Second Baby Due in 4 Weeks

I have 2 boys of my own 2 1/2 and 4 so I know how you feel :) My advice would be don't make a big deal about being gone, and if you aren't nervous about it she might not be either. Maybe you could tell her you'll be gone but then tell her all the fun things she'll be doing while you're gone. Get her excited about it rather than worried. And make it about her and the fun she'll have rather than about the new baby. Another fun idea might be to leave her a little present to open each day you are gone. She could open it each morning and it would give her something to look forward to each evening. Hope this helps :) Good luck!

Hi S.,

My mother had eight children. When she was near delivery she would tell the youngest that she was going to get them a baby. We are all very close. I remember her coming home with "my baby". I couldn't have been more excited. I can still remember her coming into the apartment and sitting on the couch and unwrapping him. I just kept saying "that's my baby, that's my baby". I couldn't wait to touch his hand. I was 28 months old. I am now 50 and he is still my baby lol.

I am not sure if they still have the program its been a few years, but when our son was due and our daughter was 2 1/2 we went to Crittenton Hospital and had a class to show her where the baby was going to be born and they put in perspective for a two year old to understand about diapers, bathing,etc., It was a wonderful experience for all of us.
We also got her a life size doll that she named Thomas (which is my son's name) so she could see what it would be like to have a little brother.
Congratulations!

Do not refer to her as being a "baby" anymore... Only the "big girl" :-)
Get a couple books about big sisters and brothers and make those your nightly reading...

Who is staying with her at home? Talk it up!!! Plan stuff for them to do that you know she LOVES.
Have them go to the store and buy a little "present" for the baby. Make sure to tell the adult to let her make the final decision, help wrap it, and bring it in.

Call the hospital. A lot of times on a slow day the nurses will more than happily show you around the maternity area... I don't think she needs to see the c-section room... More of the kind of room she will visit you in. See what they say about sneaking you in for a quick visit...

Talk about how when the baby gets here your belly is going to be "ouchie" for a little while. So when she comes and visits you she can sit beside you and not feel slighted since she's not ON you... A bit of pre knowledge is awesome...

When you do have her come visit make sure YOU are NOT holding new baby and she can climb right up beside you unincumbered... Then have daddy or other adult bring baby over and introduce them.

When you go home have someone else bring baby in the house. Your arms should be open for her to hug and sit down and cuddle...

The reality of a baby of her own isn't gonna sink in fully until after baby is here... But talking about being gentle and giving her some knowledge is the best way to go...

If you havn't already, I agree with getting a babydoll and play set. Let her name her baby, and be its mommy... If your planning on nursing don't be suprized to see a baby under her shirt at some point... Don't make a big deal out of it. :-) But do insist that she treats the baby like she would THE BABY... aka, no throwing, hitting, etc.

Also, before baby comes I would go to the store and buy a few cheap toys and put them in the house... :-) Then on those days that you NEED her to settle down so you can tend the baby, there is a distraction already available...
Good luck and have fun!!!

I had my 2nd baby when my daughter was 30 months old. I also had a scheduled c-section and she had never been away from me for any amount of time either so I know how you are feeling. We kept talking to her about the baby and how I was going to be away for a few days. Then when the day came we took our oldest daughter to a friends while I had the c-section then a few hours later my husband went and got her and brought her to the hospital to see the baby and me. He did this everyday while I was there. She reacted great to both me and the new baby. Its been almost 4 months and we have had no jealousy issues so far. Just talk to her about the situation a lot, have her feel the baby kick and to kiss the belly, and try to involve her as much as possible even once the baby gets here. Try to get her to help you out such as grabbing diapers and wipes. My daughter loves to help out.

Hi! when we had our second one we had him come up when nobody else was there so that the new baby wasn't getting all the attention and we picked out a toy for the new baby to give to him so that he felt special too! the nurses gave him a big brother sticker also! just make the oldest fell special! also when ever he wanted exect for when I feeding her we traded so that he didn't feel like he had to fight for our attention! it seemed to work pretty good she will be a year old next month and they are always together and hate being apart! he loves her to piece! good luck!

My 25 month old is understanding that mommy has a baby in her tummy. She loved seeing the ultrasound pictures as well and points to them saying "baby in tummy". Who knows how much of this she understands, we talk about it a lot, but I'd see if I could find pictures of babies in utero and explain to her that the baby in Mommy's tummy needs to come out now, so you'll be in the hospital for the doctor to help get the baby out. Once you're admitted have whoever is taking care of her, bring her to the hospital to see you and the new baby, and it will click. She should be fine. Also, try to plan something special for just her for those days that you're gone, something that would hopefully distract her from missing you too much, or make her resentful of the baby. And lastly, when you do come home, be sure you give her LOTS of one on one time while other's help out with the baby, that should help nip the jealousy in the bud. My mom had some issues when I was born with my older sister, but she found handing me off to relatives and focusing on my sister helped tons! Best wishes!

