School Dress Code - Oviedo,FL

My youngest daughter just started middle school where their dress code is way more strict than her elementary school's dress code. It's ridiculous! They can't wear sleeveless anything. I get no spaghetti straps but we just went shopping over the weekend and couldn't find many dresses with sleeves. They can't wear yoga pants or leggings. Can't even wear leggings under shorts. Nothing see through even if they have another shirt underneath. I understand that the majority of the dress code is appropriate but some of it is way overboard! So I would welcome a dress code.

My biggest beef is that the dress code targets girls and puts the blame on them. How about they teach boys a little IMPULSE CONTROL in addition to enforcing a ridiculous dress code!

I live near one of the schools. The rumor is that the "poor girl" knew exactly what she was doing and wanted to "get famous". Being new to a school is not really any excuse- every student is provided with a student handbook and it is up to them to read it. Unless she received that handbook that day when she came to school, there is no excuse. I wore uniforms all throughout school. I think they are a good thing, if only for modesty's sake. Some of the things I see girls (even in elementary school) wearing are ridiculous!

Here is what I know. I know schools with administrators that treat the students with dignity. If the student screws up, that respect is still kept in place with that student and their parents. It is very professional. They do this because The school is setting the example at all times.

Yes, the schools you are speaking of, felt free to humiliate the girls. That one poor girl was new to the school. They said her skirt was too short. But it was 3 inches above her knees. Go and measure 3 inches above your knees and tell me that is too short.

She looked like she had stabbed someone they way they made her wear that long shirt with that big graphic on it at school. They could have called her mom to bring her a change of clothing, but no, instead they had her attend all of her classes like that.

That other school with the Superintendent that called the girls Skanks in front to the student body? Over the top. No way to speak in school, but she called those girls up in front of everyone and humiliated them. I do not understand why adults in charge feel like it is ok to treat students like this in front of the whole school. Heck, I do not think anyone should speak to anyone that is not in power like this.

You want to see drop outs? Humiliate students in public, you will get your wish.

I really don't care either way. Dress codes aren't hard to follow; it's not rocket science to tell your kid to put on a tee shirt over the spaghetti-strap tank top or take off the shirt with the silhouette of a naked lady on it (saw those in high school back in the day).

It takes me about two seconds of thought to look at my kid and decide if he's dressed appropriately. Maybe parents need to be a bit more aware? Does your second-grader NEED to wear a tube top to school? Can we teach them a little critical thinking? "Can I play in this, bend over politely in this?"

Dunno-- if they chose to do uniforms, I wouldn't care. And I don't think humiliation for violating the dress code is necessary, either. It seems like we need to work more toward treating our kids like capable, intelligent people who can be responsible for some of the smaller aspects of their personal life instead of having this be a big freaking deal. Maybe parents need to teach their kids that school is for them to LEARN, not a fashion show. Dress code infractions could be dealt with by having those kids do an hour of in-school service (cleaning tables, helping in the cafeteria, etc) for high schoolers; maybe younger kids just need a behavior plan (where the child writes down the problem and what they can do in the future to avoid that problem) so they understand the rules.

I have to say, though, that until I see the *parents* enforcing and adhering to the school rules-- and I see them, the adults, disrespecting the school rules on a daily basis-- not much will change. Nearly every workplace I've been in has had some sort of dress code. This is reality.

On the one hand, it's not my daughters' responsibility to ensure boys can "function", regardless of how "skanky" they might dress. That's on the boys and how their parents raised THEM. Saying that the way girls dress is distracting to boys and that "boys will be boys" is exactly what feeds into the "if her skirt hadn't been so short, she wouldn't have been raped" mentality. I call BS. Boys are not idiots who can't pass a test because a pretty girl wore a short skirt. And administrators need to concentrate on educating our kids and not on being the "modesty police", that's MY job...if *I* deem it ok to leave the house wearing it, then it's ok for my kids.

I think watching a classmate get humiliated all day is WAY more distracting than the 2 seconds it would take to think "Hmm, that's a short skirt". If your son can't take his eyes off my daughter's two inches of exposed midriff, HE'S the one with the problem, NOT my daughter. HE needs to learn that she's a person and NOT an object. She could be walking around with a bra-top and miniskirt and 6 inch heels and make-up that could match a clown...she could be shaking her bootie as she walks by! She's STILL a person and deserves respect. THAT'S what the schools should be teaching, NOT "she's a skank and deserves to be ridiculed and humiliated and punished"...which can easily translate into "she was asking for it". It's a dangerous message the boys are getting. The entire attitude needs to change.

