School Problems

Hi Im J., and Im sorry you are having to go through this. I went through something similar a few years back with my daughter. This was was a close friend of mine and our daughters were best friends, she pretty much tried to destroy my marriage and any friend my daughter had she tried to ruin that too. Only thing that i can suggest, someone like this.. will move on to the next victim. Just let your daughter know she has done nothing wrong and kids are kids.. they will come around.. all the other kids will soon forget about it. I know its hard for them and u want to protect them but it is pretty much impossible to protect them from the people that have to have drama in thier life to be happy.

I'm sorry to hear that this is going on. I lived in a small community and I know that there is always a person(s) that can manipulate and slander people just by opening their mouths. I have one question, have you attempted to talk to this woman? Obviously, she is upset with you and you have no clue why? If possible attempt to talk to her and let her know that she is letting things pass down to the kids and that is not right. If she doesn't reply than you can call a conference with the lady and your children at school. Get a mediation started. This will hopefully help clear up any misunderstandings and avoid hard feelings. This will also show your children that you don't have to retaliate just to get your point across. I know that it is not easy but someone has to be the bigger person, why not you.

If in fact she did not keep her word toward a commitment to you she obviously felt that she could not come to you and be open and honest as to why she couldn't keep her commitment. Since I was not there, is it possible you made comments, expressed your disappointment/anger/or frustration about your friend in front of your daughter? If so, maybe your daughter went to school and innocently made a comment or repeated something you said if their conversation got heated. Sometimes adults forget children are listening and will repeat what we say about another person. You need to back up, be the bigger person, call the other woman and tell her you do not want this riff between the two of you. Tell her gently that you were confused and hurt when she didn't keep her commitment and you wished she would have just come to you and told you why. Tell her the children are the most important and they are the ones being hurt. You need to make it right even if you feel you didn't do anything wrong. Some people who commit to things and then back out do not like confrontation and just fall out of sight in hopes it will just pass when in turn the other person that was stiffed feels angry and frustrated. In the end it could have just been one big fat misunderstanding. Figure out what is more important. It's not worth all this for your children to pay for a deal two adults made with one another.

Girl, From one single mom to another...I dont know what happend between the two of yall, but for an adult with children to act so childish and immature in front of other children or to know how embarrasing it is to act like that in front of your childrens friends...she must feel betrayed by you in some way. My first reaction to your request of how to handle the situation was to go beat that woman's A**, but being that I know for a fact of how I've done some of my friends and if I had of calmly reacted and found out why we were all mad at each other instead of acting a fool (which I've done before). It was alot easier to talk to the friend and find out why there is a problem. It could be a simple thing just taken out of hand. Try to talk to her. Even if you have to send/mail her a letter. Trust me, I've lost friends that I really wish I still had. Dont burn bridges that you might later need to cross. I think that your friend must feel hurt by something or she wouldnt of acted so childishly. Remember that burning that bridge means its gone. It will take that much more in the future to rebuild it (the friendship) if later down the road you find out it was something dumb or simple that started the fight. Trust me. Find out why she has done these things, and tell her how shes hurt you and your children. Play on her sympathy first and tell her how you feel and that you dont know why. Try to stay nice in the note or phone call. Kill her with kindness as my best friend says. From experience, it will piss her off more if the friendship does end here, if you continue to be extreamly nice to her. I dont know how old your daughter is, but explain to her that its very important not to treat others the way they treat us. OR if the woman continues to act like she has, girl, you got every right to stomp her in the ground. I hope it works out, I cant tell you how many friends I've lost by not knowing the whole story behind our issues with each other and lost friends that I REALLY wish I still had.

Love ya girl, and take care.
J.

P.S. Let me know how it goes ok.

Wow! What does she have to be upset about. Have you tried going to her house to talk to her (assuming she won't take your calls?). I would ask the principal to call a meeting with all of you to discuss the issue as it is affecting the kids so much. If that doesn't resolve, seek a restraining order.

V.,

I work in the public safety field. I am not sure where you live if you could give me more information on this issue I may be of further assistance to you. Feel free to contact me at ____@____.com
From just what you have written I may beable to be of assistant to you.

Until then take care.
K.

If I was you I would visit your daughters class and do exactly to her daughter what she is doing to yours.
This may sound bad, but if your daughter is constantly harassed by this other girl and her mother, then she will start to hate school.
Maybe plan a sleepover and invite all your daughters friends, except that one girl.

V., FOR STARTERS NO THERE IS NO WAY TO KEEP THIS WOMAN FROM COMING TO SCHOOL WHERE HER KIDS ATTEND. BUT I WILL TELL YOU THIS, YOU NEED TO CONTACT THE SUP, OF THE SCHOOL. HE CAN HAVE IT SET UP TO WHERE YOU AND THE OTHER WOMAN WITH YOUR KIDS AND HERS BE IN A CONFRANCE AT SCHOOL AND MAYBE YOU CAN FIND OUT WHAT HAS HAPPEN. HOPE YOU WORK THIS OUT. BUT PLEASE TELL YOUR DAUGHTER TO KEEP GOING TO SCHOOL AND HOLD HER HEAD UP HIGH AND IF HER SO CALLED FRIENDS DONT WANT TO TALK TO HER ANY MORE THAN DONT LET THAT BROTHER HER, JUST TO FIND MORE. AND ALSO TELL YOUR SON WHEN SHE IS LOOKING AT HIM JUST TO WAVE AND SMILE. CAUSE A SMILE WILL GO ALONG WAY WHEN SOMEONE IS OUT TO HURT YOU.

You cannot keep her off school grounds because she has a reason to be there, seeing as her child goes to school there too. However, the slander and looks and comments need to be halted. I would talk with the principal from this standpoint and let them know that she is harming your children with her talk and looks and that you would like for her to be kept away from your child. And if she is found to be making comments to your children then the school can decide to take action against that. The only other thing to do would either move your daughter to another classroom, or move her to a different school and that may need to be done if this cannot be gotten under control. The other thing you may want to do, is ask this mom out to lunch or for coffee and ask her what has happened and what the matter is, it could be some misunderstanding and could be righted and this way you would know where the attitude and actions are stemming from. Good luck.

the school can't do much when the problem started off school grounds, sounds like u need to comfront the lady and tell her if she has a prb with u fine, but leave the kids out..meet her and her daughter ,, you and your daughter, no fighting just strong talking..i am the type that won't let people do me or my child bad, i would fix it, and if it didn't work, i would go after her for harassing my childs, law will help u