my big one and take out the big one when going into the "professional" environment. But I know my travel make up kit is with me, along with baby wipes, papers I think I may need, store recipts etc that I hang on to and want for emergency sake are not far away.

There is a website I've been using that has helped me a great deal. I've always suffered from lack of style and envied those who looked put together. I've gotten much better since subscribing to this email group. You can get a free weekly email, and for a small fee you can get additional information and suggestions for your body type.
http://www.missussmartypants.com/
After using it for a while, I started to get compliments about how I looked more energized and as if I'd lost weight, which I hadn't.

Check it out.

The secret to always looking pulled together is confidence that no matter what you look like you're wonderful. And I fake it until I make it. I give myself a pep talk as I leave the house. We tend to focus on the person and their interaction with us. It's only when the person is not interesting that we start to focus on the appearance. That is as long as our appearance is reasonable and in keeping with the surroundings. Wearing business clothes, not jeans and a t-shirt to a job interview for example.

i hear ya sister- i have two boys a husband, two dogs, a full time job, two separate schools, a house to clean, a yard to care for and sports schedules to keep- 9:30 pm is my magic hour by 9:30 the kids are showered and in bed with their clothes picked out for the next day I have a basic idea of what I am wearing in the morning- backpacks packed waters in the freezer equipment for that days game in the mud room ready to go dogs are fed and the list for tomorrow is on the counter-
here are a few things I have learned- there is a place for everything and every thing in its place
everything in the car comes out of the car and is put away when the garage door is shut,
laundry is put away right then not later, all laundry is done on Sunday
no dogs on the furniture (less dog hair)
I go through my bag once a week throw out anything unnecessary
delegate- kids have daily chores to help out if they are old enough
never wear anything that needs ironed unless someone is getting married or died.
a couple of pairs of good jeans and some nice T shirts and button shirts and you are golden for just about anything
Most of all give yourself a break you are a mom this world is messy the minute I get home I am in sweats and a T shirt because I am going to spill-wipe-drop something on me when I leave I change back into my " outside" clothes unless I am going to the hardware store then for some reason I just dont care.

Hi. I feel odd answering this because I feel like my life is in disarray, but people often comment on how 'together' I look so I must at least give that outward appearance.  I suffer from a messy house like you do with 2 toddler boys and a cluttery husband - I don't have a chance, but I do tend to look 'pulled together' at the school gate - as you mentioned. 

The key is to keep it simple and to pay attention to the detail. I am a SAHM and basically wear a uniform every day. Summer: Nice jeans, clean unwrinkled  tshirt in a classic colour (a bit of rayon or polyester mixed in with your cotton will go a long way toward keeping you unwrinkled), a pair of ballerina flats. Winter: add a cashmere or wool vneck sweater to the summer outfit and replace the ballerinas with good quality leather boots.  

For work, dresses are a godsend. You don't have to worry about matching, except for shoes, and it's quick. Just one piece on and go.

Accessories are also key. Wear them!, bit keep it simple. I wear pearl earrings, a watch, a simple silver necklace and my wedding ring.  I also always wear a belt. I can't tell you how much difference this will make in making you look finished. A good quality leather belt will finish your look. If it has belt loops, belt it!

Quality is key. Buy the most expensive basic items you can afford in classic colors.  Especially shoes. I find it so tragic when I see someone in a great outfit and they are wearing scratched up, old, cheap shoes.  The right shoes can make a cheap outfit look expensive and sadly the opposite is also true.

If you want to buy something that is trendy, go for it, but don't spend a lot of money.  Buy a cheap version, love it for the season it's 'in' and then get rid of it. 

Fit is also key. Your clothes need to fit you right. No muffin tops or baggy tshirts. If you're not perfectly shaped (as most of us aren't) buy clothes that fit the good bits and skim the bad. Take a look at how you look in clothes when seated, not just when standing in front of the mirror. I started doing this and was amazed that I didn't look near as good in some of my clothes as I thought I did. Some went to the Good Will immediately.

You've had lots of good advice on hair and make up, so I'll stop there. I did want to thank you for asking this question though. I've got some great ideas for keeping my house organized. I appreciate it and I wish you all the best.

A few suggestions-

Start working out, if you aren't already. You will find that even exercising 20-30 minutes per day will give you sooo much more energy, which you can then use to get ahead on the house cleaning, etc.

My hands are never empty. When I walk up the stairs, I grab what I can to put away upstairs. Same thing going downstairs.

