Schedule Issues with Young Children

This is how those women who are "early people" got to be that way. :-) I found that I needed to be up early enough to have my day in order enough to run those necessary errands in that brief time between the infant waking up in the morning and needing that morning nap. (You are blessed that he TAKES naps!) Trips to the park, etc. had to wait until the afternoon naps were synchronized. You have already gotten good advice about how to go about that. Remember that taking a nursery monitor and just getting outside with your 2 yr. old while the other sleeps can provide a needed break for both of you.

I have in-home daycare so it is important for me to have some time that everyone sleeps. It's the only break I get. The two nappers take their first nap at 9:00 and I get them up at 10:30. They are usually ready for another nap at 1:30. I put the older children down at 1:00. Everyone gets up about 3:30. I usually have at least an hour to myself. I can't do errands during the day, but I have my husband watch our children and I do them alone. We go for walks and play outside with everyone after the babies' first nap and before lunch and again after nap and snack.

When my children were that age, I ran errands in the morning. My older child was mostly cooperative, and oftentimes the baby slept in the car and even right through the errands. It probably wasn't ideal or perfect, but it worked. What she missed out on solid morning sleep, she made up for during her second nap.

I got them on the same napping schedule in the afternoons, and although I was tied to the house, I had some downtime, and that was terrific!

Best of luck to you!

I was dealing with this same thing for a while as well. I have a 2 1/2 yr. old and a 10 month old and was feeling confined to the house because of naps. I love having a set routine. So to get some errands accomplished during the day, I started to push the afternoon nap for both of them back to about 1:30 or 2:00. My younger daughter takes about and hour to an hour and a half nap in the morning and is usually up by 11:00. This would allow for some quck errands before lunch or an early lunch followed by a longer stretch of running errands. Your 2 year old will probably adjust quite quickly to a little bit later nap!

When my boys were little, my youngest was born when my oldest was 3 1/2 (they are now 6.5 and almost 3), I started running all our errands in the morning. We would be up and out of the house by 9am. The stores are less crowded, everyone is at work so the roads aren't busy, and you can get in a couple good errands in the morning when everyone is still well rested and full from breakfast. Get home and you have time for the little one's morning nap, or he can nap in the carseat, thats ok sometimes too. Then when you get home you have time to prepare lunch, and get the boys down for a nap at the same time, and you'll have the afternoon to yourself for a couple hours. Trust me, you need that. Get them on the same afternoon napping schedule... its a sanity saver.

Now that the boys are older, we still do all our errands in the mornings, nad are home by lunchtime. It just works out for us to run when they are well rested, and be home in time to eat and then have rest time.

I did it by canceling my expectations about going out during the day - I did my shopping in the evening when help arrived (husbands can be helpful). This gave me the break I needed for the day and let my kids have their normal sleep/play routine.

Dragging babies around town does lead to cranky kids (you will be cranky too). Having two kids means your life is now tied down - not to "the house" T., but to the needs of your kids. Lean on your husband more, get babysitters more and enjoy this time at home while you have it. You won't believe how fast it passes and how soon you will be in your car every moment on their behalf... then you'll be missing being at home!

T.,

I alter my children's napping schedule so they all go down at the same time, or close to it. In your situation, I would have the baby's morning nap happen 15-30 minutes earlier, then push your older child's nap back to 1:00 and get the baby down as close to 1:00 as you can.

Usually you want to adjust things slowly, maybe move everything 5 minutes a day until you get it where you want it. I don't blame you for wanting them to nap at the same time.

Now that my children are older (7,5,3,1) I stagger bedtimes in 30 minute intervals to allow for 1 on 1 time, but still have a good break in the afternoon. At 1pm, my baby goes down and I play with my 3 year old. At 1:30, my 3 year old goes down and I play with my 5 year old. At 2pm, my 5 year old goes down and I have my alone time until about 4pm when they all wake up. I do the same staggering at night, letting my 7 year old stay up the latest and she gets 1 on 1 time then.

Good luck,
S.

