Santa Claus - Austin,MN

Wait until they really want to know. Chances are they DO already know, or at least strongly suspect. They will ask for the truth when they are ready. Kids grow up too fast anyway. let them enjoy their childhood- and all the make-believes that go with it- as long as possible.

As a mom of 6, I have faced this many times over the years. My answer is, and always will be the same: "What do you think? I do know that Santa brings gifts to those who believe. But, it's up to you to think what you like. I believe." I started this when my now 19 and 21 yr olds were 9 and 11 and I still had little ones around who DID believe. I didn't want them to start asking questions at the wrong time and spoiling it for the little kids. If you asked any of the kids today, they would ALL say I BELIEVE, I BELIEVE!

I told my daughter this spring at age 7.5 I was sick of lying to her. She kept asking and arguing with me and I just had to tell her. She pretty much knew already. She was catching on.

I am 41 years old and I still believe in Santa Claus.

The tradition of Santa when I was living with my parents was...church on Christmas Eve. We would go to church and our family would sit together in the front church pew. We would all stay together during the service. Then we would come home and the presents would be under the tree.

I still today do not know how they got there. I still believe in Santa.

P.S. Mom and Dad are Santa's helpers but sometimes he really does visit.

Our 11 year old announced to us recently that he knows there's no Santa. We informed him that whoever doesn't believe in Santa, won't get gifts from Santa. We have Santa in our Christmas, but our real focus is on the birth of Christ. I believe that is why our 2 oldest children haven't been devastated when they find out who Santa really is. Santa is always real in our home, he just gets redefined the older we get!

Good luck. I bet your 11 yr old already know. :)

A great way to do this is to follow along the lines of the "Spirit of Santa," as some others have suggested.

Encourage your 11 year old to start demonstrating his own "Santa spirit." Perhaps this could be by participating in some of the community drives where he can provide a gift to someone in need. He could also help add to the spirit around the house by being encouraged to find ways to show the spirit throughout the season; maybe even introduce a new, small but meaningful tradition to try out. If the family likes it you might continue it, but if not, something new next time around. Being a 'secret Santa' around the house by doing things for others (i.e. making the bed for someone while they are still in the shower, etc.) is a way to do this without monetary concerns. This is a wonderful opportunity to reinforce the age-appropriate skill of thinking from another's perspective - what might others like and appreciate?

When my child questioned why younger children are not told the 'truth,' I simply explained to her that young children are very concrete and cannot understand it the same way she could. So, we make the 'Santa spirit' into Santa until they can better understand. Making sure the child understands not to tell others is, of course, essential. I thought it might be hard for my first child to keep it to herself, so I walked her through how she would have felt years before, when she could not understand as well. That helped her 'get it;' that she would merely be the bringer of bad news, and would not be appreciated for it! She didn't tell.

K.,
I bet your 11 year old already knows but isn't saying anything!
Our 7 year old figured it out this summer when he read a Judy Blume book. But, he had some serious questions before that. If your kids are in school - I bet they already are wondering about it or maybe even know. But, don't just out and out tell them. See if they have any questions.... and see what comes up.

As others have said, he knows and is playing along. Even if he hasn't figured it out kids at school have said something. Even after both of your boys know it doesn't mean Santa can't still stop at your house. I have a 13 year old and 10 year old who both know the truth, but Santa still comes to our house. (Sometimes we kind of even joke about it.) My mom is really into Christmas and we got "Santa gifts" and stockings until I was in my 20s! I told my oldest when he was about 10. He had been asking me and bugging me for a long time and I had been elusive. Finally he asked me when his little brother wasn't around and I told him. I asked him not to spoil it for his little brother and other little kids. My youngest has been asking for years too and I finally pretty much told him last year. He asked me if I believed in Santa and I told him I believe in the "spirit of Santa" and explained what I meant. I also asked him to be careful around the little kids at school and on the bus and made it sound like I was giving him an important job to preserve Santa for the little kids. He took it very seriously. Good luck!

I just think its better for them to either figure it out on their own or come to you to talk about it seriously. Otherwise, they might feel hurt and just see it as you were just lying to them all along.

