School Bus Problems

Updated on March 18, 2008
S.M. asks from Tucson, AZ
31 answers

I am feeling so frustrated. My 4 yo son has just been diagnosed with speech and language delay, and this week began special education classes from 11 am to 1 pm 4 days a week. He goes to a private preschool, and they have to put him on the bus to the special ed class, and get him off of the bus, to save us from having to leave work twice a day. The preschool's door is in a parking lot by about 30 yards, and the bus will not drive into the parking lot (school policy). The preschool staff will not walk him to the corner of the building where the bus will stop at the curb. The director says she cannot commit to getting to and from the bus, that if she is busy with something else she won't do it. And I can't have him coming back on the bus and walking through a busy parking lot if no one will commit to watching him.

If this were any other child, I would just pull him out of that preschool, but he has such a hard time with change. He has been at this preschool since August, and is just making friends. He has become really attached to his teachers, and they to him. He's had a difficult time being back and forth between classes as it is. And we have such a short time to get him help before kinder because special ed classes stop in May, and he'll go to kinder this fall.

Anyone have any suggestions? Am I asking for something unreasonable from the preschool?

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So What Happened?

So, it has been a long few days, and thanks to everyone for their advice. I agree it is craziness, but it seems no one who can do anything about it agrees with us. Everyone up to the school superintendant is aware and very sorry, but the bus pulls as close to the school as they safely can--I do not feel that they are being unreasonable.

The preschool, however, and its director, refuse to budge. I refuse to have him going alone through a busy parking lot. So, even though I am crazy angry with righteous indignance and I pay that stinkin school more than $1300 a month, I just can't bear to change him to a different place. If you guys knew him you would understand. His teachers in his class really care about him. He is just so much more fragile than most kids. Last month he talked about a frien in his class and I cried because it was the first time he ever really made a friend his own age. So, we have to last it out until May and I have rearranged my workday (I work at Cholla Pediatrics and they are fantastic, very family friendly) so I can take him and pick him up every day.

And for the preschool director, her job is obviously just a job, and she is missing the opportunity that the rest of us who work with kids have, to soak up the blessing of enriching a child's life. For her I have one word--karma.

Thanks everyone so much. It is so huge to have a community of supportive moms.

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S.F.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi, S.!
I was wondering if you have asked the bus driver personally about his/her ideas on how to help this situation. Is there an aide on the bus that could at least steer his in the right direction or buddy him with a friend as he leaves the bus?
I really think that you have every reason to ask for the schools help in this. ( you certainly can't be the only parent to ever have this concern) I am concerned there is no parking lot monitor that could help.
I hope they will find a way to help,
S.

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S.F.

answers from Eugene on

No, you are not being unreasable!!! I have my own war battles, and many I lost. Schools seem to hold all the cards these days. My husband finally made the decision for me to quit and stay home, then eventually home school. It's been the best thing we ever did. If you do have to work, see if there is ANY other alternative, like a friend or relative picking him up instead of a bus. He is such a little guy, and he needs someone there for him!

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T.C.

answers from Phoenix on

Is there perhaps another parent you trust that could do this for him? Even someone else at the school. You could even offer to pay someone to do it. That is awful. No 4yo needs to be walking in a busy parking area unsupervised.

T. C.
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M.T.

answers from Tucson on

I have an Autistic grandson. He goes to a private school also. These schools receive Federal funds and are required to provide the necessary services to ensure the safety of the students. It does NOT matter that your child has a disability!! No child of that age should try to manage a parking lot unsupervised!!!!!!!!!! Call your local Social Services and find out who is responsible for Special Ed in your area. Good luck. M. T (mom, g-ma & great grandmother). My daughter knows every agency in So Calif but I don't know where you are.

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J.D.

answers from Phoenix on

S.,

That is a real pickle and your son is not old enough to negotiate the dangers of a parking lot by himself. If I understand correctly, the school bus is providing the transportation. I think the preschool director is a jerk, but I would press the issue with the school district. If they are providing transportation then they need to ensure that the plan is SAFE. Do they really drop off other children his age to walk across a parking lot? Talk to someone on the school board or the superintendent if you have to, but this is just plain ridiculous. I would tell you to just move him, but my daughter has autism (she's almost 3) and I know how hard it is for some kids to cope with big changes. Good luck and don't be unwilling to make someone else uncomfortable and have to deal with this. The school should make safety the number one priority with transportation.

