Santa Claus Help

Updated on December 09, 2010
L.P. asks from Houston, TX
19 answers

Let me preface this with "I love my neighbors"!!! We both have boys that are all around the same age, with our oldest attending Kindergarten together. They have been together since they were babies and are like brothers.
My neighbors are Muslim and therefore don't celebrate Christmas or the secular Santa. They have told their sons that there is no Santa Claus, so the problem is that their little boy is telling my son that there is no Santa. I have spoken with them about this and they have mentioned they have had talks with their boy about not saying anything, but at 5 years old, of course he's going to repeat what his parents have told him. I have tried telling my son that they do not celebrate Christmas therefore Santa doesn't come to their house and that they get gifts during a different time of year (Ede). I feel a little sad that he has so many doubts about Santa at 5. Any suggestions on how I can encourage his belief in Santa and what to tell him when he keeps hearing there is no Santa from his best friend?
Thanks,
L.

1 mom found this helpful

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L.B.

answers from Corpus Christi on

First my children or 29 and 32 so they are well over the age of believing in Santa, however when they were younger they were told that if they believed in Santa then he would come. That still holds true to today and they will both tell you that they get a gift from Santa to this day. HA lol My grandchildren think that there is one because Mom and Dad get gifts also. This might work for you til the time is right.

2 moms found this helpful

S.R.

answers from Kansas City on

I would explain to him that people of different backgrounds/religions celebrate Christmas differently or do not celebrate it at all.

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

I tell my kids that Santa only visits those who believe in him.

8 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

My daughter's 1st grade teacher, would tell her class, per the kids that did not believe/or it was not their culture that Santa "Is real, at my house...." and she would ALSO teach, at this time of year, the MANY world cultures... and how they each "celebrate" the Holidays.
If a child, learns/understands that there are, different cultures... then that is good and useful. BUT that, we all respect, different cultures. NOTHING is wrong or right, about that.
The world is made up of many... cultures. It is not only our, way.

Online.... you can also SHOW your son... the "history of Santa." Input those exact words, when doing the Google search. THAT way... he can see and read.... with your help... about "Santa" and the history about him and how he came to be.

All the best,
Susan

4 moms found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

We have this same problem. Our neighbors are Buddhist and the family is from Sri Lanka. They have adopted a few Christmas traditions to help their kids "fit in", but no Santa. Last year there were issues with their eldest daughter debunking the myth. I talked to mom, we are very close neighbors and I was totally comfortable mentioning it to her. And I know she talked to her daughter, but it continued. I guess when you have a secret that big it's hard to keep it in. It's actually helped at our house a bit. Because we have explained that you have to believe for Santa come. Since our neighbors refuse to believe he skips their house. They get a present from their parents, but no gifts from Santa and no stockings. I have also mentioned to him that it's ok for people to think different things. I don't want to vilify my lovely neighbors in any way. He seems ok with this explanation. And I'll admit...we don't get together quite so often around the holidays. I know our Christmases with our kids truly believing are numbered.

3 moms found this helpful

G.T.

answers from Modesto on

I think Christmas morning will quash any of his current doubts.
In the meantime just let him know that Santa Claus is coming to town whether he believes in him or not.

2 moms found this helpful
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P.K.

answers from Houston on

We had the same issue when my daughter was younger fortunately, the movie Polar Express had just came out and I watched it with her and I told her that if you "believe" Santa will come to your house. He doesn't come to the childrens house who don't "beleive" in the miracle of Christmas. I just left it at that and didn't expand.

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L.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Ask your neighbors if they would mind sitting down with all the kids and telling them the same thing you told your son. If their kids hear them say that Santa comes to your house because of Christmas and because they do not celebrate it Santa just passes them by maybe it will help? I don't know how to explain it but maybe between the parents you all can come up with some solution that works for both your families.
Good luck and God bless.

1 mom found this helpful

A.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

Reassure him that Santa is very real for those cultrues that celebrate Christmas. Then tell him "Santa has never missed visiting you and he won't again. Just wait until Christmas.... I bet he comes!" It will remind him to quit worrying about it and to just look forward to the day! :)

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S.B.

answers from Houston on

Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Christ and that is what we taught our kids. Santa is a belief and we enjoyed that with our children as well. I wanted my kids to enjoy their childhood like my husband and I did. Kids today grow up so fast that I don't see anything wrong with having a belief in something. When my kids got older and asked about Santa, my answer was "if you believe he will come". Santa comes every year and my kids are 22 and 18. Now, do they know the truth? Sure ,but they believe and he still comes!!!!