I remember how I finally figured it out. I was half asleep and saw my stepfather walking just outside my door - which he had forgotten to close. The next day I talked to my mom about it and she explained the general idea behind Santa without making it feel like I was being lied to for spite.

I may catch alot of flack for this but here goes.

i still havent told my boys and they are 20 and 22.

from day one i told them the story of St Nicholas who was real and who did real acts of kindness and really did deliver things to children.

i then proceeded to tell them that of course one person couldnt do it all for everyone and so since the real man died the spirit of St Nicholas (modernized to Santa Clause) is up to each one of us to interpret and decide how real.

i then added....once you no longer believe he is not obligated to visit.

i may never know at what age they turned from believing one aspect to knowing the trueth of the spirit of St Nick but to this day they still say they believe

:)

I think you will find that your 11 year old already knows - and is just pretending for your benifit and for your 7 year old (who also may know by now)

Kids figure out the Santa Claus thing on their own. Your 11 yr old probably has already figured it out. My kids figured it out when they noticed that everything came wrapped in the same paper. I tried to tell them that Santa ran out of paper and had to wrap their gifts when he got to our house. Yeah, they didn't buy it. I like the fantasy of the whole Santa myth for kids so I let them figure it out for themselves.

I say let the older one come to you. My son came to us at 11 and I asked him "What do you think"? He said "My heart tells me yes but my friends tell me no. I told him I feel one should more than likely follow your heart. Another friend with an 11 yr old had the same question. Last year we arranged for the family to be out and things just mysteriously appeared while the entire family was out... So they bothe came back with the "I believe" thoughts. Once they know the truth, some of the magic is lost. I remember at 12, I kind of still believed. My mom came to me and said "You don't still believe in Santa do you?" Well once she asked I shook my head no and waited for a response. She asked "when did you figure it out?" My response was "just now." It was truthful. She had told me at that moment and Christmas never was the same. Hold out for now. He will come to you soon. :)

Let them believe as long as you can!!! Once the 11 year old knows the 7 year old will find out.

I told my girls before the start of 5th grade. I went to the library and checked out a book on the history of St. Nick (there really was a St. Nick in Germany). I then began to tell them that the spirit of Christmas lives within all of us. I wanted them to know so they wouldn't get teased. Although I did say that there would be kids who still believed and to not tell them. There were kids in the 4th grade telling them that he wasn't real and that it was their parents. Some kids do get mean and say "what? you still believe?". When I told my oldest I told her not to share with her younger sisters. She did a great job and didn't say a thing! Good luck to you!

Chances are that your 11 year old and probably your 7 year old already knows but doesn't want Santa to stop coming so they are keeping quiet on it. My youngest is 4 years younger then my middle child so when the older two found out (around 8 and 9) I told them that as soon as the youngest finds out, Santa doesn't come to the house anymore. This kept them quiet around him and they had him believing until he was quite a bit older... or had him let on that he still believed...lol. Once they all stopped believing I still made Christmas fun by getting three matching big boxes and wrapping their presents then putting them in the big boxes and wrapping that, putting wrong names on the big boxes (gifts inside had name tags on them too). I also did a treasure hunt for presents and would code the packages with putting a color of ribbion on each childs package or using the same wrapping paper.. then not putting the name tags on them. They never knew who's present was who's until I handed them out Christmas morning.

She probably already knows but is playing along because it is a nice idea and your 7 year old isn't ready to learn it. I neverdid tell my kids they figured it our on there on even though still today they get a gift from Santa but they know it is from mom/dad. Don't be a in a rush to end the innonence of childhood so soon.

Whenever someone asked my mom about Santa she'd just get a funny smirk on her face and say, "Of COURSE Santa is real!!" And she wasn't really lying because the SPIRIT of Santa/St. Nick is VERY real. The smirk was her way of letting them know that they're in on the big secret... but without the slap-on-the-face feel of telling us it was all a big fake. Mom & Dad never actually told me out loud... I would have been SO CRUSHED. Even to this day I never say anything out loud about Santa not being real. It would ruin the magic for any little kid who might be eavesdropping - AND for me.