Hi T.,
I actually had this exact same problem too. My boys were born 20 months apart and it seemed like someone was always sleeping! I, too, liked to keep them on a good nap schedule for both my sanity and their well-being, so I know EXACTLY where you are coming from. What I found worked best (you probably aren't going to like this :-) was just keeping them on their nap schedules. Occasionally I would go do something (grocery store, park, etc. the very 1st thing in the morning when they had just woke up OR a quick trip somewhere after my baby got up from his last nap and before suppertime.) Most of the time though, I just stayed home. It did seem like "house arrest" for sure at times!! I would take the baby monitor outside so my older one could play and we could "get out of the house" for awhile. However, from one that is on the other side of that time now, I can tell you that it ended sooner than I thought it would. My 2nd transitioned to 1 nap/day sooner than my 1st so around the time my 2nd one was 14 months they were both taking just 1 nap a day. And although the timing of that nap wasn't always exactly the same, it did give us much more freedom to go and do things in the mornings. I believe you said your youngest was 5 months old, so I know 8 more months or so may seems like a long time to deal with this, just know it will eventually pass and your kids will be well-rested in the meantime! :-)
Hope this helps some- I do feel for you!

Tami

If there are 3 two-hour naps during each day, that means 6 hours is taken up with naps. Try looking at your problem backwards: 6 hours naps means 6 hours awake time (sort of). Which 6 hours are both of your kids awake?

If it happens to only be during meal times, try this: while one is napping, pack a picnic lunch and head to the park if they're both awake during lunch. (You can do the same for dinner, and include your spouse as well.) If they are both awake at breakfast time, nurse or bottle feed the baby, and let the two year old eat a breakfast bar in the car on your way to run a few errands.

I never let my son's naps interfere with my schedule. If he is napping while I am running errands, he sleeps in the cart. If he is napping in the car, fine. It would be harder with two, but still doable, especially if your baby can rife in a sling, or front pack carrier, or stroller. A double stroller might be the ticket for you. Either can sleep, and you can get in a good walk, either outside or at a mall, etc.

Also, whenever one or both are sleeping, that might be a fine time to ask a neighbor, friend, or relative to come over and watch them while you take a walk outside or drive to the local coffee shop or whatever for a break.

Let us know what you end up doing. My sister is a slave to her son's naptime, because she never taught him - or allowed him- to sleep anywhere else. I just couldn't handle life like that, so my son adapted to my routines, and we both are happy with the results.

What time does your younger child go down for his nap? Could you have them both go down for naps at 2:00? Maybe you could bump your older child's nap time back by half hour increments and try to get his nap in around 2, that way you could run to the park after lunch and let him run off some energy, and then also be able to get a few things done while they are sleeping. Even if they aren't in complete sync, it might help. If he is too cranky to adjust, you might want to try it again in a few months when he is a bit older. As my daughter got older, she naturally stayed up longer, and the very earliest she'll go down for a nap now is 1:00, but usually it's 2 or even 3 sometimes. She turns 3 next month. Even if you can't get things to work out now, as the boys get older, the younger one won't need a morning nap and you'll have more time to work with again. That seems like an eternity, doesn't it? I totally understand needing to get out of the house! I'm home with my daughter full time right now, and she and I both go stir crazy if we don't get out of the house at least once a day. Best wishes! As my mom used to say, "and this too shall pass".

Hi T.,
My son was 1 1/2 when my daughter was born. During the summer my son and I would go outside as soon as my daughter went down for a nap. I just clipped the baby monitor onto my pants. To run errands I would leave when my daughter was ready for a nap (I would feed her right before leaving). She would fall asleep in her car seat and then I would carry her, in her car seat, into the store. When she was around 6 months I started waking her from her morning nap after she had been sleeping for about 30 minutes. That way she was ready to take her second nap when my son took his. Some will argue that it is wrong to manipulate a child's sleeping schedule. However, in my case it worked out great. With my son, I catered to his sleep schedule and now at 3 1/2 he has a really hard time when their is any deviation in his sleep cycle. My daughter on the other hand is much better at handling changes in her schedule.
Where there is a will, there is a way!
Good luck!

I have 3 young children and I am always a stickler when it comes to sleep. It has worked out that the youngest naps in her carseat on the go. She's actually a better sleeper b/c of it I am sure. For the afternoon nap, I ALWAYS make sure I am home. I have gotten all of my kids on a schedule for afternoon naps. Everyone goes down for a nap at about 12:45-1:15. That way, AM naps are a litle more hit of miss, but if needed, it gets in. PM naps are ALWAYS at home in their beds/crib. It works for us, I hope it helps for yoU!