1 mom found this helpful

J.B.

answers from Houston on

I think kids just sort of choose their own timing. I remember as a kid I believed in Santa and some kid told me he wasn't real and I wouldn't budge. By the next year, I just realized the whole thing just didn't make sense and wanted to know what was up and my mom could tell I was done, I was six and I was ready. So maybe he is just getting close to his age that he is ready to understand the symbol of Santa as opposed to the actual belief in a chubby man sneaking in the house:) What I find so interesting is that we did the approach of not doing anything unless asked directly. So recently my son who is 3.5 asked me was Santa real. I told him he was but now he lives in heaven with God and parents love what he did so much that they have carried on the tradition of surprising their children with gifts on Christmas morning. He seemed fine with this and has actually decided he believes!! It is actually cute. He asked me the other day "Hey Mom, where is Santa" I said "Oh, you know in Heaven" He goes "No he isn't, he's at his house asleep!" I said "Really, why?" He goes "Because it's night of course!" Too funny!! So for him Santa is like any super hero or Barney or whatever character is real to a child but not promoted by his father and I. Just a joyful thing of childhood. We never thought of this being the outcome we just let him think what he wanted about it and told him more details as he asked and we are really happy that we never misled him but that he still has the wonderment of childhood and Santa at Christmas time. So I say let him lead. If he outright asks, I say come clean. But if you aren't sure he really wants to know yet you could always say "Well what do you think?" If he says he thinks Santa isn't real, I would tell him, but that's me. But if he still really wants to believe, maybe just tell him to stick to what he thinks, because that's what matters most in life anyway. Or you could take our approach and tell him about a generous man still inspiring parents around the world. Good luck however you handle it, Merry Christmas!!

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L.T.

answers from Austin on

I completely agree w/ Lesley S.

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L.B.

answers from Austin on

We haven't experienced this with someone so close, but it has come up for my 6 yr old and we simply talk about different families believe different things and their spiritual beliefs are different and Santa honors that just like he honors our beliefs.

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S.D.

answers from Austin on

I do not understand the need to perpetuate the whole Santa thing at all costs. It's one thing to play this little game when they're young, but entirely another to force it on them once they've figured it out. Why not just let him in on the game? You can still pretend that Santa comes, not burst other children's bubbles, etc. That is the true magic - learning to use your imagination.

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P.B.

answers from Austin on

You've received a lot of good responses.... I'm a "preacher's kid" and I never, ever believed in Santa because Christmas Eve was the only time we ever left church AFTER my dad (we lived next door). So, I knew it was him. Weird, I know.

My daughter, however, believed until 3rd grade! Good grief!! Then after the kids hashed it out at school (it got tearful for a couple of the girls), I ended up telling her that she & her friend were both right, that there truly WAS a St. Nick, who did wonderful things for people but Santa IS make-believe. She wanted the truth, she had said. She got over it after a while; I guess I'm glad she was so naive. She still pretended to believe, though, for a while....bless her heart.

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J.T.

answers from College Station on

I would concentrate on the religious version of Christmas instead of the commercial/secular version of Christmas. My boys still believe, but they are getting doubtful. So now we concentrate on the religious and good feelings of the season (to which Santa plays a part).

Santa doesn't have to be a specific person. Just as we believe that Angels can be anyone, so can Santa.

Good Luck.

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L.S.

answers from Spokane on

Well I hate to say it, but maybe it's time to go a little less literal with Santa and start with the 'Santa is the spirit of giving' route. I personally wouldn't blatantly lie to my child just to keep the Santa thing going, especially if he's having doubts and questions.

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T.B.

answers from Miami on

You may not appreciate my input but I don't encourage the belief of santa either and I am not Muslim. My husband and I are born again Christians, raising our children with the truths of the Bible and with those truths comes along with the truth that santa does not exist. Yes, it may be cute and many people encourage it but I caution you to examine what you are teaching your children. In reality, you are teaching them a lie and it is really important to understand that our children look up to us for facts and the truth. It's okay to allow a child to enjoy the fantasy of santa without enforcing it on them so much that you are forcing them to believe in something that is not real. For example, when my first born came to me, she was about 4 years of age, she asked me if santa was real. We never encouraged the belief of santa but she asked so I answered. I said, "Sweety, do you believe there is a santa?" She said she didn't know. I asked her if she wanted to believe in santa? She said she wasn't sure. So, I said, well, it's okay to believe if you want and it's okay to not believe if you don't. I didn't push the subject and she didn't ask any more question at that time. The next year she asked me again, by this time she was in kindergarten. She told me some kids said there was a santa....some said there wasn't. I also had my second child on my lap who was listening intently. I told my daughters that there is no such thing as santa but that most of the world believes there is and many parents encourage it. I also stressed that it would be unfair of them to tell other children that there isn't such a thing, that it should only be up to the parents if they want to tell their children the truth. I believe in total honesty. My children trust me and I WANT them to trust me and how trustworthy would I be if I endorsed a lie and "forced" them to believe it? I believe you can still enjoy the fantasy of santa while maintaining the trust that you want your children to have in you.

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