My daughters are two years apart and I had the same concerns when my second was on her way. My then-two year old was my shadow and had never spent any long periods of time from me (including never spending the night elsewhere). She did very well. My husband made sure that she visited the baby and me at the hospital a few times a day and we made a big deal about being a big sister. The thing she loved the most was her special "big sister shirt," which she refused to take off.
Congratulations in advance and just know that everything will be fine. Kids are resilient!

i've been thinking of/ working on the same topic since i'm due with #2 in June...my first will be 25mos. anyways, a cute idea (not already shared) that i'm going to do is...make (or buy) a pillow where you can slide in a photo of you and your daughter. this may be helpful at night when you're away and she's home. it's like having Mommy with her. since it's a pillow, she may want to bring "mommy"with her whereever she goes! just a thought... best of luck with #2

Tell her what is going on. Who is watching her? What are they doing? That she can come visit you (and be sure NOT to be holding hte baby when she comes).

MY son was 3.5 when my daughter was born...so it was easier to explain. But, my parents came (I also was a scheduled c-section) and spoiled him while I was in the hospital. They planned dinners out and trips to the library and hiking. He was so excited. He came to visit me each day and brought me a cake! We had picked out a gift for the baby and he brought that and I had a gift for him too.

I left the hospital early (2 days instead of 3)...partly to get back home to him and partly b/c I was uncomfortable in the hospital.

A great way is to buy her a new baby and maybe even a few trial size items such as shampoo, lotion and ect. (Empty the bottles of course)Give her the baby when you bring your baby home or have it at the hospital when she comes for the 1st visit. When ever you have to feed the baby she will do the same with hers instead of trying to get your attention. You can sing read and other things to the babies together. Good luck!

First of all, congratulations!!!

What you could do is get her a little something special to give to her at the hospital, but not let her know about it until then so it's a surprise.

What I did for my 2 girls when I had my third (son) is get them each their own little purse with a disposable camera so they could take their own pictures, some snacks and like a puzzle & markers or something to keep them occupied too.

You could also assign someone (like dad or a grandparent) to take your daughter down to the gift shop after baby is born so she can pick out something just from her.

Oh, and you could probably find a book from the library geared toward her age to help prepare her that way too. We bought our daughter 'Arthur's Baby' and read it to her up until the birth. Then our second daughter enjoyed it when the next time around came too!

S. ~
One of the things I've noticed being an OB nurse is that at that age, they don't really comprehend time very well....one day is the same as two or three. Once she sees you, however, she will realize "oh yeah, that's who I've been missing!" She'll probably want to crawl up onto the bed with you, be held, etc. The bad part is when it's time to leave. I've seen many little ones just crying their heart out when they're leaving....I'm sure, though, that they're fine two minutes down the road, but it's heartbreaking watching them leave. So just be prepared for a scene when it's time for her to go home.

You can call the hospital and ask the staff for a tour. Our hospital does a tour every week for whoever shows up for it.

good luck!
D.

You've gotten a lot of great advice. To broach the subject with her, check out some children's books on the subject. Mr. Rogers has a really nice one that talks about how your child might feel when the new baby comes, and I also liked Dr. Sears book.
I have three boys. Besides the books being great to open the discussion, and a new big brother party, the one thing we did that they still talk about is when #3 arrived we splurged and bought kiddie digital cameras for the "big" boys from the new baby. It doesn't necessarily have to be a camera, but something you know she really wants, or would value as really special from her new sibling.
Best of luck to you all.

I had this same problem with my two year old a mere 3 weeks ago! So I know how you feel. My boyfriend and I had a special "big sister" dinner complete with her fav. foods and a cake. We explained to her that she is big now and soon there will be a little baby in the house and she will have to help mommy with him. Toddlers this age love to help [espessily with younger children] and love it when you ask for there input. We also got her a new doll. We looked for one that resembled a new born the most and told her that that was HER baby. After we brought Connor home Cassandra adjusted very well. You have to keep them imformed and make it real not just words otherwise they think its just another bedtime story =) Hope everything goes well for you.

Show her on the calendar and mark off the days. When you are in the hospital, daddy can mark off the couple of days until you get home. Make sure she comes to the hospital to see you and baby as soon as possible. Have someone else be holding the baby, so when she walks in, your arms are open for her. Gush over her for at least a few minutes, how much you missed her etc, before you introduce her to the baby. Maybe give her a special stuffed animal or baby to cuddle with while you are away.