Screeching When Told No

Our daughter did that same thing! After trying the things you did, a Dr. recommended we "pop" her mouth...not a spanking, but a "pop" -- like if you wanted to make a pop sound with your mouth, you'd pop your lips. It doesn't hurt, but REALLY surprised her...to a point she'd grasp her breath, thus stopping the screech. As she'd breathe in, it gave us time to get right up in her face and say, "no"...firmly; not mad, just firm. It doesn't take long for this to be effective. The other thing the Dr. recommended was to put water on our fingers and flick it at her face. It would have the same effect -- make her gasp in surprise and give us time to get in her face and firmly say "no."

As she got older, she'd realize we wouldn't "pop" her in public, so she would pull this same thing when we were in public. At the state fair, (she was 3 at the time), we sat her on the curb and told her she was in "time out" until she could control herself. Then, my DH and I stood with our back to her (about a step in front) and let her scream it out. Yes, we got looks, but the second time we had to do that, the screaming was shorter...the third time we did it, shorter still. We sat on curbs by the sides of highways, outside of restaurants, outside grocery stores (I'd leave a full cart in an aisle sometimes to take her outside), etc. One day, just the threat of doing it was enough to stop her. Incidentally, when people would look at us disapprovingly, we'd ignore it. Many people would give us a "knowing" look like "I've been there, man, keep at it." Others would smile an encouraging smile. If you're a step away from someone making loud noise...even with your back turned, you are clearly in control.

Good luck!!

lol a lot of kids go through this. First of all when you give in some of the time it encourages it because he hasn't a clue which times you would give in so he just has to out last you. When he screetches blow gently in his face, it makes him catch his breath and then firmly tell him "no screetching" or "use inside voice". If he does it again, blow into his face again then put him in his room or in a time out for a minute. It won't take him long to figure out there is negitive aspects to screetching.

I'm laughing because we have two screechers in our house!! With my oldest, who's 5, we have said he's simply not allowed to do it to be obnoxious (joyous screeching is hard to hate); he must do it in his room. If he's mad, he just gets put in his room until he can control himself. The baby we just ignore!

The responses so far have given suggestions on how to get the screeching to stop. I think this is only part of the solution.

You're saying 'no' and he's responding by screeching. This is communicating. This is a dialog, maybe rudimentary, but hey, he's not even two years old yet! He's still young. You're saying "no" and he's saying "I don't like that answer". You understand perfectly what he means by that screeching.

If you only stop the response, he's still angry, he disagrees, and is now being taught to be silent about it. Fast forward that same behavior twenty years. He's mad at his significant other and he just clams up. He doesn't like something at work, he just accepts it. His buddy says something that annoys him, he just buries his feelings. Not a good way to live life.

Instead, why not start to teach him how to communicate his feelings in appropriate ways that will help him get his point across, to unoffensively express his emotions, and to look for understanding of another's point of view?

How to do that? - He screeches. You then echo that screeching into words. "You're angry!" You give him examples and vocabulary of how to acceptably verbalize. "You really want to do X, but we need to do Y."

It doesn't mean that you will do what he wants. It means that you recognize his point of view. (another teaching moment) A child that knows his point is heard can be well on the way to calming down about something. Validation is a strong tool when dealing with toddlers and preschoolers.

As he gets older, he'll better understand why certain things can't happen and also he'll just stop wanting to do lots of those silly things he wants now because he'll mature and learn. But for now, his viewpoint is very valid to him and the more examples you give of putting his viewpoint into socially acceptable sentences, the easier it will be for him to do it for himself as he grows up. -- as well as teaching volume control. :)

my 21 mo old has been doing this for a while now, but is getting better. MAIN THING, BE CONSISTENT. Tell him you don't understand him, use his words. Or ignore him. Tell him once, and every other time, just say Uhh-Oh! He knows he's not supposed to do it, the more you talk trying to convince him the longer he'll scream, and the more frequent it will occur. Hang in there, they are persistent but it will get better if he's not getting the results he's looking for!

I raised five boys. By almost two they get that screeching is not a good thing to do. The screeching is the same as a temper tantrum, annoying as can be but also pretty normal. I tried brain washing on my middle son and it worked like a charm. He would lay down on the floor in a store if we said no. We followed the rules and ignored him, easier at home than in public so we stayed home a lot. When he calmed down I would say "oh I can't wait until you're two so you wont't do this anymore". He turned two and it stopped. The same guy had two older brothers that always knew what he wanted. He would say "uh" and they would get it for him. As a result he didn't start talking forever. I finally told his brothers and everyone tell him to "use words". It took a while and some frustration on his part but he finally started to talk. Good luck with your little guy!