I DO believe, however, that *if* a school has a dress-code and it's clearly stated and the parent and child have read it and signed off on it, they should follow it, regardless of how ridiculous it might be. And if people truly have a problem with a dress-code, they should try to get it changed, not blatantly disregard it. I just think dress-codes in general are stupid. Instead of arbitrary dress codes that administrators can use to humiliate students, we should just go all the way and use uniforms.

Yeah, on the other hand, UNIFORMS! I would LOVE my kids to be in uniforms. Would make life easier for everyone. My daughter attended a parochial school for K and 1st and had to wear a uniform. It was awesome. And if schools had uniforms, I DO feel that these dress code issues would be kept to a minimum. Entire nations have their school kids in uniforms. I'd LOVE it if we did, too. But until that happens, I'd love to see attitudes about "blaming" the girls change.

The problem with younger kids is that parents don't follow the dress code - they don't stay up to date on the code, or they let the kids run the show at home and bully the parents into acquiescing. Older kids definitely wear something else underneath or take a change of clothes with them. That's harder to police at the moment, but all kids are relatively easy to discipline if the parent is willing to be the bad guy and take away privileges.

Uniforms take away the competition and can be a bit of a savings for parents on limited incomes because there is less pressure from the kids to go shopping and buy stuff that's trendy. However, parents do have to buy 5 uniforms per child, or they have to do laundry a lot - that's a problem for parents working 2 jobs and with limited time and several kids. On the other hand, they can increase the competition outside of school. Ideally, we wouldn't judge each other or allow our kids to judge each other based on appearance so none of this would be necessary.

Kids fight limits and they test boundaries. If it's not with clothes, then it's with something else. When I was teaching, we kept a supply of clothes (donated by parents usually) for emergencies. Younger children always had a full change of their own clothes that allowed for bathroom or lunchroom accidents (or stomach flu to clean them up until they could be picked up to go home). But after about 2nd grade, kids don't want to do that and it's not usually necessary. But we still had a community closet that included clothes for a child who ripped a shirt or fell in the mud at recess, and it covered kids who wore inappropriate clothes (adult sayings on tee shirts, girls with spaghetti straps or tube tops, too-short or too-tight things, etc.). The second those inappropriate clothes are confiscated, the kid stops getting a rise out of the crowd. The offending item was sent home in the backpack with a note (if too revealing), or held for the parent to pick it up (if an inappropriate or drug-related saying, for example). When the child missed a favorite activity (which we made sure of), they didn't usually wear that item again. If they did, the consequences were more significant.

I think uniforms are a shame if they replace responsible community building and effective parenting. That means a strong bond between teachers/staff and students, and school-wide values. I agree with Mel R. that uniforms should not require skirts on girls - that inhibits their ability to play at recess and it's sexist. I agree that girls should have a choice. I don't think boys should have to wear a tie. Around here, most schools that have uniforms have khaki pants and a shirt with a collar (polo shirt, for example) in a plain color, usually white or beige. Overall, I think the problem with uniforms is that they are a big outlay at first for enough changes that there isn't a laundry night every night of the week. And if you're washing every night, the clothes wear out sooner, so you're replacing them anyway. Kids who outgrow clothes are a problem too, although with uniforms some schools will operate a swap night or exchange.

And if we can't teach kids to stop teasing about clothes, then they will move on to some other category - so we really need to have a climate of compassion and acceptance. It starts at home (one would hope) but it can be encouraged and nourished as part of the school values.

Some kids like to try and push a point over and over and over.
School is a place of learning.
A dress code helps it maintain an atmosphere conducive for learning and anything that gets in the way of that isn't allowed.
What is so difficult about keeping things covered from shoulders to knees for 7 or so hours a day (boys and girls)?
Our schools say 'no cleavage in front or behind'.
A tee shirt or polo shirt and pants that come to about waist, cover your behind, and come down to mid thigh without being so tight so as to show every bump and curve isn't that hard to do.
I don't really care if they bond or not.
A dress code at school is not about bonding.
If kids are getting incorrect ideas about what is appropriate to wear - then they are watching too much advertizing.