In our district there are aides that ride the bus with the children. It would be simple to just put one on the bus, if there isn't already, and just have that person walk the child to the preschool.

Please let us know what happens!

-Jen

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C.A.

answers from Santa Fe on

If the school refuses to work with you then you need to find a school that will. Part of his insecurity may stem from knowing he is unsafe during the day. He'll get over the change and everyone will feel less stressed when you know he is safe. He will pick that up as well. Think about doing what is best instead of avoiding what you don't want to have to do. And then I'd report the school. That's outrageous.

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R.M.

answers from Phoenix on

Have you called the director of Transportation to ask for suggestions? Most times the director will become involved to help work out this type of transperporation issue by other means. Does your bus have an aid riding the bus to help out? Is there an accountable person on grounds that may assist getting your child on and off the bus? Last but not least, does you child have an I.E.P. (an individualized education plan). If so, bring it up to your Parent Advocate to scedule an urgent meeting with School and staff officials to quickly resolve this issue. Good Luck.

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K.H.

answers from Albuquerque on

You are NOT asking for anything unreasonable. I don't believe that any 4yo should be trusted to walk across a busy parking lot by themselves. I have a 4yo also with speach delays. He has trouble with change also, it broke my heart when he went through that phase of not wanting me to leave him alone with all these strangers. And trust me with his delay it made me worry even more cause i didn't want anyone to hurt his feeling. For my sons bus there is always two grown adults on the bus, the bus monitor and the driver. The monitor is to make sure that the kids get to their class safely. If you do not have a monitor then maybe talking to the bus company might help. Or you can just go above the directors head. Your sons safety is important and should be to the program. Now i know you are worried about change but if nothing you do seems to work then you should put your sons feeling aside and put him in a school that does care about your childrens safety. He will recover from the change and you will finally have piece of mind. I hope this helps.

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P.M.

answers from Phoenix on

Nothing about this sounds right. Is the special ed program at a public school? At my daughter's old school, both public and private busses and vans used to pull up to the front of the school (which was in a strip center) and someone from the school would walk out and escort the child inside.

The principal of that private preschool has a screw loose. If anything, she should be on the phone to the other school, saying, "What's with that weird "can't drive up to the door" policy?" And if the special ed program does, indeed, have the right to refuse to drive up to the door (how this is possible, I can't imagine!) then a NORMAL educator would know how stupid it is to have a preschooler walk through a public parking lot and arrange for an escort.

Write to me privately for a recommendation to a great school with a private preschool and charter K-8 that is very good for kids with special needs.

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B.W.

answers from Phoenix on

My son went to the special ed program through the school for over two years, from the time he was 2 yrs 9 months, from when he entered kindergarten. All of the sitters and daycare I used went out of there way to make sure he made it to the bus on time and safely. If your daycare won't commit to that, they suck and should not be taking responsibility for any kids, especially yours! Change is not always a bad thing, especially when its in the best interest and safety of your child.

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C.K.

answers from Tucson on

I've had my share of bus issues with our school too. Thankfully, through talks we've been able to settle each issue in the end ;)

I'm not sure if the private school sector has completely different policies, but I would ask to see their transportation guidelines (in writing) and your school enrollment contract to see where it states that (you) are responsible for guiding his transportation process during his regular school hours. Secondly, if your son is in their care (per contract) from a start-time to an agreed end-time (which includes the transportation process as part of the school's care) than failing to provide him with supervision when needed, is child abandonment. IF he were to get hurt, lost, or something else happened, they would be responsible so long as he is still within the time-slot of contracted care.

