School Changes

All I know is I watched my 5 year old daughter go thru that for almost 2 months, but we'd changed her Kindergarten after 2 mos, so it really threw her for a loop. Nevertheless, she also went from a perfect little angel, to a child who was a bit angry and defensive and argumentative and even a bit sad. It was scary and at the time it seemed endless. Rest assured she changed right back to herself but took about 2 mos! Please don't lose your patience with her - lots and lots of love, hugs, closeness and understanding - lots of availability to talk with her everyday - that's what she needs. When she feels secure again, for whatever reason, she'll snap out of it, hopefully sooner than 2 mos. It's all about just being there for her and not getting fed up with her. Hang in there.
M.

I would sit down with your child and say Hey I noticed that you seem a litte shy now, is something going on? Also call the teacher and have her be a look out for social things that may be affecting your child
It took my daughter almost 4 months to tell me that she didn't like school because so and so was mean to her. Not bully just girl stuff. I talked with her teacher and lo and behold she had noticed something when the two girls were seated at the same table.
We seperated them and I asked all adults to make sure that they stayed apart. We survived that year, and now they are in seperate classes no more struggles.

Yes, my son is going through a "cry-baby" phase.

I moved him from schools about 2-3 weeks before we moved homes. He loves his school but now is crying for things he never did previously.

We just need to help them deal with the change as it's a big shake up in their little world. If he says he's scared, we ask him to tell us and show us what he is scared of. He is slowly adjusting but it does take time and our patience.

Good luck. patience and hold his hand as the change is occuring. Also, when there is a change coming, be sure to prepare them mentally. As the change of school was coming closer, I was preparing him by telling him everyday, in 5 days you'll be starting your new school. Also, several visits to the new school are very helpful. This gives them a new introduction to the new atmosphere, new surroundings, new teacher, and new playground.... My son is doing good with his new school. The teachers already love him and he has made new friends.

The 1st day, you need to stay with them at the new school a bit longer than the usual drop off (10 mins)... I stayed the 1st hour, and had breakfast with him and he was fine... no crying at all...

The crying and acting out is at home now with the 2 changes happening 2-3 wks apart.

He's warming up to our new place slowly...

My boys changed schools twice. Once because we moved & the next, this year, because the school they were in last year was awful in many respects - bullying (verbal & physical), lack of discipline & overall lack of concern on the teacher & principals part. My oldest son acted out in various ways last year because things were not good. He was down, had frequent stomache aches, agressiveness, etc. He is normally a very mild tempered child who loves school so this behavior was very unusaul for him.

I guess what I'm getting to is to really dig deep to see if your son is happy or not in the new school. If he isn't, find out why & act appropriatly. Kids will often say all is okay, so you'll have to trust your senses & pry a bit.

My boys love their new school this year. No complaints & they seem very happy & at ease.

Our childrens' behaviour always means something, so do your best to find out what is troubling you son.

My first son loved school until he got into the 3rd grade and I noticed he went from being outgoing and excited to withdrawn and sad and eventually just didn't want to go school at all. I found out that he was terrified of his teacher, with her sour face and disposition and all of her stringent rules. (She was old, set in her ways, and should have been forced to retire but was saved by the fact she had tenure.) Anyway, I refused to allow her to continue as my son's teacher and went to the principal with a stern request to have my son's class changed immediately. At first, I was told I should wait to see if he could adjust but I put my foot down and told him I would change schools before I allowed my son back in her class so his class was changed but the damage had been done. My son struggled the entire school year because of that one mean teacher, despite the fact that his new teacher was wonderful and very patient and understanding. Find out how your child feels about being at school; find out everything from how he/she feels about the teacher, classmates, any possible bullying (?), schoolwork, teasing, etc. There's usually something that triggers a change in our kids and if they become afraid to say anything about it and keep it held internally, then their behaviors and attitude change on the outside. I wish you and your child the best of luck because school should be a fun and safe place to go.

Hi T., I would speak to the teachers, they are supossed to be monitoring their play, and it seems to me if they were, they would have put a stop to this already. and as far as 5 year olds being mean, let me tell you when parents decided to quit discipling their kids, i mean real discipline ( not time out) kids and things as i once knew them to be is no more. J. L.

**um,I 'thought' I was responding to a question about children picking on your son, as previously posted??? I guess you 'revised' that and re-wrote another question?
Sorry, my response below may not apply now.

I STRONGLY recommend that you tell the Teacher. It can possibly escalate.

I have a 5 year old... and in both preschool and in kindergarten, and now in her first grade class.... there has always been MEAN kids.... .either in the class or in direct interference with my own child. Once a boy, a known trouble maker, spit in my daughter's face and made fun of her; once a boy hit another boy in the crotch during recess; once a bunch of girls (habitually) teased & excluded and bossed around another girl... in these cases, my girl told me about it after-school. I told the Teacher. The Teacher was very grateful I told her. Even teachers do not have eyes in the back of their heads... and they cannot possibly "know" and "see" EVERYTHING that happens. So to me, this helps them by telling them.

In ALL situations, I told the teacher. In ALL situations, at each grade my daughter was in, the Teacher's have all told me they APPRECIATE getting head's up about it by the Parent.

ALL the teachers my daughter had/has... they have ALL corrected the situation both directly with the child or children involved AND ALSO talking to the WHOLE classroom about it and how being "mean" is NOT TOLERATED at all.

Understand, that children like this, are already "bullies." And your child is getting bullied. If it does not stop... in the succeeding grades... these perpetrators will BULLY other children as well.

In my daughter's school they have a "No Bullying/Harassment" Policy. In my daughter's class... children like this are (1) sent to the Principal's office (2) The Parents are called in and telephoned about it (3) the children are given time-out or some kind of privilege taken away etc. or suspension if it is chronic or endangering to other children etc.

YES is it "cruelty" as you say. Yes, kids need to learn about life and the good and bad. Yes, they can "shake it off" and ignore the Bullies.... BUT OUR CHILDREN ALSO HAVE TO LEARN ABOUT PROBLEM SOLVING & THAT THERE ARE PROPER WAYS TO DEAL WITH THESE PROBLEMS. ie: that the Parent will tell the Teacher... and for our children to "see" how things like this are handled. I strongly believe in this.

My Hubby & I ALSO teach our girl, that whenever anything "mean" or bad happens to her, she must tell the teacher, or the Adult in charge. They must be taught this. Taught problem solving and not just "sucking it up" and putting up with mean behavior.

NO child should have to put up with bullying, or these kind of mean behavior.

Tell the Teacher.... it is not just about teaching your son tolerance and moving onto another "friend." It is also about TEACHING our child, what is mean and what is not, AND that something can be done about it, that NO CHILD should have to be a victim and be 'quiet' about it... all this does is enable the bullies and allows them to keep doing it. Bullies learn very quickly who will turn them in, and who won't.

I also feel, that by telling the Teacher.. .that this also helps the child involved (whether or not it is 'your' child), because not all children will 'tell' their Parent's what happens to them at school, not to mention the 'bad' stuff too. And, not all Parents will act or do something about it to aide their child. So for those children, I feel it helps them too. And, might I add... if you are not comfortable about "telling" the Teacher... you can just mention that you want it "anonymous" and the perpetrator's Parents don't "have to" know.

Yes, kids this age can be mean. Heck, even when my girl was in Preschool....at 4 years old, there were mean kids there already.

Take care,
Susan