I'm actually fine with uniforms. In a public school, though, I think families that receive free/reduced lunch should also get financial assistance in purchasing the uniforms.

However, I do NOT like dress codes. They seem designed to shame and humiliate kids not just based on gender but on race and class lines as well. They "slut-shame" girls for wearing short skirts, but they don't "sleaze-shame" boys for having no self-control at the sight of a short skirt. They also "race-shame" in that they criminalize styles associated with young African American men (those loose, saggy pants), and they "class-shame" girls, in that revealing clothing is a trend among young women from working-class backgrounds. So the message is: If you come from a preppy, lacrosse-playing background, you can do no wrong. If you come from the "wrong" race or social class, you're automatically suspect.

This is not the way to foster equal opportunity or respect for others.

I think you COULD make a case for a dress-code that's written in very neutral language, "No vulgar or offensive language, no skin showing between the shoulder and the knee." I definitely think kids should get warnings before they get punishments, and I definitely think that sanctions/consequences should be free from shaming. Shaming just disconnects kids from school. It produces dropouts, not modest dressers. But really, with all the social issues associated with closing choices, I think schools are safer either going with a complete uniform or no dress code at all.

It's never right for an adult to humiliate a child, especially when that adult is an authority figure. Then when that kid does the same to another child, he/she will be labeled a bully.

I think uniforms are a great thing. Everyone is dressed the same - from the richest to the poorest. It helps bridge the socio-economic divide. Also, uniforms are much more budget-friendly!

Frankly, I find dress codes irritating, especially since they are FAR more detailed for girls than boys. As if girls are somehow sinister and are trying to lure boys' attention away from their schoolwork... in third grade... for wearing... a tank top. I mean, really? If you're going to get that het up about what kids are wearing, have them wear uniforms so they're all wearing the same thing, both the girls and the boys. Everyone wears a polo shirt and pants. There, done.

My older daughter is ALL legs (she is a ballerina, built along very classical lines), and she would wear the exact same shorts as her friends (literally, the exact same shorts), and would be called out for wearing them because her fingertips were touching her legs, not the shorts, when she had her arms down to her sides. Well, guess what? When you're long-limbed, that will happen. The shorts were NOT "short shorts" by any stretch of the imagination, and her shorter-limbed friends were never given any grief for wearing the exact same shorts. And, of course, the boys were never given any grief for their falling-down pants and saggy shorts. My daughter was completely covered, and yet was made to feel ashamed because (gasp) her KNEES were showing! Ugh. Ridiculous.

So, yeah. If I had a choice, I'd much rather have a uniform than a dress code.

Uniforms definitely. I see how these kids go to school. Disgraceful. Why do parents let them out like that. Short shorts, skimpy tops. Don't know how boys function. Although the way they dress is no bargain either. Uniforms!!!!

I recently saw a school that kept a change of clothes for students who violate the dress code to wear. The clothes were sweatpants and a sweatshirt labelled with "Dress Code Violation". I thought it was a brilliant idea. Students were given the choice to go home and change or wear the clothes provided.

I do like the idea of school uniforms though.

I hated it when our public school systems went to uniforms, and my daughter hated wearing them. She was in fourth grade when they made the shift.
I think that as long as a kid's naughty bits are covered, they should be able to wear what they damn well please.

Most schools where I live have uniforms and I really love it; it makes dressing for school very easy. It is not an overly strict dress code. The girls can wear shorts, pants, or skirts as long as they are navy blue or khaki uniform bottoms. Both girls and boys wear polo shirts (several colors) or if they have tshirts with the school logo on it, they can wear those. I think cargo shorts are the only type of bottom not approved, but other styles are fine. As for shoes, they just have to be closed toe. I love that we have a set of clothes designated for school so I easily know everything else in their dresser counts as play clothes. There is no thinking about what to wear because every combination matches. The kids grab a top and bottom to lay out the night before and it takes about 2 seconds. I do in fact donate the previous year's uniforms so I assume the school helps families out that need it. My kids are in elementary and I honestly can't see why any parent wouldn't want uniforms at school. Anyone who is very opposed can fill out a waiver and their kids can wear regular clothes. On the topic of humiliating kids violating the dress code, I think humiliating kids for any reason is unacceptable and shameful.

a lot of the grade schools on one side of town have "dress codes" but they are very loose. they are not the you have to wear collered shirts / khaki pants etc. but they are white tops and jeans or black pants. no gang colors as there are some gang problems in this area. shirts can't have anything on them.

