Second Child Meeting Milestones Slower than First

Updated on September 23, 2009
M.M. asks from Springvale, ME
10 answers

My first son is 2 years old and I guess did things pretty quick-he cut teeth at 4 months, crawled at 6 months, walked at 9 months, and did his first sign language at 8 months. My second son is now 9 months and just seems to not be doing as much. He crawls and everything and pulls himself up so I guess gross motor isnt an issue but he isnt really as chatty or trying to communicate as much as I remember my first being-is this normal? Is that what people call the second child syndrome? I know we dont have as much one on one time so maybe thats why...what are your experiences?

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H.S.

answers from Boston on

Keep in mind that you have 2 different kids, each one with their own strengths. Don't worry about milestones, as they are NOT set in stone.

Both will do fine, just give them the love they need to grow. Personality isn't anything you can change.

H.

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L.S.

answers from Hartford on

The only thing i can say is that all kids are different. I know it's hard... because no matter what everyone says you expect them to be the same... but they are not.

I have three. The first one developed very normally... then the second one came... and boy oh boy was she different! Her first words were at 6 mo.. by 12 months she was linking words and she was speaking in full sentences by 15 mo.

Then the third came... and i expected that one to be like either one or the other... but you know what? She ended up being TOTALLY different than both of them! She took some of the traits of the first and some of the ones from the second.

then on top of that all of their personalities and how they deal with the same events are different. How they deal with each other is different...

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M.M.

answers from Boston on

Hi M.!
I wouldn't worry ... I agree w/ earlier posts that it sounds like your first was on the earliwer side of the curve. My little man (now 8) crawled at 7 months and walked at 12 and and half months and was cutting his first tooth at eight and months when we picked him up (yes, he's adopred) and babbled alot...THe "normal" range for walking, I've heard, is between 10 to 17 months...
You could check with your pedi if you want peace of mind...
Take care
M.

D.B.

answers from Boston on

The first one sounds like he was a real early bird with most things. The second one sounds right on schedule. In any case, DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF!! The one-on-one wasn't the reason your first one walked so early. My son didn't say his first word until 16 months but then he pretty rapidly went into sentences. Now he's super chatty and articulate. Your child may do the same, or he may just talk on the later side and be a quieter kid. It's also possible that your first one's milestones were much more noticed by you - now you are being attentive to 2 kids and it does split your attention, but that doesn't mean you are depriving #2. It just means that your fascination was, as would be normal, greater with the first one. Also, you're picking up more of what your 2nd one needs because you've been down this road before. I know that I spent a lot of time anticipating my son's needs and so there really was no need for him to talk anyhow! Now you're just more experienced, between it being the 2nd kid and your daycare work! I bet, if you look, your 2nd child is doing, or will do, more things (just different things) earlier. Be open, and just enjoy. His walking & crawling schedules sounds right on target.

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M.B.

answers from Hartford on

Sounds actually like your older was on the earlier side of the curve for doing everything. Every child is different. Is your 9 month old babbling? Talk to your pediatrician about doing an ages and stages questionaire if you are really worried about it, but honestly he sounds right on target. It's hard not to compare, but really try not to. Just keep talking to and reading to him and if there's no improvement in his speech in about six months then you could seek some early intervention.

M.

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C.D.

answers from Providence on

M., I have four kids and every one was different! The only time to be concerned if if he's not hitting milestones at all. For example, my first walked at 10 months, my twins walked at 9 months and 17 months, and my last walked at 12 months. They did it on their own schedules but...they all walked (although there was a time I thought my son was going to crawl to kindergarten)! Today, that slow walker is the most laid back 5 year old you'll ever meet. If there's no medical issues, it's all personality...let it shine and enjoy things when they happen. :)

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C.H.

answers from Providence on

Every child is different! My first son was the same way reallly fast at doing everything. My second didn't start walking until 13 months, no teeth until 15 mos everything was a lot slower. My Pedi said that it's normal b/c I don't have the same 1 on 1 time as I did for the first and the oldest does everything for the 2nd so why bother learning. I now have 4 kids and they all have met their milestones at different times. I have 1 that I swear came out of the womb talking! Don't worry.

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R.K.

answers from Boston on

I would not be worried about the motor skills normal time to start walking is anywhere up to 18 months and as long as they have a way to get around by 10 months. As for talking I think average is a year. My oldest has always been a talker and our youngest not so much but loved to babble it was so cute when he would go on and on in what sounded like chinese I miss it. If your son isn't babbling then I would mention it at your next appt.

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C.B.

answers from Boston on

Hi M.,

Take a deep breath & relax. All is well. The same exact thing happened with my 2 boys. My oldest had teeth by 3 mos., fully walking at 9 mos., talking in short sentences by 1 yr & holding full comprehensible converstations with us at 18 mos. --- insane!!!! he's unbelievable & still that way now that he's in school (now 2nd grade).

My 2nd (and also the youngest) didn't cut teeth until about 6 mos., he didn't walk until 13 mos. or so, he babbled a bit by a year - but not much, and didn't even really talk in short sentences until 16 mos or so. Full sentences didn't come til after his 2nd birthday & now ... he's 5 yrs old - and he does NOT shut up!!!! lol he's perfectly fine, healthy & normal.

It's hard to go from a kid who's advancing quickly as your first child, to one who's going at a slower or more average pace as your second child. Either way, I"m sure your child is perfectly fine & just doing his/her own thing. ALL kids are different, no two are alike - even twins develop at different times/ages/etc. So breathe ... and if you're still nervous or concerned, talk to your child's pediatrician. Good luck~~!

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K.G.

answers from Burlington on

Same thing here! My daughter is almost a year, refuses to sign, while my son at this age was quite good. Thought this one would be easier since he releasrned the signs and gestures to her. Physically she is doing great, climbing and descending the stairs eeek! But verbally...only a couple of words. Seems to comprehend, but hard to tell sometimes.

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