School - Rochester,MN

what do you mean he's in with the 'dumb kids'? the teacher has put him in a group of kids who are at about the same level, and has determined this grouping by testing (an imperfect medium but the only one really available to public schools.) why would you want him with a group working at a level significantly higher than where he is?
it's also very common to blame the very normal highs and lows that kids experience in schools on 'bad teachers.' a teacher isn't good because she hands out compliments. compliments should be earned, and many professional educators rightly consider that they should be sparse and therefore pack a punch when they are given.
do you REALLY think that the teacher and principal are ganging up on your 7 year old?
i suspect your attitude of entitlement is hampering this child more than anything the teacher is doing. encourage him (without showering him with empty compliments!), help him practice, work with him on developing self-esteem that's not reliant on hot-air words from other people. and please, work on losing your own issues with persecution. the school professionals WANT your child to succeed. you're really not on opposite sides.
khairete
S.

Always speak with the teacher first. Just ask her for an update.. Listen to her answers and then let her know what you are noticing at home. Then the 2 of you come up with a plan on how to help your son speak up more in class. How to help him perform better on the tests while at school.. etc..

You two should be a team.

Some children do great at home, but freeze at school on tests or class participation.

There are no "Dumb Kids".. They are placed in groups of kids that are working at a certain pace or on a certain level.. This is not a competition..It is not a reflection on you as a parent, it is what your child needs.

It is also not stagnate. If a child all of sudden makes a jump in comprehension in a subject they can and will be moved.. Again this happened to our daughter in 3rd grade.. They realized she was all of a sudden accelerating in math and moved her to a different group so she could move on along.

At our daughters school in kindergarten.. there were children reading on a 3rd and 5th grade level.. So our daughter was not placed with them during reading time.. I would not say she was dumb, but I will say she certainly could not have read the books they were reading. I would not want her to be placed in a group that she would have been struggling in.

Your son should not need to always be complimented.. He should be doing his best work because he wants to do his best. YOU can give the compliments and the teachers teach and your son does his best.. I really doubt, she NEVER compliments him.. I just bet it is not as often that she is giving praise as he gets at home.

wow....I'm sure I'm not the only person you offened by saying "put in with the dumb kids." Kids develop very differently and there are many areas of intelligence...and it's not just developed in a school curriculum.

advise: You need to work on building your childs self-esteem so he's not so driven by compliments and rewards. If your child compares himself like you do of others, it will only leads to despair. Remember the saying "compare and despair."

You have all the control to foster an internal self-esteem....it shouldn't come all from external forces becasue one day soon.....he'll be looking for external forces and trying to please his peers at any cost. A lot of teacher are wise on "compliments" and so they focus on goals, efforts and acknowledgements, not so much on "great job." Which one would you prefer?

Scenario 1: WOW...I can tell that you practiced a lot because you got all the answers correct and you completed the work on time, in fact, 10 minutes before anyone else finished, how do you feel about that?

Scenario 2: "Great Job!"

I'll take scenario 1 any day....it builds self-esteem, his own self-esteem...doesn't matter what others think, it only matters what he thinks.

Speaking with the principle is ALWAYS an option, but seek to understand rather than point fingers and blame your teacher for your kids achievements.

S.

I agree with Laurie A, and couldn't have said it better myself. PLEASE remove the term DUMB kids. Yes children are grouped by their ability, there is no such thing as a dumb group. I find it offensive!!!!!!

You need to help him find a way to self motivate. Otherwise you are going to have this throughout school. You can't expect a teacher to blow sunshine, they are there to teach.

I don't agree with a lot of what you described but that teacher may think she is doing him a favor trying to break this need in him. Thing is she is not going about it in a positive way.

I would start with do you feel you did your best? Don't go with you did your best I am proud of you because he very well may not have. Help him to internalize his successes so that regardless of his teacher he is proud of his work. Immunize him if you will, against teacher like he has now.

I think you have gotten some good advice about going in and talking to the teacher. As a teacher, I appreciate when parents come in with the attitude that they want to work together with me to find what will work best for their child. If parents come in with a bunch of accusations that imply that I am picking on their child, it is very hard not to get defensive. That will only shut down the lines of communication. If parents come in with the attitude that they want to work together with me, we have a much more productive conversation and can solve the problems much quicker and easier.