Buy a sling! Your youngest is still small enough that he may be able to nap while you're out running your errands. A sling or wrap will allow you to wear him while he naps (which may help him sleep better while out). Try www.lucky-baby.com or www.goo-ga.com if you want to order one (otherwise, I think they have some at Target and Babies-R-Us). Realistically, there's no way to get your two children on the same schedule just yet and attempting to do so will result in more problems. Babies who become over-tired during the day don't nap as well and don't sleep as well through the night. You really don't have that much longer to go before you can switch your youngest to one nap though. My daughter made the switch at 10 months and did just fine with it!

Hi! I have a 4 and 3 year old and had the same issue. I would just run all my errands first thing in the morning right after breakfast. Then My youngest would be ready to nap as soon as we got home. then the other would be tired about a half hour before she would wake up. That way I got in a half hour at least of me time. It was nice to be able to play with him for a little bit, put him down, have a break, and then she would wake up hungry, I would feed her and then she was pretty content at that age to play in the johnny jump up or watch baby einstein, or sit in her bouncy chair and chew on her toys while I got some things done. The afternoon was harder as he did not sleep very long and then I had both of them fight over me for a while until she got tired again. Neither of them have taken a nap for the last almost 2 years, but are not crabby kids. I just don't get breaks anymore. But at least they play pretty good together some of the time:)
Try going out in the morning. I found that if I didn't go then I would not get a chance later. Good luck!

You've gotten a lot of great advice here! At this stage it's all about experimenting. How else will you know if your little one will sleep through errands?:) I'd suggest trying out some of the suggestions here and see how they work for you. It'll all fall in place soon enough!

Good luck!

My suggestion would be to maybe move your older son's nap time back a bit each day to see if you can get them to take a nap at the same time. Also, when my son was as young as you littlest and was still in his carrier car seat, I would take him out during his nap time. When I new it was about time for him to take a nap I got us all packed up and put in the car. He would normally fall asleep on the car ride to the store and then since he was in the carrier I could just lift him out of the car and put him in the shopping cart. My son was a sound sleeper so he could almost sleep the whole time we were in the store. Just thought I'd mention it to you, because you might get away with doing that with your son too, that way you can get out of the house.

I'm a stickler when it comes to routines and nap time, it makes my life so much easier and the kiddos are happier. I have an almost one year old and I also watch my 19 month old niece and they are are on the same schedule but my little guy still naps in the morning for a half hour or so. He has always been one that goes down for his morning nap about 1-2 hours after he wakes up in the morning. So he is up at 7 and then down again at usually 8:30-9:00. I will run errands with the two of them after his a.m. nap which was usually over at 9:30-10:00 and then we would be home for lunch, I always take sippy cups/bottles and snacks with me so if we are running late for lunch then they are happy till we get back home. Then the two of them both go down in the afternoon around 12:30-1:00 and are awake around 3-3:30. So it works really well for us. I hope that this helps you as well. Good luck!

I agree with everyone who believes in keeping to a nap schedule. I have a 2-year-old and one on the way in October. My son is pretty good about taking a nap any time between 12:00 and 2:00, but it's usually 1:00. I think your older son would adjust easily to a slightly later nap so it will overlap with your younger son's nap.

I totally disagree with whoever said that you should just let the children nap where they are out and about and not be a "slave" to naptimes. I've seen kids that survive this way. They are often cranky, and life is unpredictable.

Another thing that has worked for me is doing as much errand running on-line. Ever since our son was born, we did most of our Christmas shopping on-line, order diapers on-line, pet food, etc. etc. Of course, it helps that I don't like to shop anyway! Soon, we plan to have our groceries delivered. I agree that it is good to have husband support. In fact I start dinner before my hubby gets home, but he pretty much has to help when he walks in the door or it won't be done until late. He's great that way.

I agree with the need for a schedule - I would try to push the 2 year olds nap back to better line up with the 5 month olds afternoon nap. It is a balance to be able to be with your kids but also ensure you can get the things done you need to make the house run smoothly. I found that both my kids (who loved naps) didn't get crabby as long as we were on the go - when I saw they were getting droppy we would head home. Good Luck!

I didn't have time to read all the other responses so I hope I am not repeating too much. My kids are not quite 2 years apart so I have dealt with this same issue when they were smaller (they are now 8 and 6). What I found to be helpful was to run errands as soon as the baby got up from her nap. And then just put my son down a little later in the afternoon. Try to work your schedule out so that they both nap at the same time in the afternoon so that you can also have some mommy time too (which is important) to get stuff done or just relax. Don't give up on the nap schedule though. I agree it is important for all involved to keep stability with a nap schedule!! Good luck!