School Question - Fort Lauderdale,FL

Time for a meeting with the principal AND the teacher AND you AND your ex. Have the email and let your husband ask the teacher why he misquoted him to your daughter.
Then ask for a room change.

That would make me really mad. Make sure you let the principal know what the teacher is doing too. Document everything. Go into a meeting yourself with her dad, the teacher and the principal and get this figured out. It does sound like he is picking on her. I had a teacher pick on me and flat out lie to my mom about my behavior once. Don't let this go.

Ditto most of the other posters, but I would add that your ex really needs to send a written correction that he was misquoted and he did NOT say what the teacher says he did. For the record.

I cannot for the life of me understand how a teacher is able to email a student. This would never in a million years happen in my district. I would start there if I were you. If it IS standard in your school it shouldn't be. You essentially take the parent out of the loop when a parent communicates like this with a student. Fine for High School but no younger. Homework should be posted on the teacher's web page instead of emailed.
I would ask to meet the teacher to clarify the meeting that your ex had with him because you are hearing two different versions. I would also talk to other parents and see what their experiences are with his teacher to see how they compare withyour daughter's. It may be that he is just a jerk...or maybe your daughter really is acting up in this class.

how does the teacher even have your daughter's email address? (btw. I am not one for kids having their own email. )

At this point I would document everything, print the email, and talk to the principal. I would request your daughter be moved to a new classroom as this one seems to be a 'toxic' combination. Perhaps finish out the term and then when she returns in January, she's in a new class.

I would discuss with the principal how it was unprofessional of him to cc the child on the teacher/parent meeting notes. While my sks routinely emailed their teachers or turned in homework that way, the teachers NEVER cc'd them on anything that was of concern between the adults.

I would also ask if she could be moved to another classroom if you feel you cannot work with this teacher and that it is not benefiting your DD. She may have to change a lot of her classes to get out of his, so you need to discuss that possibility with her. I swapped classes mid year in 7th grade (for other reasons) and while I never did understand transitive and intransitive verbs, I did alright. If she swaps after Christmas, then she'll be there when teachers have to review material anyway after the break.

But I would absolutely get a face to face meeting with the principal with copies of the emails. CCing a student on an email that calls her a liar (and misrepresents what her own father says) is just being mean. It is to the point that she doesn't want to attend at all. Definitely pursue this.

I am definitely NOT defending the teacher, but please be aware: When teachers ask for e-mail addresses at the start of the school year, they do often end up with not only mom's and/or dad's address but also the kid's address. When our teacher (also 6th grade) sends out all-class e-mails I notice that most of them are parent addresses but many seem clearly to be the students' own addresses. I agree totally that the teacher should have ensured that the meeting notes went ONLY to the parents, but if he pulled addresses off some list he might inadvertently or unthinkingly plugged in all the addresses for your family without even thinking about your daughter seeing things. I would definitely complain to him and over his head about these notes going directly to your child, but you might also mention that "If you use a general e-mail list you really need to ensure that student e-mails are in a totally separate list."

Yes, have your ex e-mail a calm statement that the representation of what he said is not at all what he recollects saying and that if the teacher misunderstood, the misunderstanding needs to be corrected.

It is interesting that the teacher accused your child of flat-out cheating then very quickly backtracked on that accusation. I would ask him about this: Was she or wasn't she? Or did he mistake kids helping each other (which could be allowed--was it a group project, were they supposed to discuss stuff? A worksheet? A test? The situation does matter) for kids cheating? If so, why did he make that kind of mistake? Basically, what made him change his tune? Saying "it was no big deal" is not the same as saying "I was wrong." I'd want him to break down what he thought he saw; what the kids were working on at that time; what he believes your child did; why it was, then was suddenly not, a big deal.

Is this teacher experienced or fairly new? He sounds like either a long-timer who wants things just his way, or a newer teacher who doesn't know how to handle some kids very well. Either type can create problems if the teacher gets a notion that one kid needs "watching."

Yes, involve the principal and say this teacher needs to start from scratch with your child and drop what seem to be assumptions that she's got issues and is just lying to him. But go into any meetings being very calm and not emotional; carry in printed copies of all e-mails to and from him (this makes principals and teachers very nervous if you have a paper trail, so do it); and be calmly clear that "we're not out to work against the teacher here, we want to work with him, but we want to discuss a clean slate" etc. Don't get accusatory or angry; that makes principals label you as "those" parents who believe their child is a perfect angel, and you don't; you're there to get this adult to give her the same chance as other kids.

And next time -- you and your ex need to go to all meetings with everyone (teacher, principal, counselor, anyone) together, not separately. That gives each of you the other there as your witness and it shows the school that although you are not togehter, you are totally united about your child. It also means you both hear the same things at the same time and don't have to report things to each other second-hand.

I had the same type of trouble with my daughter's 5th grade teacher, she is now 25. I kinda wish you could put a nanny cam in your child's school books so you can really find out what is happening in school.
My advice is to sit outside the classroom and listen to what is going on, or become the room Mom. Since you have a child in that school they can not prevent you from being there.

I can guarantee I would be complaining that he is emailing her personally. I'd say it just like that too. So it sounded risque. Not that it is nor would you ever lie but just saying it that way implies you don't think it's proper for him to be emailing her.

In the same sentence request she be moved to another class where she would have no contact with this male teacher. Be sure and say Male, that again implies that he is being inappropriate in a girl boy kind of way but not saying he's being naughty.

Then once she is moved to another class see is her work improves. You don't really know what is going on between them when he has her in his classroom.

time to bring the principal into it. for real. i'd be done with that teacher, too, if i were you.

that said, you do want to keep cool heads and make the principal your friend. he will naturally want to side with his teacher. don't give him additional reasons to take his side.

i'd be livid. but you have proof that he emailed her and the things he said about her. save EVERYTHING. including the email from her account.

sorry you guys are dealing with this :( ugh.

Inappropriate. I would have to talk to him one on one.