Although the school may be "private" it still has to follow childcare and transportation laws. If they get persnickety with you, you can always request to talk to their board, AZ state that holds their license, or call KGUN9 On Your Side and they'll do a full out investigation/story. I'm sure one of these options will let them know that your serious, educated, and prepared to fight for your son's safety and care - that I'm sure you pay well for. Here are some links that may be helpful:

http://www.azdps.gov/studenttransportation/about/about.asp

http://www.arizonapsa.org/

http://www.tusd.k12.az.us/CONTENTS/depart/transportation/...

Best of luck!
C.

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P.S.

answers from Albuquerque on

I am a school bus driver for our public school. And I don't know if there is a difference between public and private schools, but our special education bus drivers require that a teacher come meet the bus and escort the children safely inside the building. Does the school know that you would hold them liable for anything that might happen to your child on thier property? I can understand that the director might not always be able to get out of the office to meet the bus, but what about a teacher or an aide? I mean really, how long would it take to walk the extra 30 yards or so to keep your child safe through thier parking lot? And isn't it the school's responsibility to keep our children safe while they are on the bus and also at school? I do not think you are being unreasonable. I would be appalled if my 4 year old had to walk across any parking lot without an adult present.

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C.K.

answers from Phoenix on

Since your son is in special education, please have this issue incorporated in to his IEP. If there is an aide on the school bus, that aide should see your child safely to/from the door of the preschool.

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D.N.

answers from Tucson on

hi S.,
It is great that you found out about your sons need for help early. The earlier the better. Just a suggestion, but if your son is a young five that will be starting kinder you should consider keeping him out another year so he has more time to work catch up. In regards to the preschool director I think you should consider pulling your child out. I was director of a kinder care and a Childtime for about ten years and I always went out of my way to help all of my kids and their parents if they needed it. We had a bus come and pick up two kids for special needs classes and we willingly walked them to the road, because it is a fact that the buses cannot pull into the parking lot. It sounds like this center director does not want to bothered with having to remember to walk across the street for your son and does not have his best interests as a priority. This should be a red flag and you should speak to the director and tell her your feelings. I do not know what part of town you live in, but I live on the northwest and my five year old daughter missed the cut off for kinder last year by twelve days and I wanted her to have a head start so I enrolled her in her preschool kindergarten (st marks)which is taught by a certified teacher and she also received a scholarship to help with the tuition. She goes from 9 to 2 m-f and they also have before and after childcare. It is an option if you are worried about how your son will do in a larage kindergarten class. St Marks has a cap of twelve kids and it is great, as are all the teachers there. I hope this helps you and please feel free to email me back if you have absolutely any questions about St Marks. good luck

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L.D.

answers from Phoenix on

Because it is a private school, they may not be obligated to assist your child for public special ed classes. Can someone from the special ed classes ride on the bus and physically go and get your child from the pre school? Otherwise, maybe you'll have to schedule it in to your work day.

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C.M.

answers from Phoenix on

This sounds more like a safety issue. With the amount of kidnappings and other issues you hear about today, the school should be taking the extra step to assure the safety of your son. If something were to happen to your son, the school should be held liable. Why is it against school policy for the bus to drive into the parking lot? I would bring that up with the director of the preschool. They should be able to.

Asking a 4yo is to walk to the bus alone is absurd. I would never dream of allowing my son or anyone else's child to walk through a parking lot alone, unsupervised. I know it may be difficult for your son but if you cannot get the school to take the extra care for your son's safety, I would look into another preschool. If you cannot remedy the situation, your other alternative would be to take him to and from preschool yourself. The safety of your child is the most important aspect in this situation. Obviously this preschool is not taking the care and precautions for the health and welfare of its children.

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A.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

It is really a problem that they think it's okay to let a 4 year old go across a parking lot unattended. If they won't meet him at the bus, then it is really a safety issue to keep him in. Whatever you decide to do though, it is a good thing that this has been dianosed now because he should be able to continue with services quickly once entering kindergarten. Make sure they have an IEP (Individual Education Plan) on him to continue with him when starting school. As a teacher, I know that it can take over a year to get services if it hasn't started before beginning school.

