Scared of Night Time Car Rides

Updated on February 13, 2010
L.D. asks from Austin, TX
13 answers

My 9 month old does pretty good on car rides during the day, and he does OK at night if there is someone in the backseat with him. But if I'm driving around after dark, running errands, etc, my son seems to get really upset and scared if there is no one in the backseat with him. I've given him his favorite toys, pacifier, lovee, etc, but nothing seems to help him. The longer he's in the car, the more upset he gets. Do you think it's separation anxiety?

Have any of you experienced this problem? Any solutions?

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

It could be an issue with the dark. Perhaps get a glow in the dark toy that he could have on his carseat, or a mirror that he could look at, and see you with.

M.

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B.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

Get a light up toy, like a Glow Bear (At Wal Mart) or a Glow Worm that can be turned on and brighten up a little, but not enough to interfere with your driving. My boys both did this around a year old, HATED being in the car at night. They outgrew it quickly, but they both had a Glow Bear (the small one) and they loved that thing (both still do. :))

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S.A.

answers from Houston on

If he has been in the car a lot that day and then some more at night - he may just be fussy because he is tired of being in the car! Also, many friends talk about early evening as the "bewitching hours" when traditionally well behaved and happy kids turn into banshee, fit throwing, unhappy children... so, it may just be that his bewitching time is coinciding with your nighttime trips to run errands. Is there a way for you to run errands without him or a way to run errands after he has gone to sleep at home? Also, at 9 months, he is probably ON THE MOVE and doesn't want to be in a car seat being driven around - he wants to be crawling and pulling up and moving around! When my daughter was that age, I would put her to bed and then get out to run my errands and do some shopping, etc. Since I am a stay at home Mom it was always nice to get out by myself!

Good luck.
blessings,
stacy

1 mom found this helpful
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S.O.

answers from San Antonio on

I am not so sure on separation anxiety. Riding in a dark car at night when you are little can be very scary. Also, my kids never much well after 7 or 7:30 pm, especially when they were babies.
They are tired and need a soothing ritual/ down time at home to prepare for sleep. Quiet dinner, bath, books to read or quiet time. I don't think running errands at night is very relaxing for your baby and you should leave him home with someone to get him ready for bed.

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A.B.

answers from San Antonio on

Although my kids are OK with that, when I was a kid I had a real problem being scared of the dark, and that might have contributed to this. Someone mentioned a book light in the car for him. When I was a kid, that might have helped me, although being 9 months old, he probably won't hold onto it for the entire car ride. You might have to mount it somewhere. I would suggest the book light only because I imagine it would distract you less than the regular interior lights. Good luck!

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J.H.

answers from San Antonio on

I think separation anxiety is a good guess. Or maybe he's just feeling scared or confused by the darkness.

My oldest, who is now 13, had this issue. I would turn on the dome light in the car and she would stop crying instantly. Turn it off and she would begin crying again. My other children have not had this issue and I think it's because there was always someone there with them.

I would get him a toy that has a light and maybe even music. I would also try talking or singing to him so he knows you're there this has worked for me. If your husband is in the car with you maybe one of you can sit in the backseat with him. He will get over it in time as he develops further.

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A.B.

answers from El Paso on

My cousin had the same problem with her little boy. She just kept a small booklight available to clip onto his car seat or door so he wouldn't be in total darkness.

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S.C.

answers from Houston on

we have the same problem, personally I think it is just because it is dark and they can't see anything. A lot of times, if we are close to home, I will turn on the overhead dome light and it will help calm my 9 mon old down a little. I wouldn't want to be strapped in a car staring a the back of a seat, in the dark, by myself either. I try to keep night errands to a minimum.

J.B.

answers from Houston on

My son started screaming in the backseat about that age and did it for awhile, only at night. We just did our best to comfort him, play music for him etc. We never sat back there with him because what could we do when we were alone, so we just let him work it out. I don't really remember how long it went on, seemed like forever at the time, but one day he stopped and it has never been a problem again. Good luck!!

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N.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I had this problem with my son also. It was so frustrating when the time changed and I had him in the car in the dark after picking him up from my mom's house. On shorter drives he was okay, but after about 20 minutes he would really get upset. Our schedule has since changed so he is not in the car as long in the dark and he is doing much better. I'm thinking he has finally grown out of it. At the time though not even his favorite toys would keep him happy. Hopefully your baby will grow out of it soon too!

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J.D.

answers from Houston on

We had this problem with my son as well. He would be fine during the day but would become completely distraught when it got dark if someone wasn't riding in the back with him. If I was by myself I would just turn the reading light on above him (it was on his side of the car and it wasn't so bright that it bothered me). I would also play his favorite music and bring along his favorite toys. He outgrew it in a few months, and was never a really a problem once he moved into a forward facing carseat.

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J.T.

answers from College Station on

We had this issue with our middle son. It was really hard since it hit at winter when it gets dark a lot earlier. It once took us 5 hours to go from Dallas to CS (usually 3 hours) because we had to stop so often.

We just made it a point to leave where we would get home before dark. It didn't last long and it didn't matter that someone was in the back seat (he had me and his older brother to distract).

Good Luck!

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J.H.

answers from Houston on

My daughter also does this. I think it is either she is scared or doesn't want to go to sleep that way. It is a little better if my son is back there with her but not always does that help. We turn on her light above her head and that seems to help.

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