I'm a teacher in the Rochester schools. I can tell you with good faith that our district does not have "dumb kids" classes in any of our buildings. Yes, students may be grouped by skill level for reading or math instruction, but that grouping is based on assessments and what students show in their work. For the mist part, those are flexible groupings, which means students can move from one group to another if their skills improve or if they begin struggling. The purpose of doing that type of grouping is to make smaller groups where teachers can focus in on specific skills that students need. There are some district mandated qualifications for some groupings but individual buildings, individual grade teams, and individual teachers may also have some additional procedures for determining groupings. Groupings and/or special intervention classes for reading and math are done with the best interests of the students.

I truly feel that all of the schools in Rochester are good schools. Because the Rochester district is set up to have neighborhood schools, your child does need to attend the school in your neighborhood. There are some choice schools which are open to all students in Rochester, however they can only take so many students and you need to apply by a certain date. Students are then chosen by lottery. The application date for the choice schools may have already passed for the 2012-2013 school year. You can get exception to attend a school outside of your neighborhood but that is pretty much limited to daycare location. Contact records and registration at the Edison building and they can answer all of your questions.

Set up a meeting with the teacher. Write out a letter beforehand, and get someone whose judgment you really trust, to review it first. Make it very much "you and me, the team helping to educate my son" rather than you the mom against her the teacher. Don't criticize. Don't attack. Make it about your son's self esteem and desire to learn. Practice going over it beforehand. Stick to your points during the meeting. Make it very positive. Force yourself! No one likes to be made wrong, and she is your child's main person for 30 hours or more a week! You need her ON YOUR SIDE, not against you!!

Try this strategy!

Find out the facts (do not rely on the 7 yr old) Does the school group by abilities? Most schools will not that is very old fashioned, they may have different groups for math and reading but will not place a whole class of kids by ability. ASK. what makes you think the teachers will not hand out compliments? are you there all the time? Read the NY times article How Not to Talk to Kids and make sure You are using appropriate compliments. Sometimes very, very smart kids become afraid to fail, so many things come easily to them that they do not know how to challenge themselves.
Have you asked the teacher about the situation when he was in the bathroom she may have a different version than your son. Do not go in complaining, just have a list of questions to ask.
My son performs much, much better at home than at school, 1) away from distractions 2) with his mother he feels more comfortable, at school he is afraid of making mistakes. I work with him on math and reading at home to keep his confidence up and make school easier for him. The teacher can only work with what happens at school. But it is very typical for kids to do better at home than at school.

I would talk to the teacher first, then talk to the principal, make a list of questions and issues you have. Don't make it sound like you are blaming or bagging on the teacher, but be honest about your concerns and how the both of you can work together to make the situation improve. Just because he can do things okay at home, doesn't mean he can do them at school as well. Also, is homework is something he has learned, perhaps he is struggling with learning the new concepts while she is teachng or listening in class. There are many factors here.

Hi B.,
First of all, there are not "dumb kids", there are kids who reach/develop milestones and abilities at different times, that's all, and depend on many things how they reach these milestones or abilities or skills (parent's involvement, exposure to reading, writing, teachers, environments, motivation,etc) Now, to the point,B., it would be very helpful that you talk to the teacher, write this down, your concerns and facts, and create together a plan to help him. It seems that your little one feels more comfortable at home and for that reason, he is able to do more there than at school; he may feel shy or inhibited by the teacher (or someone else) and that is your job to find out why. I home school my kids now, but the older one attended PS for several years, and I always talked to the teacher with paper and pencil on hand..what I mean is that you have to write facts, not perceptions and discuss them with the teacher, and see if you two can develop some strategies to help your kid to feel better and thrive at school. You even may suggest changing a specific attitude or approach by the teacher herself. Depending on the teacher, she may response in a defensive mode, or totally cooperative, you will see this right away, but most of the times they are willing to help. If nothing of this helps or makes your kid be successful at school, you may want to move him to another school or class (I wouldn't do the last one).
Never be afraid or reluctant to stand up for your kids, but always do it in the most respectfully and calmly manner. Good luck!

