Scared of Theatres

Movie theaters are dark, the images on the screen are larger than life, and the sound is loud.
Give her time and she'll grow out of her fear. In the meantime, just rent or buy movies and let her watch them at home.

My daughter was also afraid of movie theaters until she was about 6 yrs old. Even then she would sit on my lap through the whole move. She really wasn't able to pinpoint what exactly freaked her out about them even though she was/is usually a very good communicator. She is now 14 years old and goes to movies all the time and loves them.

Even though she hated movie theaters, airplanes were never a problem. My hubby's parents lived in England so we flew there every year or so with never an issue. I would definitely make sure she never hears you say that airplanes are scary. It can be very easy to transfer our fears to our kids. Be super careful what she hears! On most international flights there are seatback screens that play movies an tv shows on multiple channels, so there is usually something specifically for kids to watch. Check with your airline. If you can fly Virgin, I would highly recommend it. They were hands down the best with my girls when they were little. I wouldn't recommend using any kind of 'drug' (even natural or homeopathic) on a child to help with a fear that she doesn't even have. You say she's flown before, so the plane itself should not be an issue. Just make sure you have plenty of snacks and fun things to do. We packed an entire carry on with just plane activites for them. Small felt board and story felts. Two or three small tubs of Playdoh. Coloring supplies. Storybooks for you to read to her. Age appropiate activity books (dot to dots, simple mazes, etc.).

She'll do great on the plane and will eventually grow out of the theater fear. In the meantime stick with movie rentals at home. Don't forget the popcorn!

Some movie theaters are very very loud - almost too loud for me. They use to have head sets for people who were hard of hearing, now they almost need to hand out ear plugs for everyone else. On a few occasions I've brought my own ear plugs. Believe me, you can still hear very well through them and you don't feel like the speakers are up against your ears.
An airplane is nothing like a movie theater.
My son went to a birthday party at a movie theater when he was 3.5 and he didn't care for it much (spent a lot of it in my lap) but he really took to movies when he was about 5. I wouldn't worry about it too much. It's common and they grow out of it. The DVD (for Tangled) will be out before long and she'll be able to watch it very comfortably at home.

Movies scared me as a kid! That's a HUGE picture and a huge amount of sound! Talk about overwhelming - it can really be a sensory overload.

Does your girl have trouble with dvd movies at home? If not, it is probably the theater situation. If she were my daughter and really wanted to see a film in a theater, I'd sit at the door with her, and when she said it was time to go, we'd go. I might even say, "Fifteen minutes! You've stayed longer than the last movie we went to," very casually as we left. (You're putting out a lot of money for fifteen minutes, but that's what mamas do.)

You've probably already been talking about where you're going on your trip. You might prepare your little girl for the international flight by reading some books to her about it, if you can find the appropriate ones in your library. Then she'll know - and you'll remember - that the lights going out at takeoff is only part of what always happens. Teach her how to unplug her ears when the altitude changes. Tell her there will be movies but they will be on very small screens, not big ones. Make sure she has plenty of sitting-down things to do while she's awake. Let her know also that it's such a long flight that she'll even get to sleep on the plane! (She won't be able to change into pajamas, but maybe you can find her a "sleeping hat" to enjoy on her flying sleepover.)

for the flight I would ask your pedi if they are against using melatonin to aide in the sleeping of your little one on the flight ... it could be difficult for her to sleep on the plane if she is upset/nervous. Most flight attendants are helpful but really when it comes down to it the more they sleep on the flight the better it is for all. Good Luck on that one. Oh and we do not do movie theaters with my son he won't even sit still for a movie at home!

She is 4 years old, and so I would just ask her, what she is 'scared' about.

It could be she still indirectly or directly 'remembers' her theater stint, at 2 years old and how it felt and scared her.
My daughter, although now 8 years old, Remembers very clearly, things that happened when she was 2 years old.

At 4 years old, your Daughter should be able to sort of tell you why, she is scared.

All I know is, my daughter, did NOT like movie theaters or stage theater theater... at all, until recently maybe a year ago.
For her, it was simply TOO loud. She couldn't stand it. She went nuts. But she told us why, even when she was only 2 years old. And some of the characters, do scare children. Even if they 'do' want to see the movie.
Much like the same reaction some kids display about Santa Clause- they WANT to see Santa, but then get scared when it is their time to go and sit with him. Both my kids, did that too. My son is 4 and still will NOT go near Santa at the Mall. He will only stand at a distance. But he wants to 'see' Santa.

Kids this age, still do have fears or new fears arise. It is developmental based.

