E.B.
I found that having things to do--getting out of the house--forced me into a little more of a schedule. Even doing ECFE one day a week was really helpful. Also--you're probably at the crux of the frustrating point. About 9 months was when my older one started acting resentful of the baby. Baby is now 14 months, and he and my four year old actually play together and enjoy being together--not that I still don't feel like I'm totally neglecting one or the other, but that the "baby" can play on his own a bit and the older one deals a little better when baby needs my attention. I've also found activities that occupy the older one better--watercolors, play doh, even doing some simple chores--and when I think I'm going to catch a good nap, we try to schedule something super-fun--like making cookies or Christmas decorating--something only an older child can do. Anyway--schedule? Nope...but it will get better, and probably soon! Good luck.