Scared All the Time

it says you have a 16 yr old boy as well, could the 16 yr old have shown them a scary movie at a time you weren't home or maybe at a friends house?

Fear like that sometimes stems from something they've seen or been told.

Also do they have a nightlight ? and maybe some soft music playing at night. One might be having nightmares and relaying them to the other.

It's kind of unusual for a child of seven to develop a sudden irrational fear. Have you talked to both kids teachers to find out if they have displayed a change in behavior at school as well? Even if the teachers say school is okay, go and have lunch with both younger boys at school a few times and watch their behavior. If all is well at school, take mental stock of any events that may have occured at home. Have you moved recently, installed a new major appliance that makes spooky noises, changed their sleeping arrangements, introduced a new person or pet to the home, etc.? Also, there is a decent age gap between your oldest son and the two younger ones. Do they have a good relationship? If you find the younger children are avoiding the oldest, there might be some teasing going on. I used to annoy the heck out of my older brother and even though he was an otherwise great kid, he wasn't always very nice to me. We both laugh about it now, but we were actually pretty cruel to each other at times, and my mother never even knew until we were both adults. If none of those possibilities apply, it is time to investigate. My seven year old daughter and several of her classmates have recently discovered Goosebumps books, which are available from the school library. Although they are age appropriate books, they are also very spooky, and include stories about ghosts, werewolves, and other monsters. My daughter would never admit that these stories creep her out, but just last night she asked to sleep in my bed with me. I found that odd since she read six of the Harry Potter books and wasn't creeped out once, even when major characters died. I think the difference was that none of the other kids were reading Harry Potter, whereas a lot of them are reading Goosebumps and talking about how scary the stories are. But kids are funny like that, you never know what's going to give them the heebie-jeebies. Ask your seven year old if he has been reading material like that or if he has happened across a T.V. program that may have frightened him. Some of the trailers they show on T.V. for horror movies give ME the creeps! Also, look within your own home for material that is less than warm and fuzzy. My mother was always an avid reader and especially loved horror stories. The covers on some of those books were terrifying to me as a child (a monster coming out of the toilet, a dark shadowy figure watching children play, zombies, bones, blood and knives, etc.) Kids are curious, and your middle son is at that stage where he really starts investigating his environment (ie: the whole house and possibly other people's personal belongings). And last, if the relationship between the oldest boy and the younger ones is good natured, maybe he can help with the problem. It's not unusual for a child to be more willing to open up to a sibling than a parent. Good luck!

when my children were around that age they started clinging to both each other and myself. i enrolled my older son in a day program to help him to let go and before i knew it he was wanting to be around others.

Hi P.,

I'm with Beth on this one. Even if your son didn't do or say anything, one of his friends could have. My big brother's friends always picked on me and tried to scare me when Mom wasn't around...it usually worked. My brother is 11 years older and I believed everything he and his friends told me, lol!

God Bless!

M.

Try giving them Bach Flower Remedies. There are a number of flowers that address fear issues. The descriptions are on the labels. Go to your local health food store to find them. Two that I know of that might help are Rescue Remedy, and Aspen. Just mix a drop or two in their drinking water.

BTW, Bach flower remedies are great for MOMS too! I swear by them.

Childhood fears are hard to deal with due to their irrational nature. You cannot reason someone out of a fear. Sudden fears, I believe, are cause for a little concern. Do they have a new imaginary friend? Have they expressed verbally that they feel like something scary is in the house with them or around them? I have learned through personal experience not to discount the spiritual aspect of fear. I can elaborate further if you are interested. We have experienced complete healing from fears, so I'd love to help you out if I can.

Have your seven year old been looking at any scarry movies or has someone scared him. Just pull your seven year old to the side and ask him what he is afraid of. Walk thru the house and open closet and let him be reassured that their is one in the closet or in the house.

S. Jones.

I have 8 and 6 year old boys and we have this exact same situation at our house. It seems to be worse when it's dark outside. We just keep telling them "Oh, you're being silly!", and hope they grow out of it.

Hi P.,

The fist thing that comes to mind is the teen. He may be telling the younger boys things that scare them. You might have a talk with him.

I grew up in a large family of cousins. One of the things that we would do when our relatives came from out of town is to set around at night and tell scary stories. When some one would get scared we would all laugh. Just the mention of a monster or boogie man would cause some of younger ones to get scared. It was all in fun but I can remember when I was the one getting scared. My mom left my door open, a night light help to keep the shadows away.

Usually young ones will just be scared. Talking about it, checking out the closets at night when you put them to bed,giving them a password they yell out or giving them permission to come get you if they are scared. Any of these things can help get them over being scared. It takes time so be prepared to be on call for a while.

Good luck,
L.