Flying in a plane, well that is different. Or maybe not to her.
You don't know.
So, I would start by asking her what scares her... about movies???
Also, these movies also does have sound effects, defined 'good guy' and 'bad guy' characters, accompanying songs which all add to the 'ambiance' of the movie etc.
So all combined, it can be 'scary.'
I remember, at even an older age like 6 or 7, being really scared of those Disney Movies. Even 101 Dalmatians.

That is a long flight. We have gone to Europe.... and from here for us, it takes about 23-24 hours. Just to get there 1-way. I personally, cannot stand it. It is too long a flight, even for me as an adult. I hate, long flights. I go nuts.

Now, IF your daughter is fearful of plane rides. You do not know that. But if you do, then I would get Professional help. Or you could make it worse.
Things like this are 'phobias.' Which many people have.

all the best,
Susan

First off, your child is quite normal! Relax. When my youngest first went to a movie theater, with his two older brothers and me, he had a difficult time. It helped him to bring a pair of ear muffs (just a set of winter ear muffs) that gave him a feeling of "protection" from the loud music at the movie theater. My two cents worth is to find a piece of clothing (sweater, for instance) that you buy or get for her to wear at movie theaters which is her "protective armor" or "turtle shell" or "shielding cloak". Adding that _you_ are also her protector will be very good. If it applies, mention her guardian angel.

The 4-yr-old age is about the time of learning what unreal actually means. It's definitely time to be there when she is watching any TV or movies. I liked picking out a TV commercial and talking, and showing, what about it is truth and what is not (i.e., you don't open a box of cereal at home and have a leprechaun or bunny jump out of it! Ha!).

I agree with what "Adansmama" as well as the post from "Jen S". You two will do fine!

My daughter is in 3rd and still hates movie theatres. The sounds are too loud and she gets overwhelmed and a headache.

it's quite possible that youre child is scared of sparks flying from the light progector to the movie screen. that scared my friend for life and now she is forever unable to go to the movies again. so sorry for you.

My son was scared of movies at that age too. If you think about it, it IS pretty overwhelming with the lack of lighting, huge images, loud noises etc. We just avoided movies at the theatre during that time. No biggie.
Regarding your flight, I think it is altogether different. I seriously doubt she'd react the same way. My best advice would be to give her some benedryl to make her more chilled out during the flight. Maybe test it out beforehand to see how she reacts to it. It would also help adjusting her to the new time zone. Also, make sure you have a variety of new "projects" to keep her occupied. Maybe crafts you can do together etc. Best of luck!

2 is not a good age for a movie. they are just learning what fear is, and this is the time that all kinds of irrational fears pop up - of the dark, of "ghosts", etc. so i imagine it was pretty traumatic. i don't see why she shouldn't be allowed to have this fear. pretty rational if you ask me. she is not old enough to realize that the emotional upset she experienced at 2 doesn't have to keep happening every time she's in a movie theater. i say let it go, quit wasting your money. you just said yourself she was fine for a 4 hour flight, so don't make a big deal about the 20 hour one. perhaps get an ipod with some headphones, her favorite blanket (my son loves to put his blankets over his head, especially when he gets scared of the dark, maybe she would take to that). make it fun with her favorite snacks and toys/books. it won't be easy but it doesn't have to be traumatic. it's going to go a long way if you have a good attitude about it and don't anticipate her having problems. she's a big 4 year old girl now. she can handle the adventure. if you tell her that's what it is.

My daughter was exactly the same way at that age. She was scared to death in Horton Hears a Who, her first movie at 3 1/2, and she never liked movies much anyway. She was shivering in my lap in the theater. She loved episodes of Dora at home, or other cartoons, but never movies, because if it was a full-length movie, it had SOME suspense in it, even if it was a cartoon. So, it was the fault of the movies just as much as the dark. She wasn't scared of the dark at bedtime, just when there was a movie. At age 5, she realized that she did like some movies that were not cartoons. She loves Cheaper by the Dozen and the old version of the Parent Trap. But, in real-life kid movies (as opposed to cartoons) even suspenseful situations are less intimidating. In a cartoon, you can draw anything, so you can make it as scary as you want.

So, we basically avoided movies for awhile. We tried again at 4, and she was the same. We tried again at 5, and she ENDURED Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, but still had to clutch me and sit on my lap. At 6, she is finally getting better. We saw Tangled with no problems.

So, if she's like my daughter, give her about 2 more years,and don't add any movies with suspense until that time (and even then, choose the movies carefully). Hopefully that's all it is. Hey, I'm glad that I'm not the only one with a kid like this! I thought it was just us! ;)

About the flight--I'm guessing that without the sound, the movies won't seem as bad. Bring other things to do so she won't spend much time looking up at them. We took our daughter to China a year ago to adopt her brother, but Air China doesn't show movies, so we didn't have to deal with that.