Schools where the administrators and teachers have good relationships with the kids are places where the kids are going to be less likely to push the envelope by wearing idiotic stuff on purpose. Of course there's no accounting for parents who are so checked out that they don't stop their own children from wearing inappropriate clothes; but in that case, in a good school with good relationships, the kids are going to be handled with at least a chance to gain and keep some dignity -- not called skanks and not forced into "shame clothing."

School uniforms are a great idea IF every school can afford to provide them for the kids who can't afford them. Not every kid at our school could afford a fulll uniform to start with, and the initial cost can be high (though, yes, the cost over time is less than buying lots of different clothes for school). My one real objection is the apparent belief that girls should wear skirts for their school uniforms -- at some schools it's 100 percent of the time, even in winter. I think girls' uniforms should include trousers at any time (not just winter). Some girls don't like skirts, ever, and there's no real acadmic or social reason to force them to wear them at any point if they have good-looking trousers as an option.

We go to Britain every year and uniforms are the norm over there for ALL schools, not just religious or private ones. But I don't believe uniforms can in themselves create bonding or acceptance; kids are kids and will find other kids to pick on for their weight, acne, accent, braininess, lack of braininess, whatever, uniforms or not, sadly. Still, uniforms eliminate the problem of some kids wearing very expensive clothes to show off and others feeling ashamed that they're in what their folks can afford.

The incidents you refer to are examples of adults acting poorly, excercising the power to humilate, and minimizing their power to teach. No excuses for the adults. Every day, in every school, with and without uniforms, children (sometimes with their parents' knowledge) push the dress code limits, and professionals do various things, including providing neutral t-shirts when necessary, and allow the children to get back to learning. I'm so glad the folks I worked with for years knew how to help students through these years of "drama" and help them focus on their studies.

I think uniforms are just sad little things that are so ugly.

I think it's hard to look at it objectivly. So many schools say This is allowed in this color and that color and the color over there. Then say you move across town. That school can have their own colors they allow.

If the parents have a system such as a clothing room where they can donate last years uniforms so that those who can't really afford to go out and buy 10 collared pullover 3 button shirts and then 5 pair of khaki pants and 5 pair of black pants but NO! Wait, the school decided no black pants only navy pants or khaki!

I think kids need to wear normal clothes to school and the school have a dress code where the kids look presentable and don't look like Hoochie mama's and the boys aren't showing off their "Y" generation on their hiney.

Just out of curiosity, what do you mean by "embarrassing by humiliation?"

Our school's dress code is that children should wear clothing that is clean (I assume starting the day), comfortable and allows the child to learn and play. Appropriate footwear is required for gym and on the playground and children are encouraged to change their shoes if necessary for gym and recess. That's the whole thing. I am fine with it.

My daughter goest too a private school that requires uniforms and I hate it. She is getting to miss out on a lot of the fun self expression that little kids need.

I think if we really want to prepare our kids for the future it should be a professional attire only dress code from 7th or 8th on up. That is how you actually prepare kids. When I was in High School it was about 10 years ago and the dress code did not teach me a damn thing about dressing for a job.

No jeans (unless friday), no sweat pants, no tshirts and professional shows. That is how things should be.

My problem with dress codes is they are not fair across the board and they are not implemented for everyone. My daughter has long arms and long legs, which leaves her with the option of ONLY wearing Bermuda shorts in the spring/fall at school, and she hates them. I go and get her approval to wear regular shorts every year. They are FAR from innapropriate, but they don't follow dress code either.

Middle school - whew! My neighbor's daughter has gotten off the bus every day and my jaw hits the floor. She is two months older than my daughter, but she literally dresses like she could be walking the street, and no one says anything to her or she wouldn't dress that way.

I have gone to schools where they had uniforms, there are issues there too. Skirts too short, no collars on the shirts, the wrong color blue, etc...I don't think there is a fix really for this unless parents really communicate with the schools and make good choices for their kids.

RK, also no excuses for the parents who buy the slutty clothing and help their children disobey the dress codes.

Mira, those families are already getting help on free lunch--they can pay the uniform fee from the money-saved there...

Give help to us middle income families who barely can afford lunch amd the uniforms.