Second Baby

Hi Corrine,

I have 3 girls. My first was 4 when my second was born, and my second was 4 when my third was born.

It is a great age for them, as they are big enough to be interested and want to help. I agree with everyone who is saying keep her involved. I always let the girls help with things, attend doctor's appointments, view ultra sounds, etc. Helps make them feel connected rifght from the beginning.

But I have a few specific suggestions that worked for me.

After your pregnant and far enough along, buy one of those headsets that you can hear the baby's heart beat with at home. Let your little one listen often. You can also hear the baby move around. Very cool. My girls would just curl up in bed with me and ask to listen.

Also, pick something to do with her that makes her feel special, and that she isn't being "replaced" or has to share your love! And continue to do it after the baby comes.

For example, with my last baby, who is now 6 months old, when I found out I was pregnant, I started taking Mackenzie, 4, to breakfast and Paint me a story at the Artful Potter, every Thursday morning. That was our special time together. And we still do it now. That way she saw that even though there was someone new to love, it didn't change us. She was still special. And Mommy can love everyone.

Also, when the baby comes, assign her a specific job, just for her. Like getting diapers when you need one. Or putting them in the Diaper Genie when your done changing. We call or Diaper Genie the Diaper Eater. Mackenzie thinks it is so much fun to stick them in there and watch the diaper eater swallow them down!

When you have the baby shower, make sure she is included, and there are a few gifts for her there too! A real dolly that cries and eats, etc is always good.

And when the baby comes, make sure to have some "I'm the New Big Sister" things packed in your hospital bag! A Tshirt, a Ribbon to pin on her, etc.

And lastly, St Rose Hospital offers a sibling class! This class is great! Designed just for small children expecting a new baby. It talks all about what happens to mommy. Because sometimes they get scared, especially when you go to the hospital. It teaches them how to hold a new baby. About their heads and soft spots. They get to do some fun activities and they get a certificate at the end! Certified new sister!

I am no expert, but these things worked for me and my girls. I never had problems with regression, or jealousy.

Just very proud big sisters!

I hope this is helpful to you! And good luck!

My older son was 3.5 when my younger was born. It was a great age. We talked a lot about the baby coming, he talked to "his" baby, came to a few prenatal appointments, etc. We also read books about having siblings too. We had a friend of mine who was close to him come and be present the week his brother was due, to give him extra attention and support. That worked well. We also got him involved in helping to care for his brother early on, but also made sure that we each gave him some one on one time whenever possible so that he knew he was still loved and special. It was really a great age to have another. Good luck!

My husband and I have two sons, although we did not do the gender selection. The internet or your doctor (maybe even a midwife?) might have more suggestions on that. I have an older stepdaughter that lives with us, and she was four when we were pregnant with my first son. We talked with her about it when I started to show and bought a doll so she could have her own baby while I was pregnant. We showed her books that we got from the library that showed her what the baby looked like while he was developing, and she loved it. It really made her feel involved, and excited about having a baby around. We also started calling her "big sister" and got her used to being the big girl instead of the baby. It worked for us, so I hope this helps!

what we tried when we wanted a second baby and boy was to take ovulation tests. when the stick showed i was ovulating, then we'd try. you want to wait till the egg is already droped. the male sperm are the fastest but they also die first and all that is left are the female sperm and i think, think that they can live for about 5-7 days so don't have sex the week before you think you are ovulating. it worked for us, our son is 7 1/2 months old now. any other questions you can message me back, good luck.

Hi C., I actually got pregnant about 2 weeks after stopping the pill which was a surprise to me. I stopped taking the pill because we decided to try for girl this time(have 2 boys) and then I decided not to cause I told my husband that I changed my mind because I thought I was too old(34). But to my surprise as I was waiting to start my pills again after my period, I never got it and discovered I was pregnant. Which was good cause I finally got my girl. I just explained what life was going to be like after the baby to my 5yr old son and it helps if you buy a baby doll so it's a little more realistic. I also let him help out after the baby was born. He would hold her on the Boppy, even help feed her after she got to be about a month. You may want to check for sibling classes at your hospital, there are also plenty of books for siblings. As for selecting the gender, try the Chinese calendar.I haven't tried it pre-pregnancy,but I have checked it afterwards and it turned out to be correct with all my children. My sister inlaws swear by it. Hope this helps!

Hi C.! :)

Check out a book called "How to choose the sex of your baby" (forget author) It works!! :)

M.

C.,

I only have advice to help with your daughter and her future brother or sister.
What I did with my daughter is included her in everything.
From the time I found out I was pregnant, I called it "our baby".
I took her to most doctor appts, so she could hear the heart beat & see the ultrasound.
She went shopping for baby things. It even got to a point where she would pull stuff off the racks and tell me "her baby" wants this.
It really helped her with the transition.
Once I had my son, she loved to help me with him as much as possible.