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C.M.

answers from Phoenix on

You could use some help from experienced moms and dads. Check to see if there is a local parents support group for special needs kids--perhaps "Pilot Parents." Your state agency, Department of Economic Security, Division of Developmental Disabilities, should be helpful. Also, contact the Four County Conference on Developmental Disabilities; you should find their # in your local phone book. You may need to know your legal rights. There is help available, and one of these may contact you through this site, too.

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G.H.

answers from Phoenix on

If your child has any problems, I don't care what it is, and has to go to special school, for whatever problem, then the school should go out of their way to help. I would fight for the rights of your childs safety. The school is putting your child in danger by not walking your child to the bus. There has to be a some kind of law. Do not let this school push you around. One of two things need to happen here: the school bus drives up to the door, school policy or not, or an adult walks your son to the bus. End of story. Make a stand for your son! I'll go yell at the school for you, this makes me so mad.

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S.D.

answers from Tucson on

Check with the state board of ed, or the transportation dept. and pull the "legal" card.

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I.W.

answers from Phoenix on

** i didn't read the part about private schooling. my school district is gibert and they took my son right in front of my home, not a place of business. i was waiting for him every day and they made sure he got into the house and saw me before leaving. certainly this changes everything. if you're paying for them to drive your child they need to be responsible and cater to your situation, as you are a paying customer. i apologize for the misunderstanding. they need to hire someone to do this, and obviously that would take money from their bottom line.

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M.T.

answers from Albuquerque on

No S., I my opinion you're request isn't unreasonable. First of all, what ever happened to good "customer service"? I used to work for Ignacio School district and the aids would do all sorts of "special" things like this for the kids. Does his teacher have an aid in her classroom? What about the secretary (if there is one). I would think if they had the childrens' best interest at heart, they would have no problem w/ this. My daughter works at the Ignacio Head Start and the staff there also goes out of their way for special requests such as this. Is there any one of the staff members there you feel you could sit down and discuss your concern further and come up w/ some sort of compromise? I'd give it another try if I were you. I'd also feel very uncomfortable to have a young child like that walking across a parking lot alone. Hope this helps you to feel empowered in your feelings.

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Z.P.

answers from Phoenix on

THAT IS NOT OK!! You poor thing. I totally understand how you are feeling! That is scary.

True story... one summer I was supposed to start babysitting a little boy named Jacob. I had never met him before, just his parents and they were really flaky. He was to be going to summer school and a bus would pick him up and drop him off at my house. He never actually started though. The day he was going to start he just didn't show up. Then a week later there was a school bus parked out in front of my house. I walked out to explain to the driver that the boy never started with me. The bus driver just said "then today is his first day." He handed me a backpack and this sweet little boy named Jacob got off the bus. I was so confused as I watched the bus pull away. I went in and looked up the cell phone number to the mother but was never able to reach her. I didn't know what to do. About two hours after he was dropped off the head of transportation and some big wig from the school board showed up at my door scared to death asking "did a little boy named Jacob get dropped off here?" IT TURNED OUT TO NOT EVEN BE THE SAME JACOB!!! This little boy had zero connection to me. He was a little autistic boy who's parents were going out of their mind!! Pretty soon half the police station showed up and some rather upset parents. The mother cried and cried and hugged me and thanked me. The father was angry and wouldn't even look at me. He was too busy yelling at the transportation and school people. Can't blame him one bit!!

Thankfully this story had a really good ending. I am a good person who has a very kid friendly home. (I did childcare at the time.) But what if I wasn't? They don't have any idea how this boy ended up being dropped off at my house. The driver to the bus he was supposed to ride had told his mother "he wasn't at school today." Can you imagine???

Anyway, I don't mean to scare you with this story, but accidents like that obviously happen. Your little guy needs to be kept safe. If that daycare is unwilling to look out for him I would really start making a fuss. If they are still not willing to accomadate you to keep him safe I would find a place that will. His safety and well being have got to come first. Its outrageous to me that they expect this little four year old to do that alone! Can you talk to some one higher than the diretor? Do they at least stand at the door and watch him walk to and from the bus? This is crazy!

I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this. I hope it all works out for you and you can get some piece of mind.