Once you get the house clean/car clean/purse clean, it is easier to keep clean. Think about it; when your car is a mess, it's no big deal to just leave garbage in there...things just keep getting dirtier and more cluttered. But if it is already clean, you are more likely to make an effort to keep it clean. Spend the next few days off getting those areas clean.

Keep garbage bags or grocery sacks in your car, keep clorox wipes in each bathroom. I hurry and wipe the bathroom down right after I get ready and it takes less than 60 seconds. Open your mail over the shredder/recycling bin. All those things will help keep the hose cleaner and less cluttered. I promise small steps like this, that take maybe 1 minute a day, will save you hours of cleaning down the line.

Find a hairstyle that is easy to maintain. Get up before everyone else is awake. Enlist help (hubby or hired help). Good luck!

Take the time to choose appropriate clothes, store them already matched so you can pick quickly the whole outfit in the morning; take showers before bed rather than in the morning (depending on how the night goes, of course) so you can have 10' to make up in the bathroom; get a flattering, easy to maintain, haircut, get rid of all the extra, cheap looking stuff. Just get a little more organized.

I haven't tried it, but people on this site recommend fly lady. its a webpage with cleaning and organization and self affirmation tips.

you've got a lot of good suggestions below, so I won't repeat - but here are a few thoughts -

- we have an 80 lb dog, but no dog hair problems. She isn't allowed on the furniture, in the bedrooms, or to jump up on us, or in the front seat of the car. Minimizes the dog hair issues.

- buy mulitples of clothes that wear well and look good on you. for me, its the old navy dress trousers, the shirred v-neck shirts, double breasted blazers, capris, and sweaters. If you buy coordinating stuff, you can always swap out a sweater, etc and be right back out the door coordinated.

-keep your keys wallet and small make up case on your dresser. empty your purses nightly, choose a bag in the morning, put your items in the purse of choice in the morning.

-make your child a help not a hindrance, have them do clean up chores all the time. even a toddler can clear a table, wipe a sink, fold clothes, put toys away, shred paper.

- do as you go along, and at the end of the day, promise yourself that you will tackle just one more job.good luck and chin up.

Looks like you got lots of fantastic advice, which I really enjoyed reading through and will benefit from myself!!!
Here's something additional to consider:
1. We are our own worst critics. I would be willing to bet that there is not a single person who even notices half of the things you feel uncomfortable about!!!
2. The sexiest thing you can ever put on, is a smile. :-)

Check out flylady.com--she really helped me get organized and on top of things. She helps you learn how to de-clutter and how to organize and stay on top of things. It's a very long-term approach--no quick fixes!--but even a few of her suggestions can make a great difference.
I always choose my clothes the night before. I also installed a rod above my washer/drier so that clothes can come straight out of the drier and be hung up. It really helps keep clothes from getting wrinkled.

I think the key is simplify. Perhaps keep your hair short while your child is young. Have simple, classic clothes. It all may be boring but at least it's neat and no one can really criticize. And you can mostly get clothes nowadays that don't wrinkle. In terms of your house, car etc, it's a matter of quickly disposing of things. I never let stuff pile up. I hate clutter so I throw away, throw away, throw away. And I multitask like crazy. Make-up when I'm stopped at lights on the way to work. When I come in the door, I carry stuff in from my car right away and put garbage in the garbage etc. I have a place for everything so it's easy to put stuff away. When I do bring something home that I don't know what to do with, it's rare and then I fairly quickly find a place so I don't let things like that pile up. I put stuff at the stairs that needs to go upstairs so when I have to go up for something, I bring it with me and either put it away then or at least it's closer to where it needs to go. While you're in the shower, decide what you're going to wear so there's no wasted time in your closet. I also keep my clothes color organized. Sounds ridiculous but it really helps. I usually pick a pair of pants and since only certain colors go with certain colors, I decide what color I haven't worn in awhile and can go right to that color group.

But no one with a young kid is totally together!

I was just wondering the same thing the other day. No matter how hard I try, I can't keep up with everything! When I drop my daughter off at kindergarten there are moms that have hair/makeup done and a nice outfit and I am thrown together and look exhausted! Probably because I have an 8 week old and am sleep deprived, but I'd still like to have the appearance of being put together. My problem is that I get so overwhelmed that I just shut down and can't do anything until I get a burst of energy to tackle something. Good advise on here that I'm going to try!