Well, we live in your area and school through MNVA (online homeschooling.) may not be the best option for you...you really have to take it seriously, and it takes time...but it's an excellent curriculum, and there are a ton of social outlets through this school so you don't really miss out on that. In my opinion, the socializing is more appropriate because it's done outside of school hours instead of being a distraction during school.

Can you volunteer in the classroom once or twice to see how things work from an adult perspective? Can you talk to some of the other moms that volunteer to hear what they see? You can tell if a teacher is "different" with the parents around or not, at my son's school there are parents around all the time (esp me) and I randomly walk into all the classrooms (often for a reason) and take notes on what is going on - what seems to have the class happy what seems to be a disservice etc. I think you need to write down all of the issues your son has reported and get her take on them, tell her that if she dances around the issue then you will see a problem but if she clearly states the facts then there can be an adult discussion. You want to understand her methods and ways of teaching so you can help your son understand and succeed in her classroom. I knew a student in my class (k-6) that was never in the room with us when we did things like tests/quizzes - he needed them read to him and he needed a lower pressure area to do it in. Once that was realized and done, around your son's age maybe (hey I was a kid!) he was one of the top students. Kids need things sometimes and it's up to the teaching team (you, teacher, principal, teacher aides, volunteers) to notice it and take action. In the meantime I would ask the special ed department to do an evaluation to see if they can derterimine the reasoning for the extremem differences in results of home vs classroom. They legally MUST if you ask and they will either find something or the wont - honestly I kinda hope they do find something going on so he can get some extra attention and the teacher can go sit on it (if he/she really is a bad teacher - could be mis communication too) and be held accountable for not upholding your son's action plan.

Write a letter to the teacher and cc the principal.
Explain the situation -- facts only -- no emotions.
It could be that for some reason, she and your son don't get along... I'd call her on it. He's in 2nd grade. She should try to get along with all of her students.
If you don't get a response in 48 hours, make an appointment to see her and the principal to get to the bottom of the situation.
Don't use the term "dumb kids" when you talk to the teacher or the principal... they'll tune you out. Focus on the positive. Let them know that at home he does well on his addition tests. It could be where he is placed in the classroom that affects his work. It could be that one of the other children is distracting... It could be anything.
When you speak with the teacher, suggest that you volunteer in the classroom once a week. If you work outside the home or have younger children, you're going to have to make arrangements because this is VERY important. When you are in the classroom, you'll see how it works. You'll immediately see what works well and what doesn't.
You need to get involved and stay involved.
LBC

Maybe your son has an attention issue and all the distractions of a classroom and classmates are messing with his concentration at school? But at home he is fine becasue it is calm/less distractions. He may need an evaluation to see if he is having that type of problem, and then if he is, you can work with him on skills to overcome that, and the school will have to work with him too. Also, timed tests are many times a pressure that causes kids to freeze. I have a friend who went all through grade school and high school with me, she was Valedictorian of our class with a 4.0, and all accellerated classes, but yet, on standardized tests she would freeze, the idea of time limits just freaked her out, it was too much pressure. She regularly scored far below me on those types of tests, but in the long run those don't determine your whole future - she is very successful and very learned - she has a PHD in MicroBiology, and now teaches at a University and does research in her field.

I would make sure to talk to the teacher AND the principal before switching schools, make sure you listen to them too, and get the hwole story in detail/facts. Switching schools can be a hard change for a kid, even if they are struggling where they are, at least they are acclimated ot those kids and that school, starting over and being the new kid in the middle of the year can be really disruptive too!

It is possible he and the teacher could be having some conflict of personalities...my little brother had that problem in 2nd grade, with a teacher I had LOVED when I was that age....my brother ws one of the smartest kids in his class, and did great in school work, but was constantly "in trouble" with this particular teacher, and HATED school that year. I was in 8th grade when he was in 2nd and I had to literally drag him kicking and screaming/crying to school every day. Later on, through trying to deal with this and talking to other Moms, my mom found out this particular female teacher (who had 2 sons and a daughter of her own), was just plain old MEAN to little boys in general, for some reason. They ended up switching my brother to a different classroom/different teacher, still in the same school. I don't know if that is an option for you tho.

Good Luck!

Jessie