Second Child Progressing Slower Then First

Updated on November 16, 2010
C.S. asks from Racine, WI
6 answers

I KNOW all children are different and I'm not trying to compare my kids-but here's my situation/question:

Our DD just turned 9 mo and she has no desire to crawl or pull herself up. She likes being in her exosaucer-but only for very brief periods. Developmentally she is fine-although on the low percentale for H/W. Our dr asked if she was with mommy more then our DS had been and she has. With my son I had to go back to work after 8 weeks and he was with gma's-with my DS I was a STAHM until just a few weeks ago. She is now also with gma's.

Our dr thinks it's because she was with me more and content to just hang with me and be held. And there is an element of truth to that-and I felt like I was always juggling the two kids needs so maybe I did just pick her up and take her around more then I did my son. But he also wanted to move-and I just followed his lead. She just seems content to hange out sitting on the floor or couch or whatever. She hates being on her tummy-but her neck is strong, etc. And she's very strong on her legs and can somewhat stand by herself-she just doesn't show an interest in pulling herself up. It's like it hasn't occured to her yet.

Is there more we should be doing to encourage her-am I just being impatient? Thanks

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J.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

I understand your concern. I also can tell you first-hand that every child is completely different! I have boy/girl twins who are now 1 1/2, and I always thought one of them was "behind" because the other seemed "advanced". Having two kids that are the same age, but not on the same level developmentally can make you go crazy--I was always thinking the worst. The truth is, most of the time, they just aren't ready. My son didn't crawl until he was 11 mo. while my daughter crawled around 9 mo. Eventually my son caught up and was walking before my daughter!

1 mom found this helpful
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S.T.

answers from New York on

My daughter walked at 8 months - the pediatrician was stunned when she walked acoss the room to her. But she didn't speak full sentences until she was nearly 3. My son walked around age 1 - but was talking at a more normal age. My niece didn't even attempt to walk until she was 18 months - but she was talking in full, distinct, completely understandable sentences by then! Each kid is so different. Their little brains focus on differennt things at different times. Some kids have their large motor skills developed early, while some kids are better with their fine motor skills. Some never really develope their fine motor skills all that well (my 11 yr old son's handwriting is abysmal).

My daughter who was walking so early, by the way, does not, in any way excell in sports or physical activities - in fact she's pretty unskilled although she tries. My son needs extra help with his language skills and he's in middle school although he's come a long way and he's a great athlete. So you just never know how it's all going to come out.

My daughter who seemed verbally delayed as a toddler eventually learned, of course, to speak full sentences and her language skills, at age 14, are right in the middle of the range. Her pre-school teacher told me that she was certain that my daughter would arrive at kindergarten with the ability to communicate! ;o)

Unless your pediatrician really sees something that's out of the normal ranges I would not worry about it. You'll get past this mama and chuckle when you remember how it worried you for this brief moment in time!

1 mom found this helpful
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M.R.

answers from Columbus on

They sound like they each have very different personalities. That is hard wired, not much you can do about it. Nothing is behind, and crawling is not a milestone at all. I would be happy that she is happy and not worry a bit untill she has missed a milestone and is showing signs that she can't do something.

If you have a third, you will soon discover that you can actually have PB&J three ways...they will all be different!

M.

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J.P.

answers from Boise on

My DS and DD are similar. I was told by my ped, that while girls are usually quicker with verbal skills, they are slower with motor skills. My DD is only 6 months, but just started rolling over, and only randomly. My son did it consistently starting at 3 months. The ped also said that the seconds (whatever they are) tend to not get the same intense one on one time that the firsts do, as you are juggling both. I am just trying to relax and see what she wants to do. I won't worry until the doc worries. And 9 months is too early to worry too.

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D.P.

answers from Detroit on

If all her developmental milestones are checked, I wouldn't worry too much. SHe may surprise you in a couple of weeks.

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N.W.

answers from Dallas on

Neurodevelopmentalists (NACD-National Association of Child Development, Little Giant Steps, and others) are organizations that teach parents how to work with their children. These organizations really emphasize crawling and creeping because it is important for brain function. You may want to ask your ped about primitive reflexes as this seems to be newer information and research in the developmentally delayed community. My son has autism which is why I am familiar with these issues. You might look locally for your early childhood intervention (state or county service) and ask for an evaluation which should be free. This is not to say there is anything wrong with your child but don't wait for your pediatrician. I was the one to tell my ped that my son is autistic and many of my friends had the same experience. So my point only being, ask questions outside your doctor's office and if you child does have any issues, get help early.

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