Good Luck,
~G.~

Hello,
I am a mother of three 25,21, and 18.
I know nothing about birth control but know for a fact that taking baths with epsom salts and baking soda created the proper alkaline ph for boys. If you want to take it further......when you mucous is elastic at day 13 after period not the best time for a boy. I had two boys four years apart. Soaked in tubs of epsom salts and baking soda.....finally starting soaking in vinegar to change ph and got a girl....plus paid close attention to ovulation mucous. The gymnastics we did as well as unfortunately didn't keep that pregnancy. It was funny though trying different ways.....definitely comic relief.
Good luck with conceiving your boy.............also I told everyone my next baby was going to be a girl........affirmations are important.....or maybe she just didn't want to let me down....

Dear C.,

I only can give you a good answer on getting your daughter ready for the new baby. My grandson bought his daugher a new baby doll and we made doll blankets, so that she could have a new baby too. It seems to have eased the way for the new baby because Tyler is very loving and interested in her sister. Both she and her brother are fascinated with the new one's tiny fingers and toes esp. We have a wonderful picture of that first moment. So just make up stuff like that to involve her in getting ready for the baby and afterward and you will have a lovely time. C. N.

First off, I wish you all the luck in the world trying to conceive. My husband and I have been trying since March, but so far we have had no luck. We got pregnant with our son (who is now 2) the first month we were off the pill, and I expected it to be the same this time. Unfortunately, it's taking longer than we wanted.

My advice to you is not to get your hopes up. You say that your daughter will be 3.5 years old when the baby is born, but you aren't even pregnant yet. What if it takes a year to conceive? I am not wishing that upon you, of course, but I think it's a good idea to be realistic. It could take awhile, regardless of the fact that you already have a child. Of course, you could get pregnant the first time you try, which would be wonderful!

As far as your other questions, I don't have any experience with natural gender selection, but I'm sure you could find out a lot of info online.

Birth control...ahhh yes... the dr. told us about 4 months from the time we got off of it until we would get pregnant, my best friend who was on the same birth control as I was took her 4 months, two weeks after I got off the birth control I was pregnant. So That part depends on your immune system and your body. There is no telling how long it will take you to get pregnant.

We also talked to our Dr. about natural selection. There is no way to gaurantee you will have a boy. As we were told, it all depends on the sperm. No position will guarantee whether you will have a boy or a girl. We seriously thought we were having a girl, I had dreams about a little girl, we had a name and everything, but then the ultrasound So really there is no way you or anyone else can ensure that a certain position will produce a girl or another position will produce a boy. It is all up to the sperm and God!

Good luck getting pregnant and having a boy. But be ready to accept a little girl if that is what God has in store for you!

:)

Hi C.,
First off congrats on the descion to have a second baby. It's very exciting. As far as birth control goes, I've heard the general rule is to go off it three months before wanting to concieve. Now that's just the rule. I went of birth control with my first baby and it took three months to concieve. I went off brith control with my second baby in March thinking that we would start trying around June and we got pregnant in April! So we got pregnant the first month off of the BC. So it's kind of a crap shoot. You got pregnant with your first while still on BC so you might have a good chance of getting pregnant pretty quickly without it. As far as getting your daughter ready, there are some wonderful books for kids that help explain the whole experience. Go to your local book store or even the library and you can pick up some really cute ones. Hope this helps. Good luck with getting your boy. Not really sure what works. We concieved during my ovulation so that might be why we got a boy. Not sure though.

Hi Corrine:

I also got pregnant with my first child while on birth control. I don't know about you, but after that, I stopped using the pill. I'm pretty sure it only takes a few months to get it out of your system, so you should have no interference on that front. With our second child, we got pregnant right away (we actually had planned on waiting a month longer to begin trying, but it worked out differently :) There are so many things you can do to increase your chances of conceiving. The first thing I would do if I were you is go to my OBGYN. They can put you on prenatal pills now to help prepare your body, and tell you different things to do.

As for preparing your daughter, it should be fairly easy. My daughter was 3 when her brother was born (our second child). We waited until you could visibly see that "mommy has a baby in her belly" to talk with her about it. That way she had something to go by. We showed her some of the ultrasound pictures to help, and told her all the great things about being a big sister. We had absolutely no problems whatsoever. She loved the fact that there was a new baby.

As for the natural selection of the gender, I really have no idea, but I'm sure there is a ton of information on the internet. You may even want to ask your dr. if they know anything about it. And hopefully, some of the other moms on here will give you some good advice. Good luck with expanding your family. Take care.

H.

To prepare the older siblings, we did alot of what everyone else said. After the baby came home everyone always wants to come see the new one, so we had a big brother/sister BBQ. The older kids thought it was for them and while everyone was here they got to see the new addition as well. I know Kaiser too offers sibling classes so you may want to check with your hospital.
If your daughter comes to see you in the hospital, you may want to wait until your IV is out. My kids arrived before I even got out of the bed the first time (about 30 min) and I think the IV and everything else was a little much for them. In fact one kid actually was sitting on my hand for pictures and I couldnt say anything as I didnt want them to be upset.
Best of luck, and it wont take long for you to figure out how to help each one individually and together.

Don't count your chickens before they are hatched... I thought for sure I would get pregnant right away.. it took 1 month of trying to get pregnant with our daughter. Well it has been almost 2 years or trying and still no baby. I was wondering how to get my dd ready for a sibling while TTC, now she is a whole nother year older... and keeps asking for a baby brother or sister! lol

Good luck TTC!