My daughter knew at age 7 mainly because of her friends at school. I am sure your 11 year old has a pretty good idea but try to keep it going with your 7 year old as long as you can!

My 7 year-old figured it out last year, along with the tooth fairy, the Easter bunny... It doesn't mean you can't keep up the traditions and likely they will enjoy playing along.

If your 11 year old truly doesn't know, one concern I would have is kids at school can be cruel and make fun...

My daughter, who is 9 years old (she'll be 10 in April), has been asking me very pointed and specific questions about sex. Yeah. So it's time for us to sit down and talk about the birds and the bees. But I didn't feel it was appropriate to talk about sex if she first wasn't aware that Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy aren't real. I mean, I need her to respect me and believe me when I tell her something as important as sex; I didn't want to talk to her about sex with her still believing that Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy are real, when they're not.

So I told her the end of September. She sort of already had a sense that they weren't real, but she was still a little sad that they weren't. But it wasn't a big problem or a big deal. I told her one of the best things to say to a classmate who asks her if she believes in Santa Claus was to say, "You know, I believe in Santa Claus because I want to receive presents" or some such. We've always emphasized, from little on, the religious aspects of Christmas and that it is a time of giving and sharing--and not just receiving.

Now that my daughter knows that she can trust me not to lie to her, our sessions on sex have been going very well. I'm glad she knows, and I'm glad we have the trust that we have between us.

No!! Let your 11 year old have the joy of figuring it out him/herself!

All three of mine found out sometime between 4th grade and 5th grade Christmas. They had to drag "the truth" out of me with endless pestering. At that point I knew they knew, they just wanted to hear it from me. I never actually said there's no Santa, I just told them Santa doesn't give presents to people who don't believe in him, so maybe you'd better keep believing... They got the point.

My kids went to a school where the kids wouldn't make fun of them, so I knew I didn't have to worry about that. The other kids were actually so nice that if they knew, they didn't tell the other kids.

If your kid goes to a rough and tough public school, instead of a touchy-feely charter school like my kids did, maybe the situation could be different.

K.,

Why would you want to tell them. At my house (I have a 12 year old) Santa is alive and well. Santa is a spirit that lives in everyone. He may not deliver presents but that why we help. Santa is the spirit of giving and that can be fostered in many ways.

Good luck with your decision.

I'm a single mom of a wonderful 12 year old that still believes in the spirit of Santa.

Why spoil the fun and the magic of Christmas if your 11-yr-old still believes? I would wait until he finds out for themself. Or maybe he already knows, but is playing along.

why ruin the belief of santa....i'm planning on not telling my 7 year old the truth until he asks about it. i strongly believe in christ's birth as the center of christmas but santa is the spirit of giving unto others. so for me santa will always be a big part of our christms's. once you tell a child the truth it can never be undone again....let them believe in the childhood!!!!

When my daughter was 5 some older neighbor kids were "kind" enough to tell her that there was no Santa. When she asked me about it I told her if she didn't believe Santa wouldn't come. She is in college and Santa still visits both of us (we do each other now of course). chances are pretty good that your 11 year old already knows but wants to continue believing so he can get presents too.

I'd just sound him out and see the go from there. As the oldest of 7 kids as long as the younger ones recieved from Santa as did I and since my youngest brother is 16 1/2 yrs younger I got presents from Santa until I left home.

Good luck and Merry Christmas to all.

I'm a little surprised if your 11-year-old doesn't already know. You must be much more convincing than I am! lol My kids always found out from other kids at school, in the neighborhood, etc. Currently, my kids are 12, 11, 8 and 6...only the 6-year-old still believes in Santa. The 8-year-old did through last year, but he apparently got things figured out between then and now.

I was one of those stubborn kids who continued believing "because my parents told me so" until my mom finally broke it to me one day. Looking back, I already knew the truth, but it was disappointing to have her tell me, nonetheless.

In answer to your question though, yes, it's probably time to tell your 11-year-old. Just watch out that you emphasize the importance of not telling the younger child. We had problems with this when our first child figured out for himself that Santa wasn't real when he was 4! We couldn't convince him otherwise and at that young of an age he felt like it was important info he should be sharing with his sister (who was only 3!).

Good luck.