If you do switch childcare places think of doing some in-home childcare. Call Childcare Resource and Referall. They can hook you up with people who do childcare out of their home. Then the bus can stop right in front of their house. AND a smaller setting may be helpful for him.

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H.A.

answers from Phoenix on

I am sorry but this preschool sounds totally heartless! I am a preschool teacher and if this were my student I would line up my kids in my class and say "It's time to go pick up Jonny!" we would make it part of our routine because we love Jonny and we want to make him feel special and cared about. I think you should try and remind the director of his/her purpose...maybe that will melt his/her heart a little. Don't they have any aides that can meet him at the bus? Won't he/she feel just a little bad if something happens to him? Can you pay a little extra for them to help you out? Yikes! I'm sorry you have to stay there....but good luck!

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R.B.

answers from Albuquerque on

Hi S.,
I wonder if you would consider a high school student for this time frame. You could contact the school(s) closest to the pick up/ drop off location..perhaps a counselor. HS'ers have shorter hours than other grades and if you make it an attractive enough amount (certainly less than 2 trips from work!!) I think (hope) you'll find a solution. I look foward to reading about a positive outcome. I'm a grandma of 5, mom of 3. I don't have all the answers, but am helping to raise 1 and I would try this.good luck, Ro

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J.J.

answers from Phoenix on

can you have one of the other moms agree to a car pool or at least to walk him to the curb if they are coming to pick up their kdis too

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J.S.

answers from Albuquerque on

My first thought is "Are you kidding me?" Why a preschool won't "commit" to watching a child because she is "busy" with something else is absolutely unthinkable to me. Your son is not a nuisance, he shouldn't be treated as such. I would think that any preschool would make arrangements for the well being of the children in their care, and I don't think you are being unreasonable.
Unfortunately, I don't have any suggestions other than asking if, since it is only until May, the preschool could arrange to have someone watch him to/from the bus. Or, is there another time he could go to the special classes? I wish you lots of luck - just remember that your ARE NOT being unreasonable to expect someone to watch out for the safety of your child while they are in their care.

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D.D.

answers from Phoenix on

Ok, you got my blood heated up! i have a son with special needs and i was a teacher for 10 years and when i read your post it really angered me. you are so NOT BEING UNREASONABLE. your son is at risk and they need to accommidate! if his teacher is doing "something" and can't meet your son then they need to find someone who can. Your child is in danger, that is so so so obvious! I would immediately set up a meeting with the principal. I am very interested in what preschool this is. it is pretty unusual for a private preschool to a) accept a child with language and speech delays and b) give services. Maybe i am misunderstanding the situtation. Please email me privately adn i can help you further. i have helped parents advocate for their children here in Az and Denver. my email is ____@____.com
talk soon and don't settle for "we can't guarenttee your son's safetey." that is just wrong!

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C.C.

answers from Flagstaff on

It sounds like the director of this school needs to wake up and face reality! The customers should come first. On the other hand, she may not want the additional liability this would bring.

I know this is not a part of your question, but maybe you should consider waiting another year for kindergarten, especially since your son is not 5 yet. Studies show that many boys are "late bloomers" and need more time to develop before they are ready for school. This would give him time to improve his speech and be more prepared for school. The way they speak affects how easily they learn to read. As an added bonus, he could be one of the bigger kids, which will be important for him to be able to join sports teams when he is in junior high & high school. ;)

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J.L.

answers from Tucson on

Which school's policy is it not to drive up to the door? The special ed school or the pre school? If it is the special ed school, explain the situation. Maybe they could make an exception. If it is the pre-school, I question the safety morals, and standards of that school. Don't jeapardize your childs safety. If they don't care enough to walk 30 yards when the bus comes to assure your childs safety, or stand at the door to watch him, then me personally would be looking for a different pre-school.

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J.K.

answers from Santa Fe on

As a special education teacher - I do not understand the statement that the staff can't get your son to and from the bus. I have children in my program that are also bussed from a private daycare to come to the special education class. The private preschool waits with the children for the bus and meets the bus when it brings them back.

Are you paying for the preschool service? Then they need to accomadate you. The safety of your child should be first on their minds. They are placing your child in harm, which is against state regulations.

J.

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